We begin to think...with the power and precision which will make obsolete many of the functions of the human brain.

I am reason.

Everything is reasonable.

You do not know me.

10:58 <xeno> I WAS HAPPY WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 5.
11:00 <solios> life started to suck around puberty.
11:04 <xeno> [13.58.16] <xeno> I WAS HAPPY WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 5.
11:04 <solios> :|
11:04 <solios> being an adult sucks.
11:04 <solios> bills and health and job and routines.
11:04 <xeno> sure does.
11:05 <xeno> RESPONSIBILITY--
11:05 <solios> and the shit thing about routines is that your brain goes FUCK I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE and IGNORES IT.
11:05 <xeno> i liked it when i knew EXACTLY what every day would bring
11:05 <solios> so you lose WEEKS. AND MONTHS. AND YEARS.
11:05 <solios> uh.
11:05 <xeno> wake up, board bus, sit in school, eat lunch, RECESS, sit in school some more, go home, play outside, eat supper, go to bed
11:05 <solios> you know exactly what every day will bring NOW.
11:05 <xeno> REPEAT
11:05 <solios> the difference is you don't LIKE IT.
11:05 <solios> see?
11:05 <xeno> heh
11:05 <xeno> POINT.

21:51 <@solios> fagbot: Bill?
21:51 <+fagbot> Bill is looking for an old woman, in the middle of nowhere.
21:51 <@solios> :D
21:51 <@solios> Bill++
21:51 <@xeno> i told you he Popped By once, when I was still living in liberty right?
21:51 <@solios> we have the same birthday.
21:51 <@solios> O_o
21:51 <@solios> odd.
21:51 <@solios> I think you mentioned it.
21:51 <@xeno> i heard a motorcycle
21:52 <@solios> Bill rules.
21:52 <@xeno> and i went Outside
21:52 <@xeno> and there was a bill there
21:52 <@solios> :O
21:52 <@xeno> and he had a Bag
21:52 <@xeno> and i was like UH.
21:52 <@solios> Bill and Wes make up for the Ed.
21:52 <@xeno> and he tromped up to the porch
21:52 <@xeno> and blomped the bag down on it
21:52 <@xeno> and said here
21:52 <@xeno> and left
21:52 <@solios> o_O
21:52 <@solios> wt
21:52 <@xeno> IT WAS BEER.
21:52 <@solios> !

21:54 <@solios> I'm in a Mood.
21:54 <@solios> :/
21:56 <@xeno> i noticed
21:56 <@xeno> no more vodka for you.
21:56 <@solios> I had one.
21:56 <@solios> and it was whiskey.
21:57 <@xeno> dumb.
21:57 <@xeno> ASS.
21:57 <@solios> ?
21:57 <@solios> I ATE afterwards!
21:57 <@xeno> my recommendation to you is to start drinking.
21:57 <@xeno> heavily.
21:57 * xeno hands solios the JD.
21:58 <+ejp> there's a fine line between too much and not enough.
21:58 <+ejp> this is true of most things.
21:59 <@xeno> yar
21:59 <@xeno> not enough == not dead
21:59 <@xeno> too much == dead
21:59 <@xeno> it sucks that way
21:59 <@xeno> sucks enough to make a person start drinking.
21:59 <+ejp> ...

[07.52.09] < @xeno> <- Aphex Twin : Tha
[08.04.43] < @xeno> IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) eventually acquired a good deal of negative publicity, not least among the legion of dance producers and fans whose exclusion from the community prompted the question of whether they produced stupid dance music.
[08.04.50] < @xeno> :D
[08.07.18] < +_Lasar> SDM
[08.07.33] < @xeno> :D
[08.07.34] < +_Lasar> Uh.
[08.07.58] < +_Lasar> All the radio top hit charts consist off 581% SDM.
[08.08.26] < @xeno> yup
[08.08.40] < @xeno> this is why I rarely listen to it
[08.08.45] < @xeno> i assmue it's going to be bad
[08.08.59] < @xeno> and what's great about that is, when I do happen to tune in, it usually isn't
[08.09.11] < @xeno> so I must have a special power relating to catching radio stations at a good time
[08.09.24] < +_Lasar> :)
[08.09.41] < +_Lasar> So you're kind of a super hero, only your super power isn't all that exciting :)
[08.10.05] < @xeno> yes.
[08.10.12] < @xeno> I have other, specialer powers though.
[08.10.24] < +_Lasar> "specialer powers"
[08.10.29] < @xeno> ;)
[08.10.40] < +_Lasar> Like speakening?
[08.10.54] < @xeno> no.
[08.11.09] < @xeno> i took that as a disadvantage to get more points for my variable power pool.

"'How does the story come to you, sai?' Roland asked quietly.

'I don't like the New Agers... the crystal-wavers... all the it-don't-matter, turn-the-pagers... but they call it channeling, and that's... how it feels... like something in a channel...'"

- Stephen King, Song of Susannah, 28 May, 2003

---

We are not poets,
we are not writers.

We are mediums,
trans-cable connections from There to Here.

We organise,
arrange,
systemise,
coordinate.

We do not create,
we channel.

- xeno, 23 April, 2002

O_O

12:56 < xeno_scotch> yesterday i had only drank the top half the bottle
12:56 < xeno_scotch> today i'm working on the bottom
12:56 < xeno_scotch> and, as everyone knows, that's stronger
12:56 < xeno_scotch> because really, when you drink half a bottle, you're drinking the bottom, filtered through the top
12:56 < xeno_scotch> so the last half is always stronger.
12:56 < xeno_scotch> PH34R THE LOGIC OF THE XENO
12:57 <@ejp> the anti-logic
12:57 < xeno_scotch> well, yes.
12:57 < xeno_scotch> there really isn't any other kind

I'm kickin' it on the biomass equivalent of one meal a day. Xeno's rebooting his biorythm the {easy|hard} way.

<xeno_reset> things are getting... thing.

And stuff.

A brief explanation, via IRC, of a Reset. Description, brief how-to follows:

[09.21.08] < @_Lasar> Blar
[09.21.17] < @_Lasar> My priorities:
[09.21.21] < @_Lasar> 1) Stay awake
[09.21.40] < @_Lasar> 2) Look productive enough to keep boss from chcking on me
[09.21.50] < @_Lasar> 3) Maybe even get something done
[09.21.58] < xeno_reset> hahaha
[09.22.07] < xeno_reset> My priorities:
[09.22.11] < xeno_reset> 1) Stay awake
[09.22.20] < xeno_reset> 2) Successful reset
[09.22.29] < xeno_reset> 3) See 1)

[02.59.29] ejp (~panties@cloak-2819D15A.drizzle.com) is now known as Maarken
[02.59.33] < Maarken> this
[02.59.36] < xeno> I have read one Dragonlance book
[02.59.39] < solios> o____________O
[02.59.44] solios (~solios@cloak-2819D15A.drizzle.com) is now known as Hayte
[02.59.48] Maarken (~panties@cloak-2819D15A.drizzle.com) is now known as ejp
[02.59.48] < xeno> it was something about a minotaur called Huma or something
[02.59.49] < Hayte> I see your dnd and raise you.
[02.59.50] < @bda> Fags.
[02.59.51] < xeno> and I really liked it
[02.59.56] < xeno> holy balls
[02.59.59] < @bda> The Riftwar Saga is the only fantasy series I at all likes.
[03.00.01] xeno (~no@cloak-31811941.stcgpa.adelphia.net) is now known as Luthro
[03.00.03] < Luthro> asldjfasl;f
[03.00.05] < Hayte> !
[03.00.06] Luthro (~no@cloak-31811941.stcgpa.adelphia.net) is now known as Luthor
[03.00.07] < Luthor> I win
[03.00.09] < Hayte> OMFG
[03.00.10] < @bda> You homos.
[03.00.12] < Hayte> CHESTNUT.
[03.00.12] < Luthor> CHESTNUT.
[03.00.14] < ejp> we may not be talking about the same Dragonlance.
[03.00.15] < Hayte> sdrsdghdfh fgh
[03.00.16] < Luthor> as;ljflsdjfalsdjf;lkasjdflkashdtgio3awhgrvouehan

In reference to a previous entry, I've recieved a response though Jolie.

It goes a little something like this:

11:05 <xeno> HAHAHAHA
11:05 <xeno> i have callouses.
11:05 <xeno> ON MY BACK.
11:05 <xeno> FROM THE CHAIR
11:05 <xeno> i am awesome

[02.03.40] < xeno> ajsdlfaklsd
[02.03.42] < xeno> solios: DU'ROC
[02.03.45] < xeno> that was it
[02.03.51] < solios> kldjsfghkjkl;j.
[02.03.54] < solios> goddammit.
[02.03.58] < solios> you FUCKASS.
[02.04.03] * solios slays xeno.
[02.04.05] < xeno> asdfaj;sfd
[02.04.06] < xeno> spittake
[02.04.11] < solios> :D
[02.04.15] < xeno> my monitor is now showered in Jone's Energy Drink

Xeno provided food and covered most operating expenses in Lock Haven. The Pittsburgh experience came out of my pocket. No worries, the electric bill isn't due until the 25th.

Xeno and I haven't hung out for any length of time since the summer of 2000. My five minute pit stop in December of 2001 and three years of IRC don't really count. On IRC, no one can hear you stink.

Or something.

Lock Haven :

The suck : Lock Haven, trying to get IPX to work so we could play Diablow, Xeno's sound card, xeno getting my powerbook drunk.
The word : Ass.
The food : Awesome. (xenoburgers, xenoghetti, BOWL FUCKING NOODLE)
The booze : Vodka, Port, peach wine. Xeno had beer as well.
The entertainment : Painkiller, MAIL CALL, Quake III
The high point : Talking bathroom stall at lycoming mall, photo safaris, Steven taking a weapons grade piss all over xeno, getting TOTALLY WASTED Tuesday night. Quake III.
The low point : Forty trips to Wal-Mart and NO PR0N.

Transit :

The high point : Ohl
The low point : numb ass.
The music : some funked out French AM station

Pittsburgh :

The suck : White Power flag in some suburban fuckhole we were stuck in during rush hour.
The word : Awesome.
The food : Tom's Diner (Xeno : Greek Salad. Solios: PANCAKES)
The booze : Vodka from Lock Haven
The entertainment : Waterfront, Hellboy. Xeno saw the museum on Thursday.
The high point : Margaritas and Porn
The low point : We saw Hellboy instead.

Totals:

Cigarettes smoked : About 12 packs in six days.
Booze consumed : All of it. Except for a bit of vodka, which I'm consuming tonight.
Monetary Dissipation : Approximately ~400$, total extent of damage unknown at this point.
Miles Driven : All of them.
Fun Had : Damn near all of it. Pittsburgh is a depressingly bland shithole by comparison.

in the /away log:

19:01 -!- Irssi: Starting query in moo with xeno_beer
19:01 < xeno_beer> >_<
19:01 < xeno_beer> FAG.
19:01 < xeno_beer> OMFG FAG FAG FAG FAG FAGGITY FAG FAG FAG FAG
19:01 < xeno_beer> you looted Ace of Bass
19:02 < xeno_beer> goddamn you're gay
19:03 < xeno_beer> ELF BOOTY GOT SOUL

In #loc:

19:02 < @xeno_beer> I just now looked at the shared directory that solios was using when he was here
19:02 < @xeno_beer> he leeched some music from me
19:02 < @xeno_beer> ACE. OF. BASE.
19:02 < @xeno_beer> fag.
19:02 < @xeno_beer> fag fag fag fag fag fag.
19:08 -!- solios_afk is now known as solios
19:08 * solios wins.
19:10 < @xeno_beer> :D
19:10 < @xeno_beer> buttpeach
19:10 < @solios> look.
19:10 < @solios> you're the one that HAD it.

21:42 < xeno_molson> fagbot: doot for liberty
21:42 < fagbot> you can see how upset it makes me
21:42 < solios> fagbot: doot for liberty again
21:42 < fagbot> WHAT THE NUTS
21:43 < xeno_molson> fagbot: doot for tioga
21:43 < fagbot> HOLY CRAP

[14.22.59] < @xeno> <- Juno Reactor : God is God
[14.23.09] < @solios> well, he IS, you know.
[14.24.51] < @xeno> ALLAH ACKBAR
[14.25.18] < @solios> I like how modern islam completely ignores Mohammad's big major thing.
[14.25.22] < @solios> which was La Allah.
[14.25.28] < @solios> or, "there is no god."
[14.27.08] < @xeno> actually, no.
[14.28.27] < @solios> you have your historical documentation, I have mine.
[14.28.41] < @solios> also, the fundies forget about two things:
[14.29.00] < @xeno> I also have the koran
[14.29.02] < @xeno> which I've read
[14.29.05] < @solios> Islam : there's a chapter in the holy book that flat out says "to each their own. mind your own damned bidness."
[14.29.06] < @xeno> in several versions
[14.29.15] < @solios> Christianity : thousand years of peace after the warthing.
[14.29.23] < @xeno> and studied the religion comparativley for about 2 years
[14.29.33] < @xeno> you're right about the mind your own damn business part
[14.29.37] < @solios> :D
[14.29.56] < @xeno> but also don't forget, Mohammed was very clear: death to infidels
[14.30.08] < @xeno> however, the actual meaning of infidel has been distorted by politics
[14.30.14] < @xeno> it didn't mean unbelievers of Allah
[14.30.25] < @solios> m-w.com
[14.30.26] < @xeno> it mean unbelievers, period. and blasphemers and the like
[14.30.36] < @solios> acc. to M-W, it's unbelievers of the Christian God.
[14.30.36] < @xeno> sadfjlisadflkjasd;f
[14.30.37] * @xeno dies
[14.30.43] < @xeno> IT'S AN ARABIC WORD OMFG
[14.31.06] < @xeno> it didn't come into the western speech until the crusades
[14.31.09] * @xeno sighs

23:10 <@xeno_drunk> I JUST BASHED MY TEEHT WITH A ABREER BOOTTLE
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> >:L|
23:10 < _absolut> Ouch.
23:10 <@solios> your TEEHT?
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> YES
23:10 < _absolut> Hah.
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> my TEEHT
23:10 <@solios> ow.
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> fuck you
23:10 <@solios> <- dying
23:10 < _absolut> My wine wasn't even good, and I nearly killed myself opening it. :|
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> .,me notes that ehe still types better crunk thena soliso ssober
23:11 <@xeno_drunk> o_o
23:11 * xeno_drunk surrenders

14:06 < xeno> they don't fit, k? k. :|
14:08 < solios> k. :|
14:08 < solios> you could, like, stick your nads in the blender.
14:08 < xeno> dude
14:08 < xeno> they makeasdfksjdfa
14:08 < xeno> o_O
14:09 < xeno> they make mr. wonderful turn purple
14:09 < xeno> and I can never pull them on more than halfway
14:09 < xeno> and buying magnums is out, because it's embarrassing
14:09 < xeno> plus, the magnum means length, not width
14:09 < solios> buy horse condoms. :P
14:10 < solios> regular condoms are tight. :|
14:10 < xeno> LOL!
14:10 < xeno> horse condoms
14:10 < xeno> I doubt they make those
14:11 < solios> They do.
14:11 < xeno> yes, but they'd be a few inches too long
14:12 < solios> roll them up.
14:12 < solios> like pants.
14:13 * xeno falls over

14:06 < solios> I always always always ALWAYS USE A CONDOM ALWAYS OMFG.
14:06 < xeno> ...
14:06 < solios> Last girl I dated went on birth control.
14:06 < solios> < kristen> we can have sex with out condom!
14:06 < solios> < solios> no.
14:06 < solios> < kristen> WE ARE HAVING SEX WITHOUT THE CONDOM.
14:06 < solios> < solios> k.
14:06 < solios> * sex happens
14:06 < solios> (approximately one minute after sex)
14:07 < solios> * kristen sits up in bed
14:07 < solios> < kristen> O_o
14:07 < solios> < kristen< OMFG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14:07 < photon> hahahaah
14:07 * xeno dies
14:07 < xeno> just end it there
14:07 < xeno> that's perfect

[13.39.20] < @xeno> HAHAHAHA OMFG
[13.39.35] < @xeno> * kazaa downloads look_at_this_dumb_bitch_i_fucked.mpg
[13.39.37] < @xeno> WTF
[13.40.00] < @xeno> this is what I get for telling kazaa DOWNLOAD PR0N and then leaving it on for days
[13.40.20] < @xeno> < kazaa> pr0n?
[13.40.25] < @xeno> < xeno> pr0n.
[13.40.28] < @xeno> < kazaa> which?
[13.40.31] < @xeno> < xeno> yes.
[13.40.35] < @xeno> < kazaa> k!
[13.40.57] < @xeno> asdjflksljf

16:38 * solios makes an ass out of himself.
16:38 < solios> which is, all things considered, fairly easy.
16:38 < xeno> :D :D :D
16:38 < xeno> <-- giggling
16:38 < xeno> THROUGH A HEADACHE ASSMONGER
16:38 < solios> :D
16:42 < xeno> still giggling
16:42 < xeno> asshole
17:16 < solios> :D
18:30 < xeno> GODAMMIT
18:30 < xeno> I went away for an hour, reread it, and I'm laughing again
18:30 < xeno> I hate you
18:31 < solios> :)

[17.02.54] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#hoopdi
[17.02.55] < solios> :D
[18.22.47] < xeno> omfg you found a picture of a Granada
[18.22.49] < xeno> shame on you
[18.22.54] < xeno> shame shame SHAME

[15.25.22] < solios> :D
[16.13.48] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#5c
[16.14.06] < solios> :D :D
[16.19.11] < xeno> Not Found
[16.19.11] < xeno> The requested URL /loc/www.hermetics.org/pdf/Liber_777.pdf was not found on this server.
[16.19.16] < xeno> See?
[16.20.05] < xeno> btw, that url had 40 characters in it
[16.20.15] < xeno> which is easily divisble by 5
[16.20.16] < xeno> :)
[16.20.22] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES
[16.24.52] < solios> :P
[16.26.12] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#blam
[16.28.31] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/000104.php
[16.28.33] < solios> O_o
[16.31.09] < solios> That entry has been deleted from the database.
[16.31.10] < solios> :O
[16.44.04] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/000055.php
[18.23.44] < xeno> I see you fixed the url for 777
[18.23.48] < solios> yes.
[18.24.14] < xeno> 42 characters
[18.24.18] < xeno> 4+2=6
[18.24.20] < solios> :>
[18.24.29] < xeno> factors of 6: 1,2,3,6
[18.24.29] < solios> 4*2=8
[18.24.34] < xeno> 2+3=5
[18.24.40] < xeno> 6-1=5
[18.24.48] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES
[18.25.55] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#5c
[18.27.01] < xeno> also, 7*7*7=343
[18.27.05] < xeno> 3+4+3=10
[18.27.09] < xeno> see where this is going yet?
[18.27.14] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES
[18.27.35] < solios> k
[18.27.38] < xeno> ;)
[18.27.46] < xeno> You really should become an Erisian.
[18.27.51] < solios> ?
[18.27.54] < solios> k = 11
[18.27.54] < xeno> Then we could piss each other off even more
[18.27.58] < solios> ??
[18.28.00] < xeno> :)
[18.28.09] < xeno> I'd tell you, but then I'd have to laugh at you.
[18.28.42] < xeno> yes, k is the 11th letter of the alphabet
[18.28.44] < xeno> what of it?
[18.28.50] < xeno> we're talking about NUMBERS, not letters ;P
[18.28.56] < solios> :D
[18.29.00] < solios> 1+1=
[18.29.03] < solios> 2!
[18.29.07] < solios> 1*1 = 1!
[18.29.07] < xeno> yes
[18.29.11] < solios> THERE IS NO FIVE.
[18.29.17] < solios> there is only zu'ul.
[18.29.35] < xeno> however, if you really feel the need to bring it up: 26 total letters in the alphabet. K is the 11th letter. That leaves 15 other letters. ;)
[18.29.43] < solios> fddkjfhsadjkfhkjshfj.
[18.29.54] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES

[15:33.09] < xeno> So, I'm reading Great Expectations.
[15:33.17] < xeno> I'm in the middle of the book
[15:33.29] < xeno> And suddenly, the binding kind of crumbles, and about 20 pages drift to the floor.
[15:33.37] < xeno> If that's not a commentary on my life, I don't know what is.
[15:33.56] < ejp> haha

< me> Hi, I'm here to renew my license.
< ladything> k
* ladything hands me a form
< ladything> fill that out, and we need a check for $26
< me> k
* me does this thing
* ladything clicky clicks on the computer
* ladything hands back form w/check
< ladything> I'm sorry sir, we cannot renew your license at this time.
< me> ...
* ladything points at something on the license.
< license> Expires: 05/02/04
< license> asshole

[00.05.42] < ejp> also, why is it that snivling pansy-ass little spazzes get hot girlfriends, and a good chunk of ~. gets zip?
[00.05.59] < ejp> < /meatspace_inspired_rant>
[00.06.42] * @bda pauses.
[00.08.57] < Xenothaulus> ejp: hot girlfriends are only cool to have if they don't speak
[00.09.00] < Xenothaulus> That's what dicks are for
[00.09.05] < Xenothaulus> To put in there and shut them up
[00.11.00] < ejp> I don't think that's the correct answer.
[00.11.18] < Xenothaulus> Probably not.
[00.11.25] < Xenothaulus> fagbot: doot for hot girlfriends
[00.11.32] < fagbot> to JERK OFF is to be CLOSE TO GOD...only with SPURTING
[00.11.42] < Xenothaulus> THERE'S your answer.
[00.11.53] < Xenothaulus> Fapping will protect you from the Terrible Secret of Space.
[00.12.55] < ejp> I don't think taking advice on girls from FAGbot is a good idea
[00.13.00] < Xenothaulus> ...
[00.13.00] < Xenothaulus> :D
[00.13.02] < Xenothaulus> Good point.
[00.13.09] < @bda> Or Xeno, apparently.
[00.13.14] < Xenothaulus> Then take advice from someone who's been fucked over too many times.
[00.13.17] < Xenothaulus> They're not worth it.
[00.13.31] < Xenothaulus> Get one drunk, bring her home, bang her, and then throw her out.
[00.13.36] < Xenothaulus> wash/rinse/repeat
[00.13.50] < @bda> That's.. great.
[00.13.57] < @bda> Only the exact opposite of great.
[00.14.00] < @bda> Where it's not great at all.
[00.14.22] < Xenothaulus> Sure it is. You get the bang without having to worry about the buck.
[00.14.37] < @bda> See, still not great.
[00.14.47] < Xenothaulus> Um...
[00.14.54] < Xenothaulus> Wait until you've been through the mill enough times.
[00.14.59] < Xenothaulus> And then married on top of that.
[00.15.06] < Xenothaulus> You'll change your mind in a goddamn hurry.
[00.15.11] < @bda> Uh huh.
[00.15.25] < Xenothaulus> Women are a pain in the ass and barely worth the time, effort and money spent on them.
[00.15.38] < Xenothaulus> I'd much rather go to a bar, find one, fuck her and then kick her out.
[00.15.46] < Xenothaulus> The whole relationship thing has left me rather cold.
[00.15.51] < @bda> Uh huh.
[00.16.01] < Xenothaulus> Gives them way too much power and all it does is hurt you in the end.
[00.16.49] < ejp> yeeeeah. ok then.
[00.17.05] < Xenothaulus> < /lovelife_inspired_rant>
[00.17.36] < @bda> I don't think that was regarding your lovelife at all.
[00.17.44] < @bda> I think that would more accurately be described as your hatelife.

[21.42.57] < Xenothaulus> Oh, something neat happened to me today.
[21.43.05] < solios> pr0n?
[21.43.08] < Xenothaulus> You know those asshole banana clips women put in their hair?
[21.43.18] < Xenothaulus> Well, Katie left one lying on the bathroom floor.
[21.43.27] < Xenothaulus> And when I stepped out of the shower, BLOM!
[21.43.27] < solios> o_O
[21.43.29] < solios> WANG!
[21.43.45] < Xenothaulus> The best part is, I've never stepped on anything ever before, not even a thumbtack.
[21.43.53] < solios> o_O
[21.44.12] < Xenothaulus> This time, I stepped on ALL the things. You know the little prongs on them? Right. I stepped on it lengthwise, so about 32984238957 of them little bastards sank into my foot.
[21.44.18] < Xenothaulus> ALL. THE. WAY.
[21.44.25] < Xenothaulus> They're about an inch long.
[21.44.37] < Xenothaulus> So I'm like, "Well, THAT'S fucking nice."
[21.44.45] < Xenothaulus> And sit down on the tub rail to begin to extricate them.
[21.44.58] < Xenothaulus> That's when I realised that the clip was UNDER A BLUE WALMART GROCERY BAG.
[21.45.12] < solios> hm.
[21.45.14] < Xenothaulus> I noticed this because the goddamn thing was stapled to my foot.
[21.45.14] < solios> you win.

This is all, to the extent that memory serves, completely true. I was a total junky when I was three. Honest. I WAS A TUMS WHORE.

03:48 < solios> CHIGANDA!
03:48 < solios> dear GODS.
03:48 < solios> WHY am I talking to a gurl from deviantart?!
03:49 < solios> INOW BETTER.
03:49 < solios> but alas, no.
03:49 <@bda> Drunk ass ho.
03:50 < ejp> THE WANG IS STRONGER THAN THE MIND!
03:50 < solios> well.
03:50 < solios> I switched, you see.
03:50 < solios> from V/T to V/C.
03:50 < solios> VEIT FUCKING CONG!
03:50 < ejp> you're straight now?
03:50 <@bda> VIET.
03:50 < solios> ,CHARLIE'S IN THE TREES!!!! CHARLIE'S INM THE TREEEEEEEEZ!
03:50 < solios> OMFG!
03:50 < solios> ejp: >:|
03:50 < solios> VODKA
03:51 < solios> CRANBERRY
03:51 < ejp> oh.
03:51 < solios> vodka tonic = sip sip eh fuzzy poppy carbonated :|
03:51 * ejp grumbles and pokes time
03:51 < solios> vodka cranberry = slurp! XD
03:51 < solios> ejp: NYQUIL.
03:52 < ejp> there's other shit in there. a couple of which make my nose bleed like a fucking faucet.
03:52 <@bda> Crackfriends.
03:52 <@bda> You're all fucking crackfiends.
03:52 < solios> hm.
03:52 < solios> you know.
03:52 < solios> when I was three.
03:52 <@bda> HEY CRACKFIEND LAY OFF THE CRACK
03:52 < solios> I'd just jump in my parent's medicine cabinet.
03:52 < solios> and chow down.
03:52 < solios> true story.
03:52 <@bda> Holy shit.
03:52 <@bda> That explains a lot.
03:52 < ejp> explains a lot.
03:52 < ejp> heh
03:52 < solios> random nosebleeds.
03:52 < solios> ear bleeding.
03:53 < solios> that was fun.
03:53 < solios> also, fingernailes.
03:53 < solios> though that may have been from the nose or ears.
03:53 <@bda> ...
03:54 < mdxiGaming> I TOLD U I WUZ HARDCORE
03:54 < solios> no, really.
03:54 < solios> I remember mom dragging me out in front of gramma one night, me still shoving tums in my mouth.
03:54 < solios> mom asking gramma if I was, like, gonna die or some shit.
03:54 < solios> gramma deferring to my aunt. o_O
03:55 < solios> man.
03:55 < solios> I totally fucking miss being able to pop 349857349875 pills and still wake up and run around like a maniac the next day.
03:55 < solios> Minus the shitting my pants part. i'm glad I grew out of that.
03:56 <@bda> wtf
03:56 < ejp> I'm sure the right drugs can put you back thre.
03:56 < solios> So am I.
03:56 < solios> But I'd have to wipe my own ass.
03:56 < solios> :|

[21.26.28] < solios> Surprise me and upload it yourself. I think you can do that.
[21.26.31] < solios> :D
[21.26.41] < solios> just name it Xenothaulus.png :>
[21.27.01] < Xenothaulus> yar, but I tried that and it said :P
[21.27.18] < solios> :O
[21.27.25] < solios> what was the error?
[21.27.32] < Xenothaulus> I don't know how.
[21.27.43] < Xenothaulus> where do I upload to?
[21.28.07] < solios> you just upload.
[21.28.12] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.28.12] < solios> it'll default to the loc dir.
[21.28.13] < solios> :D
[21.28.16] < Xenothaulus> right...
[21.28.22] < Xenothaulus> But WHERE?
[21.28.24] < Xenothaulus> And HOW?
[21.28.26] < Xenothaulus> dingus
[21.28.51] < solios> there's an upload file button.
[21.28.55] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.28.58] < solios> in the LOC menu.
[21.29.02] < Xenothaulus> OMFG WH- oh
[21.29.07] < solios> where you would go and edit entries and shit.
[21.29.29] < Xenothaulus> moveable type you mean?
[21.29.51] < solios> that too.
[21.29.56] < solios> MT in the LOC blog.
[21.30.01] < Xenothaulus> hmph
[21.30.04] < Xenothaulus> I'll be damned.
[21.30.09] < Xenothaulus> never noticed an LOC menu...
[21.30.14] < Xenothaulus> Always just clicked new entry
[21.30.17] < solios> erm.
[21.30.22] < solios> assweed.
[21.30.24] < solios> :D
[21.31.21] < Xenothaulus> embedded, yar?
[21.32.18] < solios> No.
[21.32.21] < Xenothaulus> popup?
[21.32.22] < solios> just upload it.
[21.32.26] < solios> as Xenothaulus.png
[21.32.26] < Xenothaulus> >:
[21.32.29] < Xenothaulus> yes
[21.32.35] < Xenothaulus> and now it says, popup or embedded
[21.32.37] < solios> and tell it"overwrite, plzkthks."
[21.32.39] < solios> oh.
[21.32.42] < solios> embedded.
[21.32.46] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.32.46] < solios> then ignore it.
[21.32.47] < solios> :D
[21.32.47] < Xenothaulus> assnugget
[21.32.53] < solios> ?
[21.33.07] < Xenothaulus> that didn't do a goddamn thing
[21.33.15] < solios> o_o
[21.33.21] < Xenothaulus> does it take time matriculate or something?
[21.33.23] < solios> what's the name of the file you're uploading?
[21.33.26] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.33.30] < Xenothaulus> xenothaulus.png
[21.33.32] < Xenothaulus> poohead
[21.33.37] < solios> unix is case sensitive.
[21.33.41] < solios> fartface.
[21.33.51] < Xenothaulus> i reckon it didn't overwrite because you named it xeno.png
[21.33.58] < Xenothaulus> at least, that's what the current one saves as
[21.34.00] < solios> Did not.
[21.34.03] < Xenothaulus> TOO!
[21.34.06] < Xenothaulus> capital x?
[21.34.57] < solios> Yes.
[21.35.02] < Xenothaulus> worked that time
[21.35.09] < solios> !
[21.35.13] < solios> it sure did.
[21.35.14] < Xenothaulus> Looks much better this way, I think.
[21.35.19] < solios> dklfghjfjk.
[21.35.22] < Xenothaulus> The old one looked more like a shrub or some damn thing
[21.35.29] < solios> I reloaded and, like, POING! more tree.
[21.35.38] * Xenothaulus is teh 1337 p1x3l m4573r!
[21.35.42] < solios> k!
[21.35.46] < solios> anyway.
[21.35.52] < solios> you now know how to ADD PIX OMFG.
[21.35.56] < Xenothaulus> yar
[21.36.05] < solios> if you're going to use one in an entry, don't make thumbnails larger than like 500.
[21.36.08] < Xenothaulus> And that's useful... how?
[21.36.09] < solios> k?
[21.36.11] < Xenothaulus> Oh.
[21.36.12] < Xenothaulus> That.
[21.36.17] < Xenothaulus> Okay, so I use one in an entry.
[21.36.18] < solios> :>
[21.36.29] < Xenothaulus> how do I reference it in the writey part?
[21.36.30] < solios> phj34r.
[21.36.36] < solios> simple.
[21.36.41] < solios> you tell it popup or embedded.
[21.36.44] < solios> then you're asked:
[21.36.53] < solios> MAKE A NEW ENTRY WITH THIS OMFG OR LIKE NOT?
[21.36.57] < Xenothaulus> Ah.
[21.37.02] < solios> and you say MAKE A NEW ENTRY WITH THIS OMFG.
[21.37.03] < Xenothaulus> And then it'll put the code in for me eh?
[21.37.05] < solios> and then it does.
[21.37.11] < solios> unless you tell it "popup"
[21.37.15] < solios> then it does anyway.
[21.37.18] < solios> yes.
[21.37.20] < Xenothaulus> So I can write "Writey stuff" picture "See?"
[21.37.26] < solios> pretty much.
[21.37.28] < Xenothaulus> neat
[21.37.38] < solios> you'll want to like < p> or < div> or something it.
[21.37.43] * Xenothaulus downloads entire goatse.cx archives
[21.37.44] < solios> you'll get the hang.
[21.37.46] < solios> you ldkfjgklfjgf.
[21.37.48] < solios> fuck.
[21.37.50] < solios> ass.
[21.37.52] < Xenothaulus> :D
[21.37.52] < solios> o_o
[21.37.55] < solios> o_O
[21.38.02] < Xenothaulus> I just killed me.
[21.38.06] < Xenothaulus> The other I wins.
[21.38.07] < solios> * Xenothaulus wins!
[21.38.13] < solios> * France surrenders.
[21.38.27] < Xenothaulus> < satis> That doesn't take much.
[21.38.35] < solios> exactly.
[21.38.41] < solios> one of your assgoblins would pwn france.
[21.38.41] < Xenothaulus> oh.
[21.38.43] < Xenothaulus> < div>?
[21.38.47] < solios> yeh.
[21.39.01] < solios> < div align="center"> STUFFOMFG < /div>
[21.39.07] < Xenothaulus> yes, I get that.
[21.39.09] < solios> where STUFFOMFG is pretty much whatever.
[21.39.12] < solios> smacks it in the middle.
[21.39.14] < solios> :D
[21.39.17] < Xenothaulus> But is there a difference between < div> and < p>?
[21.39.22] < solios> fuck yes.
[21.39.22] < solios> :D
[21.39.24] < Xenothaulus> And what the hell does < div> stand for anyway?
[21.39.30] < solios> fuck if I know.
[21.39.32] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.39.37] < Xenothaulus> So what's the difference then?
[21.39.40] < solios> div is used for alignment.
[21.39.43] < Xenothaulus> uh...
[21.39.44] < solios> center, left, right.
[21.39.49] < solios> and classes in CSS.
[21.39.54] < Xenothaulus> < p align="center">STUFFOMFG< /p>
[21.40.08] < Xenothaulus> How are they different?
[21.40.25] < solios> ...
[21.40.30] < solios> CSS.
[21.40.32] < Xenothaulus> k!
[21.40.41] < Xenothaulus> CSS won't recognise < p> tags?
[21.40.41] < solios> if you P in LOC, you'll have problems.
[21.40.44] < Xenothaulus> ah
[21.40.45] < solios> Yes.
[21.40.47] < Xenothaulus> gran' so.
[21.40.47] < solios> It will.
[21.40.49] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.40.54] < Xenothaulus> I'mma keel you.
[21.40.54] < solios> I set up the P to do Something.
[21.40.55] < solios> see?
[21.40.58] < Xenothaulus> Ah.
[21.40.59] < Xenothaulus> k.
[21.41.04] < Xenothaulus> What's it do?
[21.41.09] < solios> I forget.
[21.41.11] < Xenothaulus> asdlj;faseljdf
[21.41.13] * Xenothaulus falls over
[21.41.15] < solios> But the point is you shouldn't use it.
[21.41.20] < Xenothaulus> oslios: 0 LOC: 1

17:21 < solios> email from SMS.
17:22 < solios> with password protected pdf.

< pdf> THIS IS NOT A BILL.
< solios> THANK GOD.
< pdf> had this been an actual bill, a swarm of elite SMS ninjas would leap out of this PDF, eat your nads and then sell your teeth to pay off said loan. That is all.
< solios> ...
< pdf> sup, bitch?
* solios closes Acrobat.

[15:24] Xherau: I just didn't understand the lust for entertainment and good times you guys have.
[15:24] Xherau: If that's what it is?

Following a #dotnet discussion in which I revealed my Super S3kr1t Outlook filters:

From: Xeno
To: solios
Date: Thursday, August 14, 2003 20:16
Subject: This is a test

I saw your email about urgent assistance. Can't afford Viagra for your
penis? Mortgage nigeria! This investment oppurtunity is free to join and
won't increase your debt! Our viagar is xxx-strength!

To unsubscribe, contact, FWD or FW the following:

solios@yahoo.com
solios@hotmail.com
geocities
aol.com

This is only a test.

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Had this been an actualy emergency, you would now have 5 seconds before
the magic smoke got out.

'nuff said.

01:55 < Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau> Rule #1 when you are pantsless: Don't think you're cool.
01:55 <@goodbye> hey i'm pantsless right now and i'm coo!
01:55 < Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau> Did you blam one of your nuts with your belt buckle because you were trying to be Jackie Chan?
01:56 <@goodbye> ouch.
01:56 <@solios> wait.
01:56 <@solios> look.
01:57 < Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau> no.
01:57 <@solios> you can't have !pants AND blam a nut on your belt buckle.
01:57 -!- Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau is now known as Xenothaulus
01:57 < Xenothaulus> Yes I can.
01:57 <@solios> Oh, wait.
01:57 <@solios> it's you.
01:57 < Xenothaulus> See?
01:57 < Xenothaulus> I was being Jackie Chan.
01:57 <@solios> You blam your nuts on objects six feet away.
01:57 <@solios> * solios walks by desk
01:57 <@solios> * Xenothaulus walks by desk
01:57 < Xenothaulus> Yes, but in this case, I was attempting to use the belt as nunchuka.
01:57 * Xenothaulus failes
01:57 <@solios> * Xenothaulus blams nuts
01:58 < Xenothaulus> * desk wins
01:58 <@solios> I think it was personal.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> I'm sure it was.
01:58 <@solios> Also, the deck at my parents house.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> It was Heckrote's desk, after all.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> Yeah, that too.
01:58 <@solios> you're lucky you didn't uberblam.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> I almost did.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> I thought I popped it.
01:59 <@solios> like a zit?
01:59 < Xenothaulus> and where the fuck's your umlaut?
01:59 < Xenothaulus> No, like a Richard dropped from 20 m.
01:59 < Xenothaulus> Wait
01:59 < Xenothaulus> No, that would be GAME OVER.
01:59 < Xenothaulus> .
01:59 * solios giggles.
02:00 <@goodbye> hm. samba is giving me trouble on my box.
02:00 < Xenothaulus> The next time I wake up, I'mma email Hawking and ask him what would happen.
02:00 <@goodbye> >:|
02:00 <@solios> Xenothaulus: what, richard blamming his nuts from 20m up?
02:01 < Xenothaulus> Dear Mr. "Holy fuck you're cool too bad you're all fucked up and all and in a wheelchair" Hawking:
02:01 < Xenothaulus> What would happen if a man who weighed all your pounds were dropped from 20m up?
02:01 < Xenothaulus> Thank you,
02:01 < Xenothaulus> Xeno
02:01 <@solios> Xenothaulus: you're the only man I know that can roll a car, land on your nads and be otherwise fine.
02:01 <@solios> You're like a cat that way.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> See?
02:01 <@solios> nads first.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> I am immortal.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> I have inside me blood of kings.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> I have no rival.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> No man can be my equal.
02:01 <@solios> !
02:02 < Xenothaulus> Or, "I am Matron Baen- THWOP!"
02:02 <@solios> * Queen blams Xenothaulus's nuts.
02:02 <@solios> !@#2oi44riurfghjk!.
02:02 * Xenothaulus wins.
02:02 <@solios> Yes.
02:02 <@solios> Yes, you do.
02:02 <@solios> omfg.
02:02 * solios gets his breathing under control.
02:03 <@solios> OH ADVENTURERS!
02:03 < Xenothaulus> lol
02:03 < Xenothaulus> What's funniest about that is that he constantly mis-quoted it.
02:04 < Xenothaulus> "Oh, turn back adventurers! Don't add your deaths upon miiiiiiiiiine!"
02:04 < Xenothaulus> ...
02:04 < Xenothaulus> What's saddest about that is that I know that...
02:04 * Xenothaulus goes to bed
02:04 -!- Xenothaulus is now known as Xenothaulus_zzzzz
02:04 <@solios> i figured you would.
02:04 <@solios> I sure didn't.
02:04 < Xenothaulus_zzzzz> I'll make sure you do someday.
02:05 < Xenothaulus_zzzzz> Actually.
02:07 <@solios> FUCK.

< Xenothaulus> HAL est mort...
< solios_comic> POO!
< solios_comic> What killed it?
< Xenothaulus> I don't know.
< solios_comic> Just BZERT! >_< ?
< Xenothaulus> I pushed power and it went POOMmrrrrnnnnP *smoke*
< solios_comic> You let.
< solios_comic> The MAGIC SMOKE
< solios_comic> OUT?!
< solios_comic> omfg.
< Xenothaulus> Um, I didn't *let* anything.
< Xenothaulus> It just up and left.
< Xenothaulus> So I tried restarting it and got BEEP BEEP BEEP
< Xenothaulus> Kept expecting that damn Feiss chick to come walking in.
< Xenothaulus> So I call the place HAL was born and when the tech support guy started talking, I said, "Shhh." and held the phone to pc speaker.
< Xenothaulus> Left it there while I went and got a soda.
< Xenothaulus> Came back.
< Xenothaulus> Picked up the phone.
< Xenothaulus> Said, "Well?"
< Xenothaulus> TechSupportd00d: Your RAM is fuxx0red.
< Xenothaulus> Me: ...
< Xenothaulus> TechSupportd00d: Turn it off, open the case, and see if the ramstick is seated correctly.
< Xenothaulus> Me: There. Was. FIRE.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: ...
< Xenothaulus> TSd: No there wasn't.
< solios_comic> ...
< Xenothaulus> Me: No, I assure you, I know fire when I see it. It was orange and blue and sparky smelling.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Well, make sure you unplug it too then.
< Xenothaulus> Me: o_O
< Xenothaulus> * me does this thing.
< Xenothaulus> * me restarts HAL
< Xenothaulus> * HAL boots
< Xenothaulus> * HAL gives Missing critical file: C:/WINDOWS/SYSTEM/SYSTEM32
< Xenothaulus> Me: O_O
< Xenothaulus> * me reinstalls XP
< Xenothaulus> XP: No.
< Xenothaulus> Me: YES GODDAMMIT!!
< Xenothaulus> XP: :P
< Xenothaulus> * HAL dies
< solios_comic> o_O
< Xenothaulus> *spooky scary music* BSOD OMFG!!!!
< solios_comic> O_o
< Xenothaulus> Pagefile_something_or_other_fuck_you_and_your_ram
< Xenothaulus> * me calls TechSupportd00d
< Xenothaulus> Me: Remember me, you fucker?
< Xenothaulus> TSd: ...
* solios_comic giggles.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Did it work?
< Xenothaulus> Me: NO IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK YOU FUCKING PIECE SHIT!!! *gasp* *pant*
< Xenothaulus> TSd: BSOD?
< solios_comic> hee hee.
< Xenothaulus> Me: ...
< Xenothaulus> Me: Yes.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Pagefile something or other?
< Xenothaulus> Me: Yes.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Your RAM is fuxx0red. I believe I said that before.
< Xenothaulus> Me: I KEEL YOU!
< solios_comic> So pull the blown chip.
< solios_comic> Pantysniffer.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Have a nice day, and thank you for choosing ibuypower.
< Xenothaulus> *click*
< solios_comic> I blew a processor last night.
< solios_comic> So there.
< Xenothaulus> See, HAL only HAS one chip.
< solios_comic> ...
< solios_comic> USER.
< Xenothaulus> So he's ooc until I can get another one.
< solios_comic> :P
< Xenothaulus> No.
* Xenothaulus has !$$$
< Xenothaulus> However, I've now got about $250 to use.
< solios_comic> o_o
< Xenothaulus> $$$ I WAS planning to use for a new HD.
< Xenothaulus> Now I'mma buy 3 512s and slap in there.
< Xenothaulus> That'll learn 'im.
< Xenothaulus> Oh, and before I called them, I thought mebbe it was teh CMOS battery, as this same symptom happened to our old comp and that's what it was.
< Xenothaulus> So I'm like GROOVY, I can fix this.
< Xenothaulus> * me goes to RadioShack.
< Xenothaulus> Me: Have CMOS batteries?
< Xenothaulus> Clerkgirl: I'm dumb.
< Xenothaulus> Me: ...
< Xenothaulus> * me leaves
< solios_comic> :D

[21.37.17] < Xenothaulus> check this out:
[21.37.20] < Xenothaulus> Barry stops in today
[21.37.23] < solios> !
[21.37.28] < solios> I TOLD YOU THE WORLD IS ENDING.
[21.37.32] < Xenothaulus> Barry: You're coming over on Sunday, right?
[21.37.36] < Xenothaulus> Me: ...
[21.37.41] < Xenothaulus> Barry: At noon.
[21.37.41] < solios> ?
[21.37.43] < Xenothaulus> Me: ...
[21.37.48] < Xenothaulus> Barry: And beer.
[21.37.48] < solios> ?
[21.37.51] < Xenothaulus> Me: Yes.
[21.37.55] < solios> ?!
[21.37.57] < Xenothaulus> Exuent Barry
[21.37.59] < Xenothaulus> :D
[21.38.02] < solios> !
[21.38.04] < solios> :D
[21.38.07] < solios> Barry++

[20.02.53] < Xenothaulus> !
[20.02.55] * Xenothaulus falls over
[20.04.23] < solios> ?
[20.04.31] < Xenothaulus> link

[20.05.43] < Xenothaulus> SHOULD BIDDING GO ABOVE $200.00 A SPECIAL BONUS OF ANOTHER DIESEL POWERED CHEVETTE WILL BE INCLUDED.
[20.05.44] < Xenothaulus> :D
[20.06.58] < Xenothaulus> THESE ARE TO BE PICKED UP WITHIN 10 DAYS OF CLOSE OF AUCTION, AND REMAINING PAYMENT IS DUE THEN.
[20.07.04] < Xenothaulus> CARS ARE LOCATED IN KELSO, WASHINGTON.
[20.07.08] < Xenothaulus> ROAD TRIP!!
[20.08.32] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: Who'd drive the third car?
[20.08.37] < Xenothaulus> Me: CHESTNUT!
[20.08.40] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: ...
[20.08.55] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: You really want to drive all the way out to Washington with BOTH of them in the car?
[20.09.03] < Xenothaulus> Me: We'd strap him to the roof.
[20.09.14] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: Ooh, he'd like that! He could hit the other cars with sticks.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

When dreams and reality converge, it's messy and, usually, Bad Things ensue.

I used to think that such an occurance would be ideal.

What I've discovered is this: you can not have your cake and eat it too. And the emphasis should be on your cake, as you have to bake the fucking thing yourself. Usually, it turns to shite.

Currently, I'm at the bottom of the creativity barrel; more than I have ever been before. Desire for output has never been lower. In contrast, the need for it has never been greater.

So where from here? LoC needs completio- no, it requires completion. Completion requires my attendance and attention. Attendance and attention requires concentration and dedication, things I've never been good at to begin with.

[14.37.26] < solios> Also, LOC doesn't need completion. It needs to Exist.
[14.37.40] < solios> Which isn't something it's really doing. :P

We're working on that.

Starting NOW.

The ultimate distraction.
22:49, SS Beehive, 13 May 2k3.
Oi.

Feeling blah. Here for solace of a sort- the likelihood of me doing anything stupid here is extremely low. Containment breach, higher self kicking in as a pale voice on the horizon- the voice of reason, as it were. Pull your head out of your ass and think clearly for more than five seconds. Humor the powers that be and let's pretend that's possible, shall we? Maybe it'll work like depression- fake it long enough and you eventually realize you're out of it, off and moving.

I want an easy life, but it ain't gonna happen- so far, all attempts to make it such have resulted in stagnation or distraction. It's extremely easy to get diverted from goals or things that need to be done- the recent experience with video games is proof positive, the kicker. That bit of self-indulgance that finally proves the niggling shadow of a problem as that grisly 800lb gorilla that needs to please leave, thank you.

Balance. Given the situation I'm in- relationship, technology, materials- balance is lacking. The easy path is the usual option, and not one to be indulged overlong without consequence. File under obvious and let's keep moving. I'm on the wheel. Gotta keep focused, as it were.

There's a plan formulating as to how to get out of this, and it requires effort. At this point in time, energy is at amazingly low levels and such a thing will require a seemingly titanic amount of effort- akin to quitting smoking, for example. Dethroning the idiot kings and taking my own place at the helm of whatever the fuck it is I think I'm supposed to be doing is the ultimate goal, has been, will be. Always, distraction. Linux. Media. Video games. The internet. There's only so much you can shove up your face before you start juggling- a playstation means less time online, and more time sucked up by video games. Pick it up. Can't put it down- no reason to, yo! We're out of high school here- out of the realm of the so-called Real Responsibility, on to the time in our lives where we make our own path. Twenty two hours given to Square is twenty two hours not spent on Aeon, on LOC, on anything useful. One could argue burnout.

One could also argue that burnout is a motherfucking myth, thanks. One could follow this statement with the fact that a minor slack in a noteworthy area is all it takes to start sliding down into blah, it being a long, loooong time until anyone notices anything.

Slack is as subtle as nicotine, caffeine, sugar or cocaine. You don't notice it until it's not of you- then it's everywhere. When you have it, you're blind to it. Much like vehicles- as a pedestrian, they all look alike. They all blend together. Get a car and all of a sudden, that chunk of your life is popping up everywhere. You're spotting plymouth reliants like dandilions on the lawn because you have one and you're conditioned to looking for that silhouette in parking lots. Without that conditioning or familiarity, the symbol is nothing.

Blacken my life with all such needs, blacken my life.

The thing to do would be the thing that has been done in the past- this time less tangible. Workout for status and juggernaut capacity. Blind invocation for the ejection of all such blackness, leaving the field for where the action is, using the energy as a lever. Whupping the shit out of those barriers that hold you back. The murder's upon us and we are uplifted.

Built to erase.

So we're at a baseline of less than zero, where the negative is instinct. Video games. Shuffling computers. Wanking- in action, in method, in execution. In order to build the negative must be recognized and exsorcized. Banished. If you can't stand the heat, get your ass the everloving fuck out of the desert.

If this evil force can be stopped and destroyed, then the universe will be safe.

I am the only one in authority with the power to authorize the use of nuclear weapons. There is no other, none shall stand before me. No false gods. No false distractions. Some of the obstacles have made themselves obvious through the simple truism of "if it isn't productive, if it isn't satisfying, it's shit and must be destroyed." Burnout. The will is a high caliber weapon of mass destruction- bent against itself it destroys ambition, recognition and progress in a glaze of slack with an AK-47 loaded with a magazine of false excuses- burnout, I don't feel like it, I'm sick, someone else needs to do this before I can get going with my part- on full automatic.

It looks pretty goddamned embarassing to be losing the war against self. The seige perilous is a masteful subterfuge- an infiltration and assault of the blackest order. Difficult to seige the enemy when the regiment is built out of the harmonics which connect your mind to your material existance. Line noise. Feedback. Signal loss. Losing packets. Pingout. Power fluctuations. Annoyance.

Talk talk talk. Bitch piss moan. Spell out the problem and neglect the solution- I am, after all, taking the refuge necessary to write this from a place known for exactly that. Far be it for me to expect a free ride- gotta pay lip service to the piper and output the background radiation. I am surrounded by unknowing throngs of slack. I know better, which means shit in this case since I'm in the same goddamned boat. Visceral satisfaction in the aspect that I do seem to be the only one looking for an oar.

Break for reload and a discussion of a less upscale hole-in-the-wall in ghettysburgh. Easier than attempting to ascertain the woes of my somewhat shot in the face linux system. Yet another distraction, but an apt analogy- Life, much like Linux, is a more or less functional default install and requires a prodiguous amount of tweaking and research to align the system to a useable state.

A plan has manifested. It's a dangerous one from the "how I'm going to feel tomorrow" standpoint, but it's the only thing worth doing- the only thing that occurs with that familiar burning sensation. In fact, the plan IS that familiar burning sensation. Productive self destruction. Stretch thoroughly, get moving, feel the burn. These boots were built for walking- we'll see how they handle city concrete at a much faster pace.

The idea is to purge to null. Exhaust. Burn out. You have to tear down before you can begin to build up again- simple fact of body construction. Healthy body, healthy life. The decline of physicality has brought with it the nest of ick that is the present state of affairs. If history reads that physical conditioning and productivity existed within the same time frame, then there is absolutely nothing to lose by attempting to invoke a repeat occurance of this phenomenon.

The plan, as a base, is simple. Get home. Gear up. Go out. Burn out. Return. Shower. Report back.

1318 the next day:

Went jogging. Quite a bit. Came back and did Things. By the book and on the record, recorded and annotated. Blam.

No one can touch me when I'm on the wheel.

[20.50] < solios> o_o
[20.50] < solios> O_o
[20.50] < solios> o_O
[20.50] < solios> okay.
[20.50] < solios> gimme a hand here.
[20:51] * Xenothaulus applauds
[20.51] < solios> ...
[20.51] < solios> assrabbit.
[20:51] < Xenothaulus> I know.
[20:51] < Xenothaulus> fuck
[20:51] < Xenothaulus> I just spewed beer shrapnel all over my keyboard
[20.52] < solios> mmmmm.... beer shrapnel.
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> lol
[20.52] < solios> Dualist is appropriate, damnit.
[20.52] < solios> k?
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> !k
[20.52] < solios> >:|
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> Oh
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> DuAlist
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> ...
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> !Duelist, eh?
[20.52] < solios> Yes.
[20:52] * Xenothaulus dies
[20.52] < solios> Dualist.
[20.52] < solios> It's a FUCKING PUN.
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> I notice things better when I'm !sober

[17.49] < @solios> Xenothaulus: tell everyone about Dan Hinder Kool Aid.
[17:49] < Xenothaulus> DAN HINDER KOOL-AID WILL KILL YOU.
[17:49] < Xenothaulus> That is all.

[22:03] * Xenothaulus_Tanked thinks that when you drop the next beer and it explodes, it's a definate sign.
[22.06] < debacle> Explodes?
[22.06] < debacle> A sign of what?
[22:06] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> Ex
[22:06] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> plodes
[22:06] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> A sign that mebbe you should quit while you're ahead
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> I DROPPED IT.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> A LOT
[22.07] < debacle> Or while you can walk.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> Talk to solios: I can walk. Period.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> It takes an ASSLOAD of Genny to get me drunk.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> I'm working on assload*2 right now :|
[22.07] < debacle> Hey, what you do with your beer is your business.

For further info, see Beer

And for the record, it didn't piss me off.

[20:46] * Xenothaulus_Genny grabs another Genny Ice
[20.46] < solios> Dude.
[20.46] < solios> you lost a ton of cool points right there.
[20.46] < solios> Genny is the shittiest shit they make that isn't literal shit.
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> You have no idea
[20.46] < solios> I mean, it's shit.
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> And you know I've drank Genny since the beginning
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> So has your dad
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> g00b
[20.46] < solios> Like my dad.
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> :D
[20.46] < solios> indeed.
[20.46] < solios> It's still shit.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> It was $5.75/12
[20.47] < solios> MGD is worse.
[20.47] < solios> Dude.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> Yes, yes it is.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> Genny has to grow on you.
[20.47] < solios> Jacobs Best: Worst Beer Ever.
[20.47] < solios> Also, what does the price saY?
[20.47] < solios> remember the Gunsmokes?
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> If I'm drinking just to get trashed, gotta have Genny
[20.47] < solios> < Xeno> DUDE! BUCK FIDDY SEVEN A PACK OMFG!
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> Drinking because I like it: Michelob's Amberbock or something
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> rofl
[20.47] < solios> * Xeno lights up
[20.47] < solios> * smell_of_death fills the air.
[20.47] < solios> * solios dies.
[20.47] < solios> * Xeno dies.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> * solios lights one too
[20.48] < solios> * solios dies some more.

[13.37] < solios> Blog sometihng about the fact that my net connection is about as fast as that old guy in the yellow jeep.
[13:37] < Xenothaulus> ...
[13:37] < Xenothaulus> No.

[14.49] < solios> Alvin.
[14.49] < solios> that's his name.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> ...
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> I hate you
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> I wonder if he's still around?
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> Probably is.
[14.49] < solios> No.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> I think he just lived in the jeep and drove the block.
[14.49] < solios> He's kadead.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> Excellent.
[14.49] < solios> I think he slowed down so much that time forgot about him.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> What happen, jeep run out of adsljfas;dlgjfasd;lfk
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> l;jk
[14:50] < Xenothaulus> sd
[14:50] < Xenothaulus> .
[14:50] * Xenothaulus dies
[14.51] < solios> I figured it had something to do with the Chipmunks, but I couldn't remember for the life of me.
[14:52] < Xenothaulus> ...

In regards to the track "Dark Star" by Delerium, which sounds like The Noise back home- The Noise having been explained at one time as a doppler effect of the highway running through the mountains. Why The Noise happened 24/7 in light of dead atmospheric conditions with no vehicles on the road is a matter left to the reader.

19:57 < solios> !!
19:57 < solios> Dude.
19:57 < solios> Delerium : Dark Star.
19:57 < solios> GO.
19:57 < solios> LUBB.
19:57 < solios> OMFG.
19:58 < Xenothaulus> I KEEL YOU!
19:58 < Xenothaulus> Dark Star...
19:58 * Xenothaulus mutters
19:58 < solios> No.
19:58 < solios> No movie samples.
19:58 < solios> It sounds like the Woods.
19:58 < solios> Out Back.
19:58 < Xenothaulus> ...
19:58 < solios> Near There.
19:58 * Xenothaulus mutters and GIBBERS
19:59 < solios> Dude.
19:59 < solios> It's LOC with a dash of Nosgoth.

20:16 < Xenothaulus> My computer should get some kind of award for being such an
assnugget
20:16 * solios falls over.
20:16 < Xenothaulus> I told it to play ... er... uh...
20:16 < Xenothaulus> okay dude
20:16 < Xenothaulus> NO
20:16 * Xenothaulus turns it off.
20:16 < solios> ....
20:16 < solios> what?
20:16 < Xenothaulus> Dude, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.
20:16 < solios> skip 2 minutes in.
20:17 < Xenothaulus> You fucking sick piece of shit bastard.
20:17 < Xenothaulus> No
20:17 < Xenothaulus> You don't understand.
20:17 < solios> ...
20:17 < solios> WHAT?!
20:17 < Xenothaulus> Allow me to continue my story.
20:17 < Xenothaulus> I told the HAL to play Dark Star.
20:17 < solios> k
20:17 < Xenothaulus> He promptly replied with "There is no disk in drive a:\"
20:17 < solios> Sweet.
20:18 < Xenothaulus> So I was laughing my ass off and proceeded to type to you about it
20:18 < Xenothaulus> Then it went ahead and played anyway
20:18 < solios> so what's wrong with that?
20:18 < Xenothaulus> ...
20:18 < Xenothaulus> I honestly think it triggered some kind of flashback or something.

Naturally, it's suggested anyone with a taste for ambient music who wants a well-produced facsimile of The Noise should track down the song. The album is "Faces, Forms and Illusions", which is altogether too fitting.

More on The Noise some other time. Maybe along with The Lights. And The Smell.

o_O

No, really. Dreams persist, though nothing as interesting as the Six String Moonrise from last week. :P The weather is right, the stellar conditions are right, and I have a few illustrations I'd like to do. I was talking with my coworker about video games, and brought up some of the concepts for an LOC video game. It's basically a cross between Metroid, Bionic Commando and Secret of Mana. Area map, which you would move around on in the Hoopdi, with possible random encounters of smacking a deer, getting pulled over, random breakdown, or- if Xeno is driving- getting Lost.

Getting Lost is fun.

So there'd be umpty locations on the map, and you would move between them in the Hoopdi, which is this nasty green slab of steel that has the speed of a rocket and the maneuverability of a slug on mescaline. You'd keep all your gear in the trunk and in backpacks, and there'd be at least two people in the vehicle. If one goes into the area, the other would stick around to pull the assrabbit who just blew up a few trashcans out of the McDonalds parking lot. If both go in, they'd be controlled by two players or the second would be run by a non-fucktardish AI. The BC and Metroid elements come in in terms of having a character with flexible equipment, with certain kinds of gear being required to clear certain areas, accomplish certain objectives, or get other kinds of gear. Need lockpicks, but you brought the Scotch? Back to the car to regear.

Ultimately, the game would be an action RPG with River City Ransom elements on top of the Bionic Commando and Metroid weapons and equipment management- everyone in town thinks you're an asshat and you can beat them up and take their guns, lunch money, truck and dog. Hey, it's the country- which means you stand more of a chance of being shot in the woods by a local than you do one of those Nasty Things running around. There'd also be an RPG element of skills that increase over time/practice, and people in the setting that could teach said skills- my real life male parental unit would be an invaluable influence as a fictionalized personae in-game, as he's a gunsmith, mechanic, farmer and has excellent working knowledge of camauflage, electronics and stealth techniques.

I rather like the idea, but I rather lack programming skills. I'm also a hundred percept power PC in the hardware department, minus my PS1 and NES. There's more than enough territory in North Central to make for a great game map area, and more than enough happenings in the plotline to make for a good action RPG. Sprite based, of course. It's more a matter of engine development and actually commit to it as something that's doable, which is a slightly different matter. Games take an assload of time to create, test, iron out, and so forth.

Still. Something I'll probably be taking notes on in the near future.

LOC is a bloglike object with some eventual intent to serve as a ground for... well, something. Xeno and I went through Bad Things in the middle late 90s, and the two of us decided that since our autobiographies would be considered fictional to begin with, we might as well throw the boring bits out the window and spice this shit up a bit. LOC is really two different projects- there's how he sees it, and how I see it. I'm pretty interested in keeping true to form- namely seeing as how the apparatus I created to explain the whole thing in a fictional sense is something I now know intimately. Fucking weird when you show up for a party and meet the cast of your novel.

Given this, along with the fact that Xeno is living in a different part of BFE than the icky part that we grew up in, and the fact I've been living in urbania for the last six years gives us some amazingly different perceptions of what's going down. I fully expect to piss him off with output, though there's an active effort on my part to put a different spin on the timeframe, rather than trying to percieve it with the eyes I possessed at the time. They were decidedly grumpy eyes, they were- full of hate and suck and enough angst to make Trent shit his pants and run away wimpering.

I'm too fucking goth for the goth scene, thanks. Fortunately I consoled myself with heavy metal and taking it out on my high school, which seems to have worked out for the best.

You'd think pontificating about a dark, black, nasty time would mean I'm a dark, black, nasty person. This is wrong- I'm an equal opportunity mysanthrope and very rarely waste energy on bitching about everyone else and how much they suck. My perspective has changed.

Likewise, one might think that a title such as "Lords of Chaos" would be indicative of said concept- disorder and entropy. In one way, this is correct- there's no formula to the output at this point in time. At one point there was, but meeting the cast of a fictionalized life has a tendency to change ones priorities around a bit. LOC is the original title for the concept, forged way, waaaaaaay back in the summer of 96, when I was scribbling notes trying to get to sleep, hoping to hell the Thing Outside The Door would just shut up and go away. Made sense at the time, and it's stuck around for lack of anything better- perhaps the only bit of consistency the project has.

The idea here is to catalogue and display a past struggle towards Order or Sanity, depending on the perceptions of the reader. The idea being maybe someone will get something of use out of it. Maybe one of the two of us that are working on it whenever we feel like it. Maybe someone else. Who knows.

In any case.

Xenothaulus: Okay, slightly gauche topic, perhaps, but who here has seen Rose Red or read the diary?

lady_lynn_2000: i havent seen it
lady_lynn_2000: why have you ?

Xenothaulus: Twice.

lady_lynn_2000: i heard it was so scarey

Xenothaulus: Depends on how you take it.

Toni: rose red?

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: very scary

Xenothaulus: I tended to cheer for the house a bit.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: but cool

Toni: post the site
Toni: ive never heard of red rose, what or who is it/

lady_lynn_2000: have any of you ever seen a ghost or demon ?

Xenothaulus: Red Rose is a foul, cheap, nasty-tasting wine that winos are particular to.
Xenothaulus: Rose Red, on the other hand, is a mini-series that ran on ABC about a house gone mad.

Toni: mmmmkay

lady_lynn_2000: so has anyone seen any ghost ?

Xenothaulus: lady_lynn_2000: I imagine most of us in here have or want too, elsewise we wouldn't be here.
Xenothaulus: I have, yes.

lady_lynn_2000: i didnt ask if you wanted to , i ask have you
lady_lynn_2000: so tell us about it

Toni: ive heard strange sounds, and seen shadowy figures

ahscrewit: i have

Crow: hey all

lady_lynn_2000: i havent seen any , but i feel them

Toni: but never a full length ghost figure

lady_lynn_2000: geuss thats what they call shadow people
lady_lynn_2000: same as ghost tho right ?

ahscrewit: i have toni

Toni: ive seen plenty of pics of them though

ahscrewit: less than a week ago
ahscrewit: a boy it looked like
ahscrewit: scared the hell out of me

lady_lynn_2000: wow tell us about it

ahscrewit: got a strong feeling that i wasnt liked very much

Xenothaulus: Toni: Please keep in mind that photos can be doctored way to
easily to be taken as fact.

Toni: they cant hurt you really
Toni: id ask it what it wants

ahscrewit: let me decide that

lady_lynn_2000: but they can make us hurt ourselves lol

ahscrewit: cuts and scratches are better

Xenothaulus: They can if they scare you with LOUD NOISES AND UGLY
PICTURES!!!

zippy_agonistes: hi

Toni: lol

ahscrewit: staring you down

Toni: get over it dude

ahscrewit: and cold rushes

Xenothaulus: lol

Toni: you wuss
Toni: lol

ahscrewit: man cold chills suck

Xenothaulus : The Reluctant Ghostbuster

Toni: ask what it wants

lady_lynn_2000: what did the boy do

goldcanyoncandlelady: hi yall

zippy_agonistes: hello

ahscrewit: he just liked stood there
ahscrewit: was out of nowhere there

goldcanyoncandlelady: hi zippy

zippy_agonistes: hi

lady_lynn_2000: eeeeeek

ahscrewit: he moved his arm
ahscrewit: but i didnt wait around
ahscrewit: i turned around

lady_lynn_2000: lol

ahscrewit: and ran across an acre of open field

goldcanyoncandlelady: was this in ur house?

lady_lynn_2000: i wouldnt eather IF I COULD MOVE

ahscrewit: i ran on adrenaline
ahscrewit: never ran so fast in my life

Toni: but alot of time if they show themselves, they want you to help them or communicate

ahscrewit: but they could have picked something a little more pleasant
ahscrewit: than a black thing

goldcanyoncandlelady: someone explain this one

ahscrewit: and atleast made me feel welcome

goldcanyoncandlelady: my grandpa died in feb

lady_lynn_2000: well i heard they r no good ghost

ahscrewit: instead of unwanted and stuff

Toni: they cant pick how they appear to you

goldcanyoncandlelady: i needed the number to funeral home

ahscrewit: there is lynn

goldcanyoncandlelady: so i tried info it didnt work

ahscrewit: my grandmother

goldcanyoncandlelady: so i was gonna call a random number in phone book
goldcanyoncandlelady: i dialed 683-2212
goldcanyoncandlelady: it was the funeral home

Toni: just to materialize period is hard for them

zippy_agonistes: neat gccl

goldcanyoncandlelady: ive never dialed that number b4

Xenothaulus: goldcanyoncandlelady:
Xenothaulus: Two explanations

goldcanyoncandlelady: k

Xenothaulus: One: Guided hand and all that rot.

goldcanyoncandlelady: ok

ahscrewit: 1 you were high when you already memorized the nubmer but was so
high you forgot it

Xenothaulus: Two: You'd seen the number on some piece of paraphernalia and it was in your subconscious.

ahscrewit: and rememberd it from your subconcious

goldcanyoncandlelady: i dont do drugs

ahscrewit: lol
ahscrewit: its a joke

Toni: dont be an ass

Xenothaulus: Choose whichever one makes you feel better.

goldcanyoncandlelady: alrighty then

zippy_agonistes: or zillion-to-one coincidence which popular fiction would have us
believe CAN NEVER MISS

ahscrewit: i'm not
ahscrewit: just jokin

goldcanyoncandlelady: i know its a joke
goldcanyoncandlelady: :P

Toni: lol

lady_lynn_2000: well i was told they can apear as anyone ,but they r demons, and can look like anyone so you feel calm and trusting

ahscrewit: =)

zippy_agonistes: maybe you were just really in tune, gold

ahscrewit: well

goldcanyoncandlelady: maybe

ahscrewit: i am only trusting of one
ahscrewit: others i dont know
ahscrewit: when i was a kid
ahscrewit: i was always leerie of riding past the driveby shooting spot

Xenothaulus: Isn't it amasing the ridiculous lengths some people will go to to explain something "rationally" when a very simple, yet supernatural, answer is staring them in the face?

ahscrewit: which is like 300ft from my home

Xenothaulus: Par example: A doorbell rings.
Xenothaulus: 6 times.

goldcanyoncandlelady: ok

zippy_agonistes: yes xeno it is.

Xenothaulus: Occam's Razor says it's a supernatural event.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Hey!

Xenothaulus: Science says someone drove by with a garage opener.
Xenothaulus: Which set off the remote doorbeel.
Xenothaulus: s/doorbeel/doorbell
Xenothaulus: Six times.
Xenothaulus: In a row.

ahscrewit: there is the third option
ahscrewit: reality

Xenothaulus: Sorry dear.

zippy_agonistes: yeah science can be a dork sometimes...

Xenothaulus: That's been bugging me for a while.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: lol

Xenothaulus: ahscrewit: "Reality" please

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: it was the jumpers

goldcanyoncandlelady: let it all out xeno

ahscrewit: an impatient sob

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: I changed them

ahscrewit: yes xeno

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: only happened once since

Xenothaulus: "Reality" is the only word in the language that should always be used in quotes.

goldcanyoncandlelady: so whats ur story xeno?
goldcanyoncandlelady: ghosts??

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Not Ghosts

lady_lynn_2000: sounds like xeno dosent beleave in ghost

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Mother

Xenothaulus: Mum

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: mmhmm

coma_rain: "reality" alone is such a contraversial word.....any thing could be reality, yet people always argue that reality is something thats like normal.... but whats normal?

goldcanyoncandlelady: ahhh

Xenothaulus: My story is... lol.

goldcanyoncandlelady: ive had a few cold spots
goldcanyoncandlelady: shadowy figures

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: and since my mother happens to be dead, I guess it would be a ghost

ahscrewit: normal is the stuff groups are made of

zippy_agonistes: i have no experience of normal

goldcanyoncandlelady: my bf's wife killed herself in this house

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: go head C, you can tell them, I don't mind

Xenothaulus: It's your story dear.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: still talking to Mark
Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: about Mum actually
Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: so you go head

Xenothaulus: You can tell them later then

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: goddamnit
Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: you tell them

lady_lynn_2000: well gold tell us

goldcanyoncandlelady: thats about it

Xenothaulus: As for my encounters with the other side, I'll just say I've had enough of them. Enough that I prefer not to anymore.

goldcanyoncandlelady: nothin too strange

zippy_agonistes: as archy the cockroach used to say, "you wouldnt believe in ghosts either if you'd met as many of them as i have"

lady_lynn_2000: i have had th eones who do things ,but you dont see them
lady_lynn_2000: lol zippy

zippy_agonistes: i think over all i'

Xenothaulus: I've seen what you would term spirits, ghosts.

zippy_agonistes: d rather see them

lady_lynn_2000: poltergiste , how ever ya spell it

Xenothaulus: I've seen psychic echoes.
Xenothaulus: I've been attacked.

coma_rain: u know what i figured out, that like there's enough information out there to equally feed one's beliefs, just like i belive in ghost well things have happend to me that makes me know they exsist, and the people who dont believe in them, like theyre life and expirences prove them right, so really theres no right or wrong in one's belief's, but even that has its limits.....

goldcanyoncandlelady: woa

Xenothaulus: I've walked into rooms where I know people have died.

Toni: http://www.spiritualists.org/realghostpictures/ghostpics.htm

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: and you get pinched on the butt

Xenothaulus: :D
Xenothaulus: And I got pinched on the butt!

zippy_agonistes: naughty ghosts

Xenothaulus: I've been to the other side.
Xenothaulus: On purpose once.

ahscrewit: astral projection
ahscrewit: ?

Xenothaulus: I've projected.

lady_lynn_2000: what !!! tell us about it then xeno
lady_lynn_2000: what side
lady_lynn_2000: up or down lol

Xenothaulus: I've participated in "séances."

Toni: but i didnt realized who or what it was till i wole up and peiced it together
goldcanyoncandlelady: dont even wanna mess with that

ahscrewit: astral or ethereal?

Xenothaulus: I've acted as a medium.
Xenothaulus: I've channeled.

Toni: astral

ahscrewit: i want to do an ethereal projection

zippy_agonistes: is the grass really greener over there?

lady_lynn_2000: lol

ahscrewit: but i dont want to leave my body open

Toni: its different

Xenothaulus: zippy: It is NOT.

Toni: you can be anywhere in a blink

zippy_agonistes: just kidding

Toni: its hard for me to get control of though

lady_lynn_2000: what did you see there

Toni: like dreaming perhaps

Xenothaulus: I've attacked.
Xenothaulus: I've attempted exorcism.

ahscrewit: it is

Toni: i see anything

Xenothaulus: I've been possessed.

ahscrewit: astral and ethereal are diff planes
ahscrewit: xeno

Toni: mostly im in homes talking to people ive never met before

zippy_agonistes: tell us about your experience of other side. always intrested in comparing notes

ahscrewit: its not a good idea

Xenothaulus: I've Travelled.

ahscrewit: to even THINK about trying exorcism

Xenothaulus: I've Blinked.
Xenothaulus: I've Popped.

ahscrewit: how were you attacked and possessed?

Toni: and they have me solve issues

lady_lynn_2000: xeno tell us about your possession

Toni: im not sure about that

Xenothaulus: Okay.

goldcanyoncandlelady: i like stories

Xenothaulus: But bare with me, it's a long time since I've thought about it.

Toni: http://www.ukghost.com/

lady_lynn_2000: is this a true story

Xenothaulus: Pine woods.
Xenothaulus: Yes lady_lynn_2000
Xenothaulus: All my stories are true until I prove otherwise.

Toni: http://www.ukghost.com/ghostpicture_ghostskeleton.htm

Xenothaulus: Ramshackle cabin
Xenothaulus: Moon was at half phase

lady_lynn_2000: how old were you then ?

Xenothaulus: approx time was 0200

Index Case: this room is finally back

Xenothaulus: 19.5

Index Case: this room is great

lady_lynn_2000: what 19;5?

Toni: yea i like ghost chats

Xenothaulus: The grass, freshly mowed, was wet with dew.

goldcanyoncandlelady: hi index

Index Case: hella gold

Xenothaulus: My mentor cum father cum lover and I went to lay in the grass and Ground.

Toni: i think xen has flipped out
Toni: lol

Index Case: sounds like a porn

Xenothaulus: We both fell asleep.

Index Case: lots of cum

Xenothaulus: It does, doesn't it?

lady_lynn_2000: that sounds sick

Toni: sounds like he needs zanax

Xenothaulus: However, it's Latin.
Xenothaulus: Pay attention.

zippy_agonistes: lol

Xenothaulus: Woke up about 30 minutes later, give or take.
Xenothaulus: I felt strange.

lady_lynn_2000: you said the moon was out then you said grass had due

Xenothaulus: Yes, I said the moon was at half-phase and the grass was wet with dew.
Xenothaulus: I also said the time was 0200.

lady_lynn_2000: oh ok

Xenothaulus: If you'd scroll up, I'd not have to repeat myself.

Index Case: 2 am?

Xenothaulus: ...
Xenothaulus: Yes.
Xenothaulus: We went into the cabin.

Index Case: eastern or pacific time

Xenothaulus: We were a bit chilled, so D lit a fire.

goldcanyoncandlelady: ok

Xenothaulus: It doesn't matter, it was 2.
Xenothaulus: I went to the cabinet to pour myself a Scotch.

Index Case: mmkay procede

Toni: http://www.ukghost.com/ghostpicture_castleghost.htm

Xenothaulus: Lying on the cabinet marble was a paring knife.
Xenothaulus: I picked it up.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Eastern Index

Index Case: toni are you a bot?

Xenothaulus: Looked at it.

Index Case: thanx kasha

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: not a problem

Xenothaulus: Cut my thumb and rubbed the blood on the blade.

lady_lynn_2000: ouch

Xenothaulus: And decided that D needed to die.

goldcanyoncandlelady: oh my

Xenothaulus: So I called him over.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: D? The D I know?

Xenothaulus: Now, do understand that D was 6' 2" and weighed approximately 400 lbs
Xenothaulus: No dear.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: oh ok

Toni: no im not a bot

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: THAT D

Toni: im showing kewl ghost pics

Index Case: D as in the singer from Black flag's girlfriend?

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: *rolls eyes*

Xenothaulus: And he knew.

Toni: thats what this room is about

Index Case: D is a fat ass

Xenothaulus: Yes, he was.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha:

Xenothaulus: He came over, took the blade.

Index Case: arnt you worried about aids

Xenothaulus: So I leapt on him and hit him and bit him until I was exhausted.
Xenothaulus: And then finally had my will back and cried until morning.
Xenothaulus: You see, I had no control over my actions.

Toni: http://www.ukghost.com/ghostpicture_excalibur.htm

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: orientwolfe: where is port clinton at?

Xenothaulus: It was like watching myself through the cabin window.

lady_lynn_2000: and then ?

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Um, Ohio

Index Case: thats the most beutiful lie

Toni: lol

Xenothaulus: Thank you Index Case.
Xenothaulus: I'm rather partial to it.

Index Case: im singin

Toni: yeah someone forgot this isnt a rpg room

Index Case: my song

Xenothaulus: Do remember, I did not volunteer, you asked.

zippy_agonistes: not to throw cold water or anything but what makes you think this was possession as opposed to say, a brief episode of psychosis

Index Case: i didnt ask
Index Case: or drugs?

Xenothaulus: No where did I say this was possession.
Xenothaulus: I said I've been possessed.

Toni: http://www.ukghost.com/ghostpicture_tomb.htm

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Because he didn't do drugs

Xenothaulus: You meaning the room, Index. Not you in particular.

Index Case: i didnt think people who got possessed knew they got possessed

Toni: maybe he/she has bi polar disorder

lady_lynn_2000: true

Xenothaulus: Maybe I do.
Xenothaulus: You make of it what you will.
Xenothaulus: I'll tell you one other thing about it.

Index Case: so did you kill D?

lady_lynn_2000: and they stay that way until they get excersised

Toni: alot of people with that prob has brief periods of dreaming while awake

Xenothaulus: Which is going to completely destroy my credibility.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: I can say for certain that he DOESN'T

Index Case: too late

Xenothaulus: :)

Toni: lol index

lady_lynn_2000: lol

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: you're laughing why?

Xenothaulus: The next morning when I showered, I discovered that my hair, ears and nose were full of grass clippings.

lady_lynn_2000: yeah what did this mean

Toni: um pay attention

Index Case: maybe you mowed the lawn in your sleep?

Toni: lol

Xenothaulus: D decided I was possessed by the spirit of the grass and it wanted to kill him for mowing it.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: you're the guys asking him to share his stories, what is it a sick game, open up, tell us your stories so we can make you feel like shit for my own personal gain?

Xenothaulus: Kasha dear, it's okay.

goldcanyoncandlelady: spirit of the grass?????????

Xenothaulus: I'm not offended.
Xenothaulus: Spirit of the grass.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: No its not at all

Index Case: sounds like drugs

lady_lynn_2000: speirti of the grass LMAO
lady_lynn_2000: omg

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: its pathetic and childish

lady_lynn_2000: lol

Xenothaulus: It does, now that I've actually told it again.

Index Case: spirit of my ass

zippy_agonistes: lol

Xenothaulus: But I assure you, it wasn't.

goldcanyoncandlelady: i knew nature had spirits but i didnt know the grass did

Xenothaulus: As for Spirit of the Grass, frankly, I find that ludicrous too.

Toni: kasha you could end up on ignore

Xenothaulus: So maybe you're all listening to a closet psychopath.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: Grass is nature you idiot

Index Case: so how about a real ghost story

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: So I look like I care?
Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: I'm defending a friend

Xenothaulus: Toni: If it makes any difference, she goes on ignore, I go.

Toni: well, one time i was messing with a ouija board

Xenothaulus: Period.

goldcanyoncandlelady: im an idiot

Xenothaulus: She's merely stating her opinion, same as everyone else here.

zippy_agonistes: dont mean to belittle the experience but it doesnt particularly sound like posession to me. but who knows. maybe it was the spirit of richard brautigan, acting out The Revenge Of The Lawn.

Xenothaulus: !
Xenothaulus: rofl

goldcanyoncandlelady: NOTTTT

Toni: and while my friends and i were asking it questions, my cat jumps up on the table, and lays beside it

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: you guys want to make fun of a close friend of mine thats fine, but I won't stand for it \

ahscrewit: http://www.psychics.co.uk/realghostpictures/weird_television.html

Index Case: aaahh quija boards

Xenothaulus: Honey, it's okay.

Index Case: those are freaky
Index Case: go on

Xenothaulus: In the kingdom of the blind, the one-eyed man is king.

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: fine, I'm shutting up

lady_lynn_2000: maybe the cat was out in the grass
lady_lynn_2000: lol

goldcanyoncandlelady: ouija boards are weird

lady_lynn_2000: yes they are weird

Index Case: yea they freak me out

Toni: well, we were watching the planchette, and my kitty lays right beside the board, because he was in love with me, and had to be near me, he was a big baby
Toni: and the planchette rubbed up against my cat, as if it were petting it
Toni: i freaked out

Index Case: strange

Toni: yea, theres more to that story thats weird

Index Case: one time a quija board told me n my friends it was god
to_shallow_for_yah00: wow

Toni: tell ya what i will never mess with a ouija board again

goldcanyoncandlelady: weird

Toni: the board said it was my sister in a previous life
Toni: and that out father in that life burned us down in a house on purpose

Kasha_just_plain_ole_Kasha: could've been the wind or static

Toni: because he didnt like the men we were betrothed to

Index Case: betrothed????

Toni: engaged

Index Case: ok

Toni: it spelled out betrothed

Index Case: i still wouldnt know what it meant

Toni: i have it all written down in a journal stil;l
Toni: oh, i looked it up
Toni: it spoke/spelled as if it were from another time

Index Case: i c

goldcanyoncandlelady: interesting

Toni: but it liked my cat, lol

Transcribed from a notebook:

~130, 54c (fri)

Likely influenced by Red Elvises / remembering Six String Samurai. Xeno and I at my parents place outside- we're both in black suits, he has blonde hair. K. and kids, all wearing black [suits]. We walk up the driveway and go to turn [left]- Xeno basically sends the family in that direction, and points [right]. I'm all "?" and he responds, "So we can look UP, yo."

I look up, and the sky is filled with moons! All crescent, comment of strange eclipse or solar conditions, and gaze at the spectacle. [Filling the sky, southern hemisphere spreading across the middle 90 degrees between east and west]. There are a ton of them, all mid horizon. We're both "Dude!" and think it's schw33t as hell. We walk in the direction of [Kendrick's] house, in the reverse of our usual position- I'm on left, Xeno on right. We're walking w/ our respective off hands held high in the air [in the devil / metal sign ], bopping along. Light cigarettes near the barn [which looks as if it has been severely washed out by a flood- at this point only the dream is in third person perspective. My ponytail is shorter and in better condition, Xeno has spiky blonde hair like an Anime character. Both of us are cleanshaven- easy way to tell it's a dream.]

[Kendrick's] house is unusually verdant [technicolor spring]- we're giggling like kids as we walk down- he has a practice katana and is wearing a white suit [looks like colonel sanders, only young]. Birds, heavy pollen, a couple of kids running around [in black suits]. Me- "[Kendrick!]" as he approaches. Then, "Lord Kendrick!" (shake hands) "Have you looked up today?"- [Kendrick] does, looks about and says "Yes. It is nifty." and smiles.

Then the alarm goes off.

Something like this, only much, much cooler.

==

The suits in question were your typical Resevoir Dogs getup- black jacket, black slacks, white shirt. Neither of us was wearing a tie- neither was Kendrick. Everyone else had a black tie and nondescript features, beyond being optical filler in the dream. Xeno and I totally rocked the fuck out, like it was a major holiday and we were having a blast, just like old times. Or something.

The moons are a definite spinoff of The Time Machine- the recent remake- only were definitely planets, not debris. The movie had come up on IRC earlier in the week. I have often imagined a large ringed planet or sequence of smaller planets in the sky above Tioga county- there's so much empty space to fill, and at certain vantages (namely the long stretch before the turn of DeCoursey Road), the sunset is gorgeous, often setting HUGE.

Fun stuff.

The following is a comment to this piece on deviantart. Yeah, it's long. I've had a few years to think about this.

==

Like the image, though to be honest, the text in the description is quite thought provoking.

I'm 23. In my teen years and in my early 20s, suicide was practically a hobby. The concept was considered or "felt" as a useable and valid option on more than one occasion, and the tendencies towards expressing this become markedly increased after a non consentual homosexual encounter. I attempted once, using the remainder of a bottle of high-octane painkillers and half of a bottle of liquor. The fact that I got the most restful night of sleep in my life and woke up feeling physically normal for the first time in years as a direct result gave me pause for thought (please not that I REALLY DO NOT RECOMMEND ANYONE TRY THIS- I was LUCKY!).

From my reading and experience on the subject, I can venture the following.

The slashed wrists seem to almost invariably indicitive of wanting attention, being in a state of intense emotional distress, or a possible combination of the two- family and home situations need to be taken into consideration. Slashing across the wrist is inefficient- easily treated and easily surviveable with a nasty scar that makes the intent obvious. A real arm bleedout is done in a deep incision between the tendons on the underside of the forearm (where they connect to the wrist) and is a cut that runs from the base of the wrist to the elbow. Doing this, one has barely enough time to get the second arm before passing out from blood loss. It's messy, and almost 100% effective. It's not an "Attempted" suicide by any stretch- part of the psychology you describe is a need or desire to be found near death and brought out of it- the urge to know that someone values you enough to actually save your life. Hence the most popular routes of shortwise slashing of the wrists and the pills and alcohol trick- the second can work in extreme cases (eg, say a bottle of Hydrocone chased with a bottle of Jaegermeister), but will inevitably make you incredibly weak, light headed, and sick as a dog- a situation in which you'll probably actually wish you were dead, but are anything but.

Guns, jumping in front of cars, and taking a fall are different means of exit which, while used in popular entertainment, don't seem to be terribly common. Likely because these methods are used by people who are truly serious about what they're doing, and have thought it out at great length.

Contemplating suicide is definitely different than being suicidal- I'm not suicidal (though some would debate this, given my lifestyle), so I can't speak on the mindset... but I can say that they're a completely different class of mentality, and being so depressed in high school that I lost any kind of concept of value for my life was one thing that set me apart from my tormentors- come ninth grade, I took everything they threw at me without flinching or reacting- at one point walking into my english class with a 2" diameter gash in my kneecap from gym class, soaking my sock and sneaker red. I remained aloof and distanced from the fact I was bleeding until the teacher for the class sent me to the nurses office to get cleaned up- I didn't care, and I wasn't about to let my tormentors get the reaction they wanted, which was to see me freak and get pissed about being pushed down a hill.

How you're treated in high school can definitely influence this thought process. There is an excellent essay that details the psychological heirarchy of public education, from which these feelings and tendencies seem to inevitably arise located here - I strongly suggest that anyone curious about the subject of suicide should give this a read, as the subject seems to be the most "trendy", for lack of a better term, in high school.

As for treatment options... as implied above, there's a vast difference between the serious and the confused. In my own case, the weight of negative emotions- incessant social torment through high school, the concept repeatedly shoved up my nose that popularity mattered and I didn't- followed by being raped- was a hell of a lot of crap to try to work through and carry around. I found my own solutions without resorting to therapy or drugs, which are things I refuse to consider, as the affects of pyschotropics on the creative process aren't something I'm willing to experience first hand.

The important thing for anyone who has contemplated suicide to realize is that it's the easy way out. The options from there are to just live with it, or to treat the source of the problem- not the problem itself. Treat the source and the urge dissipates. The benefits of having conquered these urges and overwhelming negative tendencies will make you a much stronger person, with a much higher tolerance and understanding of the negative shit that people go through.

Treating or helping someone who is contemplating suicide- meaning trying to keep them from accomplishing the act- is a varied process that can be incredibly draining. The one simple rule is to just be there for the person, keep them engaged in conversation (about anything but Why My Life Sucks) and get them to talk about things they like- this can get awkward with members of the opposite sex, as the person may possibly develope an emotional attachment, but it's still sound advice- those in that mindset can be slowly brought out of it by restoring their concept of self worth and endowing them with an understanding that their presence in your life and the lives of others is appreciated, valued and wanted. It's not an overnight cure or an instant solution, but a little of the right kind of attention will go a long way compared to a lot of the wrong kind.

Ultimately, it's up to that person to snap themselves out of it- they have to want out of that mindset... which is possibly the hardest hurdle to cross. After that, it's a matter of time and building enough positive life experience.

Hope this helps.

-DH

I didn't write this, but that doesn't make the contents of said essay less relevant. The described mentality of the "popular" would go greatdistance to explaining behavioural motivations in OS and religious zealots, not just high school kids.

As for the postulates in the author's timeline... well, ninth grade was when my septum was forcibly deviated by the class bully. I didn't have a home computer or regular access to computing resources, so it's no wonder I was big into video games (Nintendo and SNES), tabletop gaming, and other assorted forms of escapism.

In the long run, the ethics become a bit more obvious- a lot of the "popular kids" from high school are wasting their lives in minimum wage jobs, already have kids, or are generally living the sorts of lives that leave them with the dim realization that the best is over and done with. Corroborating this, the allegedly "most popular kid in the class" later attempted suicide in college- largely in part due to the percieved isolation. Local conjecture was that he coulnd't handle being nobody.

Teenagers now are useless, except as cheap labor in industries like fast food, which evolved to exploit precisely this fact. In almost any other kind of work, they'd be a net loss. But they're also too young to be left unsupervised. Someone has to watch over them, and the most efficient way to do this is to collect them together in one place. Then a few adults can watch all of them.
If you stop there, what you're describing is literally a prison, albeit a part-time one. The problem is, many schools practically do stop there. The stated purpose of schools is to educate the kids. But there is no external pressure to do this well. And so most schools do such a bad job of teaching that the kids don't really take it seriously-- not even the smart kids. Much of the time we were all, students and teachers both, just going through the motions.

This is, for me, a lot of the underlying foundation of what LOC basically is. Everything else I've worked towards plotting deals largely with political stinkiness I've been exposed to since leaving high school, based on the escapist concepts put forth during the time I was there. However, my experience seems to be slightly aberrant from that of the average man, having managed to pull a Punk Rock "FUCK YOU ALL! I WIN!!!" victory out of what had, until my senior year, been a very annoying losing proposition. A lot of the skills and perceptions were nothing more than hunches, operating as a basic notion of "this is how it could/should" work in a social situation- playing the field like you'd play a chess board, so to speak, with it being overtly clear to the players that I wouldn't piss on their teeth if their gums were on fire. The heirarchial social system as described in the essay linked above had put me at the bottom, and I'd be damned if I was going to assent to their "system" without kicking, screaming, and taking as many of them down with me as I could.

In the end, I won by skipping around it, so to speak. Cut out the middle ground of the popular kids and became friends and associates with anyone worth talking to- which happened to be one or two of the "cool kids", several of the "nerds", and most importantly, several of the teachers and the administrative structure. Not out of any real desire to bend the machine so much as out of a real, solid desire to use my time efficiently and spend it with people who were interesting enough to merit it. And you're not going to get that in a group of 17 year old basketball players.

Favoring noblesse oblige over Victorian courtroom antics that were outmoded when the Pyramids were on the drafting tables is one thing- the strugle to actually live by that decision when your lot in it is mandatory serfdome with the great unwashed of adolescence is quite another- a mix of distraction in the school network, gaming, reading and sponging up anything of structure and depth against the seething anger and dissent at being distracted from my enjoyment of these "distractions" by a bunch of shitheads who likely have yet to learn that interest and value are relative things, not absolutes to be dictated by a minority of running-in-place conformists.

The mentality isn't unique, but in a resources-restricted situation in which anyone of a similar mindset is either of the "keep your head down and don't cause problems" mindset or not even close to intellectual peerdom, it seems such. Consequently, the perception becomes, after a fashion, self-propelling. Mobbed by an army of venemous sheep, what are your options?

Simple. Figure out what you're good at and elliminate anything that gets in your way. Do it a few times and you get some measure of privacy. Take to the command structure and shift your peer group, cutting out the middle- nobody fucks with you when the guy that runs your AD&D game is the high school vice principal. Readjust the situation and take control of your environment- bend the rules by proof of skill, talent, and if anything, dedication and intelligence by having the guts to ask, rather than conform and take the schedule they've shoved down your throat.

The message of LOC is one of forcing the world to adapt to you by changing how you're forced to adapt to the world. Society isn't going away- but the means with which it treats us in our formative years is, fortunately, temporary. The system is a weak lattice of fecal matter, but brute strength will leave you trapped inside of it- on the fly adjustment of perceptions, goals, and execution got me through the whole mess... not to mention the eventual realization that the high school heirarchy of governmentally mandated babysitting and all that comes with it is an obstacle, not the enemy.

I fought the system. And I fucking won, by figuring out how to use it, rather than taking it as it was forced on me. I beat the machine for my own goals- and much like the next stage of education, the Art Institute... it's not the institution, the system, or the heirarchy- you're not going to get anywhere unless you start bending the structure to build your path in the direction you intend to go.

The system is a tool to be used. It just so happens to be populated by a bunch of tools who are conditioned to see using you as part of the natural order of things. If you just keep your head down, try to conform, and wait for it to end, you're doing it wrong.

02:07 < Xenothaulus> I've a somen vow that I'll never touch ramen again
02:07 < necKro> You don't eat macs.
02:07 * solios CAN die happy.
02:07 <@solios> holee shit.
02:07 < Xenothaulus> s/somen/solemn
02:08 < necKro> I was getting pretty sick of chicken mushroom flavor ramen
until I discovered the curry.
02:08 < Xenothaulus> I had nothing to eat but ramen from black friday '96 til
xmas eve '96
02:08 < Xenothaulus> NOTHING
02:08 < necKro> xeno: I wasn't too keen on ramen again either, but give me $40
to live a week and a half on, plus drinking, and it's the
economical choice.
02:08 < Xenothaulus> I'll never touch it again
02:09 < necKro> I'm probably going to blow nearly half of it tomorrow night
with esch and rez.
02:09 < Xenothaulus> also, from Halloween '96 til Thanksgiving '96, I had 1/2
roast beef sub, 20 hot dogs and water
02:09 < Xenothaulus> teh DeVry kicked my ass
02:09 < necKro> a hot dog a day?
02:09 < Xenothaulus> less actually, but close enough
02:10 < necKro> You could have at least made a lame costume and gotten
Halloween candy.
02:10 < Xenothaulus> it averaged out because one day I managed to steal 2 when
the kmart person wasn't looking
02:10 < Xenothaulus> ...
02:10 < necKro> Razorblade caramel apples.
02:11 < Xenothaulus> I would've gladly picked out the razor blades
02:11 < necKro> Why? They add much-needed iron to your diet.
02:11 < necKro> You don't want to become anemic.
02:11 < Xenothaulus> If you've never been starving, and I mean your body eating
itself starving, you won't understand
02:11 < Xenothaulus> I lost 30 pounds
02:11 < necKro> Eeep.

02:11 < Xenothaulus> yep
02:12 < Xenothaulus> like you said, almost a hotdog/day, and I had to walk
almost a mile to snatch them
02:12 < Xenothaulus> oh, and coffee in the morning whenever I could sneak into
the staff room
02:13 < Xenothaulus> looking back on it, it's not even sad, just fucking stupid
02:13 < Xenothaulus> I should've left after the first week
02:13 < Xenothaulus> hell, should've left right away
02:13 < necKro> I'm cold and my right foot hurts like a motherfucker because
the circulation got cut off. I've hit rock bottom.
02:13 < necKro> Left where?
02:13 < Xenothaulus> DeVry
02:13 < Xenothaulus> Hell on Earth
02:13 < necKro> Where's that?
02:13 < Xenothaulus> Hell
02:13 < Xenothaulus> on Earth
02:13 < necKro> So down, then.
02:14 < Xenothaulus> basically yeah
02:14 < Xenothaulus> it was in New Jersey
02:14 < necKro> I see.
02:14 < Xenothaulus> DeVry is a computer school.
02:14 < Xenothaulus> I went there out of high school
02:14 < rystic> and why were you starving?
02:15 < necKro> So you starved yourself just to take class.
02:15 < Xenothaulus> and my housing got fuxx0red, so they put me up in a motel
for 2 months
02:15 < Xenothaulus> because I had no food, no money, no means
02:15 < Xenothaulus> yep
02:15 < rystic> wow, that sucks
02:15 < Xenothaulus> like I said, looking back, it was incredibly stupid
02:15 < rystic> what do you do now?
02:15 < Xenothaulus> also, and I know how this sounds, but it was a 5 mile walk
to class and back on days I couldn't sneak onto a bus
02:16 < Xenothaulus> sit here
02:16 < Xenothaulus> and type
02:16 < Xenothaulus> I'm Mr. Mom.
02:16 < rystic> anything else?
02:16 < necKro> My foot feels better. I am happier about the world.
02:16 < Xenothaulus> My wife's a career-type, so I stay home with kids
02:16 < rystic> well, that's nice
02:16 < necKro> This happens like every night. My computer desk is decidedly
non-ergonomic.
02:16 < necKro> Or at least, the way I sit at it is.
02:17 < rystic> my chair is supposedly like $1000
02:17 < rystic> but, it suck
02:17 < rystic> s
02:17 < necKro> My chair came from some office somewhere. It's okay.
02:17 < Xenothaulus> Get a bar chair, that's what I have.
02:17 < Xenothaulus> It kicks ass.
02:17 < rystic> and the chair in the next room from ikea, was only $100, and
it's heaven
02:17 < necKro> My computer also came from some office somewhere. It's also
okay.
02:17 < rystic> honestly i can not see how they could charge so much for this
thing
02:18 < rystic> and no, i did not buy it
02:18 < necKro> Is it that crazy kind with the rubbery mesh back?
02:18 <@solios> You know.
02:18 < rystic> got if from someone else
02:18 <@solios> I have letters.
02:18 <@solios> That Xenothaulus sent.
02:18 <@solios> When he was in DeVry.
02:18 < rystic> it couldn't fit behind their desk
02:18 < necKro> I'm fine with my chair. So is my cat.
02:18 < rystic> it's huge.
02:18 < necKro> It's her favorite scratching post.
02:18 < Xenothaulus> oh no
02:18 <@solios> Xenothaulus: yep.
02:18 < Xenothaulus> I had some letters that you had sent.
02:18 < rystic> it has a keyboard thing on it
02:18 < Xenothaulus> I killed them
02:18 < Xenothaulus> along with ALL the other letters
02:18 < rystic> like, space ship commander style
02:19 < necKro> How could Xeno afford paper? He could have eaten it.
02:19 * Xenothaulus was a thief.
02:19 <@solios> Xenothaulus: I never throw away anything.
02:19 < Xenothaulus> I even stole my books.
02:19 <@solios> Fuck, I still have all the Dave entries from my journals.
02:19 < Xenothaulus> FROM THE SCHOOL BOOKSTORE
02:19 <@solios> Xenothaulus: you were like a level 48 thief.
02:19 < necKro> There's something to be said for parasitical living.
02:19 < necKro> hahaha.
02:19 < Xenothaulus> yep
02:19 <@solios> Barry and the magic cards was total Karma.
02:19 < Xenothaulus> I know.
02:20 < necKro> So, um... how exactly could you afford classes?
02:20 < Xenothaulus> Scholarship
02:20 < necKro> Ah.
02:20 < Xenothaulus> i entered an essay contest on a whim and won
02:20 <@solios> And beer.
02:20 < Xenothaulus> so I went
02:20 < Xenothaulus> and got fuxx0red
02:20 <@solios> Well, yeah.
02:20 <@solios> It was Them.
02:20 < Xenothaulus> I know
02:20 < Xenothaulus> But I look at it this way.
02:20 < necKro> So you were at a school away from home with no job. You could
go to classes and had a place to live, but nothing to eat.
02:20 < Xenothaulus> The worst experience of my entire life was also my most
formative.
02:21 < Xenothaulus> yep
02:21 <@solios> Xenothaulus: puberty?
02:21 < rystic> xeno: did you graduate or go somewhere else or just drop?
02:21 < Xenothaulus> I left
02:21 < rystic> ok
02:21 < Xenothaulus> Eventually I got an apartment and a job and all
02:21 <@solios> rystic: he came back just in time to keep my senior year from
sucking anus.
02:21 < rystic> haha
02:21 < Xenothaulus> And everything started being great until one of my
roommates decided he had issues with me about having
issues with him and his drugs.
02:22 < Xenothaulus> So one night he sent two of his "boys" to come in and fuck
me up.
02:22 <@solios> * Xenothaulus has flashbacks.
02:22 < rystic> fuck you up with fists or drugs?
02:22 <@solios> Man, I remember all of this.
02:22 < Xenothaulus> with fists and blunt objects
02:22 < rystic> ee
02:22 < necKro> It sounds like Xeno's lived the life of danger.
02:22 <@solios> I was almost there.
02:23 <@solios> necKro: he's secret agent man.
02:23 * solios is too.
02:23 < Xenothaulus> My left ear was pretty much torn off my head and my left
eye was swollen shut for a couple of days
02:23 < rystic> who uh, won, so to speak
02:23 <@solios> We did.
02:23 < Xenothaulus> I was left the next day and when I came back the following
Tuesday, I asked the housing department what they were
going to do about it.
02:23 < Xenothaulus> Nothing.
02:23 < Xenothaulus> So I told them to fuck off
02:23 <@solios> OH!
02:23 <@solios> Dude.
02:23 < Xenothaulus> And yes, we won.
02:23 <@solios> Remember the restaurant?
02:24 <@solios> Where they charged you by the person, not the item?
02:24 < Xenothaulus> I had it from a very good source that Mark, the roommate I
had problems with, had been "dealt" with.
02:24 < Xenothaulus> rofl
02:24 < Xenothaulus> Yes.
02:24 < Xenothaulus> Assholes
02:24 < rystic> solios: are you making this up about you being there, or did
you and xeno actually know each other then?
02:24 <@solios> I had that idea and how much it sucked stuck in my head -
without context- for over a MONTH.
02:24 <@solios> Then you came back and told me about it.
02:24 < Xenothaulus> We've known each other since diapers
02:24 < rystic> wow
02:24 < Xenothaulus> yep
02:25 <@solios> 20 years.
02:25 < rystic> that's damn impressive
02:25 < Xenothaulus> it is
02:25 <@solios> Not really.
02:25 <@solios> He was the only cool guy in the entire county.
02:25 <@solios> By freak chance he lived a mile away.
02:25 < Xenothaulus> Well, Liberty and al- yes.
02:25 < rystic> where is "the county?"
02:25 < Xenothaulus> I need to make a business card.
02:25 < Xenothaulus> Name: Xenothaulus Questor
02:25 < Xenothaulus> Race: Human
02:26 <@solios> rystic: is PA had its ass in thair, it would be the anus.
02:26 < Xenothaulus> Class: Thief
02:26 < Xenothaulus> Level: YES (Retired)
02:26 <@solios> (involuntary)
02:26 <@solios> Well, sort of.
02:26 < Xenothaulus> ;)
02:26 < Xenothaulus> shh
02:26 <@solios> Name: Solios
02:26 <@solios> Race: No.
02:26 < Xenothaulus> maybe inactive would be the best way to put it
02:27 <@solios> Class: Technologist | Occultist | Lucky
02:27 < rystic> what did you do after school/before marriage?
02:27 < Xenothaulus> you forgot asshat
02:27 <@solios> Level: Quite.
02:27 < Xenothaulus> Worked for an antiques company
02:27 < Xenothaulus> and made lots of money which I of course immediately drank
on weekends
02:27 <@solios> Oh, that guy.
02:27 <@solios> He was kind of cool.
02:27 <@solios> CUBE TRUCK OMG
02:28 < rystic> ok
02:28 <@solios> Dude.
02:28 <@solios> That whole bit happened in between breaks at AIP.
02:28 <@solios> O_O
02:28 < Xenothaulus> YEP
02:28 < Xenothaulus> Memory is funny that way, eh?
02:29 <@solios> I think I'm the only guy from the Bad Thing that actually left
the area.
02:29 <@solios> Yep.
02:29 < Xenothaulus> It's all in there, just waiting to be rememberised.
02:29 <@solios> My mind is a repository.
02:29 < Xenothaulus> Um, hi? I'm not There anymore either.
02:29 < Xenothaulus> and soon I'll be even more not There.
02:29 < Xenothaulus> Ohio even
02:29 <@solios> < Xenothaulus > My mind is a supository.
02:29 < Xenothaulus> s/supository/suppository
02:30 <@solios> Xenothaulus: you're still close.
02:30 < Xenothaulus> yes, but not soon
02:30 <@solios> You're just outside the southern border.
02:30 < Xenothaulus> Ohio is farther away than you are
02:30 <@solios> Yeah, but you're further away than Ohio.
02:30 < Xenothaulus> and if I don't stop pronouncing that like Strongbad
everytime I see it or type it, i'm going to cry
02:30 <@solios> And Ohio is FLAT.
02:30 < Xenothaulus> but it has a lake
02:30 < Xenothaulus> and a Robinson
02:31 < Xenothaulus> ergo, it wins
02:31 <@solios> True.
02:31 <@solios> PA has lakes.
02:31 < Xenothaulus> no.
02:31 <@solios> And an Ed.
02:31 <@solios> And dipstick liquor laws.
02:31 < Xenothaulus> ohio has THE lalsjdfasd
02:31 <@solios> Also, unmarked staties.
02:31 < Xenothaulus> actually, they now sell on sundays
02:31 <@solios> dude.
02:31 <@solios> It's PA.
02:31 < Xenothaulus> it's being tried out in 40some liquor stores and
distributors around the state
02:31 <@solios> IT's called "communion".
02:31 <@solios> You thithe.
02:32 < Xenothaulus> the point is though, STATE STORES.
02:32 < Xenothaulus> That's just fucking evil
02:32 < Xenothaulus> When I was in Ohio last, Robinson and I went to a beer
barn. Where we ordered a Woody's Cranberry.
02:32 < necKro> Minnesota has lame liquor laws.
02:32 < Xenothaulus> Just one. A piece
02:32 < Xenothaulus> She even opened them for us.
02:32 < Xenothaulus> We never left the car.
02:32 <@solios> ....
02:32 < Xenothaulus> Yeah
02:32 <@solios> Dude.
02:32 < Xenothaulus> Ohio > *
02:32 < necKro> 10-10, mon-sat, liquor stores. bars close at 1.
02:32 <@solios> I have 17 bars within a one block radius.
02:33 < Xenothaulus> I don't know where the bars are around here, nor do I car.
02:33 * Xenothaulus doesn't do the bar scene
02:33 < Xenothaulus> people...
02:33 * Xenothaulus shudders
02:33 <@solios> Yep.
02:33 <@solios> Damned people.
02:33 <@solios> PEOPLE LIKE RICHARD.
02:33 < Xenothaulus> no
02:33 < necKro> people. beer on tap. people. beer on tap.
02:33 < Xenothaulus> Richard is people
02:33 < Xenothaulus> That's what you meant to say
02:33 < Xenothaulus> bah
02:34 <@solios> Richard is ALL The people.
02:34 < Xenothaulus> I can get beer on tap all I want
02:34 <@solios> At once.
02:34 <@solios> Dead.
02:34 <@solios> Korea crawled up his ass and died.
02:34 < Xenothaulus> just rent a tap and a keg
02:34 <@solios> I'm allergic to beer.
02:34 < Xenothaulus> with that, I'm off for sleep

Defining Xenothaulus. From a perspective that'll probably piss him off. :)

01:52 < Xenothaulus> MOTHERFUCKER!
01:52 * Xenothaulus is out of beer
01:52 < Xenothaulus> 24 bottles don't last long enough
01:53 <@Krev> No they don't.
01:53 <@Krev> Thats why I'm happy I have a bar and a distrubtor across the
street.
01:54 <@solios> I've seen Xenothaulus drink.
01:54 <@solios> He DOESN'T.
01:54 <@solios> He kind of absorbs.
01:54 <@solios> Like, thorugh Osmosis.
01:54 < rystic> haha
01:54 <@Krev> puts his head in the liquid, or by the roots?
01:54 <@solios> Dude drank a half a case in between waking up at noon and my
high school graduation at three.
01:55 <@solios> And he drove.
01:55 <@solios> Straight.
01:55 <@solios> He's cool that way.
01:55 <@solios> Krev: I think he just like breathes deeply.
01:55 <@solios> He communes with the beer.
01:55 <@solios> It knows where to go.
01:55 <@Krev> I like beer.
01:56 <@solios> Warm beer?
01:56 < necKro> Maybe he just drinks it with a bendy straw.
01:56 <@solios> No bendy straw.
01:57 <@solios> We're talking, like, there's a beer on one side of the room,
and he's on the other, and it's GONE and he hasn't moved.
01:57 <@solios> He's a Beerpire.
01:57 <@solios> Like Lestat or something.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> Kain, actually
01:58 < Xenothaulus> and I walked, not drove
01:58 <@solios> See?
01:58 < Xenothaulus> yep
01:58 < Xenothaulus> However, I must point out that I _had_ a case of
Amberbock. At 2200
01:58 < Xenothaulus> and now I don't.
01:59 <@solios> Dude.
01:59 < Xenothaulus> Beer doesn't get me very drunk either.
01:59 <@solios> I'll bet your toilet hates you.