We begin to think...with the power and precision which will make obsolete many of the functions of the human brain.

I am reason.

Everything is reasonable.

You do not know me.

10:58 <xeno> I WAS HAPPY WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 5.
11:00 <solios> life started to suck around puberty.
11:04 <xeno> [13.58.16] <xeno> I WAS HAPPY WHEN I WAS, LIKE, 5.
11:04 <solios> :|
11:04 <solios> being an adult sucks.
11:04 <solios> bills and health and job and routines.
11:04 <xeno> sure does.
11:05 <xeno> RESPONSIBILITY--
11:05 <solios> and the shit thing about routines is that your brain goes FUCK I'VE SEEN THIS MOVIE BEFORE and IGNORES IT.
11:05 <xeno> i liked it when i knew EXACTLY what every day would bring
11:05 <solios> so you lose WEEKS. AND MONTHS. AND YEARS.
11:05 <solios> uh.
11:05 <xeno> wake up, board bus, sit in school, eat lunch, RECESS, sit in school some more, go home, play outside, eat supper, go to bed
11:05 <solios> you know exactly what every day will bring NOW.
11:05 <xeno> REPEAT
11:05 <solios> the difference is you don't LIKE IT.
11:05 <solios> see?
11:05 <xeno> heh
11:05 <xeno> POINT.

21:51 <@solios> fagbot: Bill?
21:51 <+fagbot> Bill is looking for an old woman, in the middle of nowhere.
21:51 <@solios> :D
21:51 <@solios> Bill++
21:51 <@xeno> i told you he Popped By once, when I was still living in liberty right?
21:51 <@solios> we have the same birthday.
21:51 <@solios> O_o
21:51 <@solios> odd.
21:51 <@solios> I think you mentioned it.
21:51 <@xeno> i heard a motorcycle
21:52 <@solios> Bill rules.
21:52 <@xeno> and i went Outside
21:52 <@xeno> and there was a bill there
21:52 <@solios> :O
21:52 <@xeno> and he had a Bag
21:52 <@xeno> and i was like UH.
21:52 <@solios> Bill and Wes make up for the Ed.
21:52 <@xeno> and he tromped up to the porch
21:52 <@xeno> and blomped the bag down on it
21:52 <@xeno> and said here
21:52 <@xeno> and left
21:52 <@solios> o_O
21:52 <@solios> wt
21:52 <@xeno> IT WAS BEER.
21:52 <@solios> !

21:54 <@solios> I'm in a Mood.
21:54 <@solios> :/
21:56 <@xeno> i noticed
21:56 <@xeno> no more vodka for you.
21:56 <@solios> I had one.
21:56 <@solios> and it was whiskey.
21:57 <@xeno> dumb.
21:57 <@xeno> ASS.
21:57 <@solios> ?
21:57 <@solios> I ATE afterwards!
21:57 <@xeno> my recommendation to you is to start drinking.
21:57 <@xeno> heavily.
21:57 * xeno hands solios the JD.
21:58 <+ejp> there's a fine line between too much and not enough.
21:58 <+ejp> this is true of most things.
21:59 <@xeno> yar
21:59 <@xeno> not enough == not dead
21:59 <@xeno> too much == dead
21:59 <@xeno> it sucks that way
21:59 <@xeno> sucks enough to make a person start drinking.
21:59 <+ejp> ...

[07.52.09] < @xeno> <- Aphex Twin : Tha
[08.04.43] < @xeno> IDM (Intelligent Dance Music) eventually acquired a good deal of negative publicity, not least among the legion of dance producers and fans whose exclusion from the community prompted the question of whether they produced stupid dance music.
[08.04.50] < @xeno> :D
[08.07.18] < +_Lasar> SDM
[08.07.33] < @xeno> :D
[08.07.34] < +_Lasar> Uh.
[08.07.58] < +_Lasar> All the radio top hit charts consist off 581% SDM.
[08.08.26] < @xeno> yup
[08.08.40] < @xeno> this is why I rarely listen to it
[08.08.45] < @xeno> i assmue it's going to be bad
[08.08.59] < @xeno> and what's great about that is, when I do happen to tune in, it usually isn't
[08.09.11] < @xeno> so I must have a special power relating to catching radio stations at a good time
[08.09.24] < +_Lasar> :)
[08.09.41] < +_Lasar> So you're kind of a super hero, only your super power isn't all that exciting :)
[08.10.05] < @xeno> yes.
[08.10.12] < @xeno> I have other, specialer powers though.
[08.10.24] < +_Lasar> "specialer powers"
[08.10.29] < @xeno> ;)
[08.10.40] < +_Lasar> Like speakening?
[08.10.54] < @xeno> no.
[08.11.09] < @xeno> i took that as a disadvantage to get more points for my variable power pool.

"'How does the story come to you, sai?' Roland asked quietly.

'I don't like the New Agers... the crystal-wavers... all the it-don't-matter, turn-the-pagers... but they call it channeling, and that's... how it feels... like something in a channel...'"

- Stephen King, Song of Susannah, 28 May, 2003

---

We are not poets,
we are not writers.

We are mediums,
trans-cable connections from There to Here.

We organise,
arrange,
systemise,
coordinate.

We do not create,
we channel.

- xeno, 23 April, 2002

O_O

12:56 < xeno_scotch> yesterday i had only drank the top half the bottle
12:56 < xeno_scotch> today i'm working on the bottom
12:56 < xeno_scotch> and, as everyone knows, that's stronger
12:56 < xeno_scotch> because really, when you drink half a bottle, you're drinking the bottom, filtered through the top
12:56 < xeno_scotch> so the last half is always stronger.
12:56 < xeno_scotch> PH34R THE LOGIC OF THE XENO
12:57 <@ejp> the anti-logic
12:57 < xeno_scotch> well, yes.
12:57 < xeno_scotch> there really isn't any other kind

I'm kickin' it on the biomass equivalent of one meal a day. Xeno's rebooting his biorythm the {easy|hard} way.

<xeno_reset> things are getting... thing.

And stuff.

A brief explanation, via IRC, of a Reset. Description, brief how-to follows:

[09.21.08] < @_Lasar> Blar
[09.21.17] < @_Lasar> My priorities:
[09.21.21] < @_Lasar> 1) Stay awake
[09.21.40] < @_Lasar> 2) Look productive enough to keep boss from chcking on me
[09.21.50] < @_Lasar> 3) Maybe even get something done
[09.21.58] < xeno_reset> hahaha
[09.22.07] < xeno_reset> My priorities:
[09.22.11] < xeno_reset> 1) Stay awake
[09.22.20] < xeno_reset> 2) Successful reset
[09.22.29] < xeno_reset> 3) See 1)

[02.59.29] ejp (~panties@cloak-2819D15A.drizzle.com) is now known as Maarken
[02.59.33] < Maarken> this
[02.59.36] < xeno> I have read one Dragonlance book
[02.59.39] < solios> o____________O
[02.59.44] solios (~solios@cloak-2819D15A.drizzle.com) is now known as Hayte
[02.59.48] Maarken (~panties@cloak-2819D15A.drizzle.com) is now known as ejp
[02.59.48] < xeno> it was something about a minotaur called Huma or something
[02.59.49] < Hayte> I see your dnd and raise you.
[02.59.50] < @bda> Fags.
[02.59.51] < xeno> and I really liked it
[02.59.56] < xeno> holy balls
[02.59.59] < @bda> The Riftwar Saga is the only fantasy series I at all likes.
[03.00.01] xeno (~no@cloak-31811941.stcgpa.adelphia.net) is now known as Luthro
[03.00.03] < Luthro> asldjfasl;f
[03.00.05] < Hayte> !
[03.00.06] Luthro (~no@cloak-31811941.stcgpa.adelphia.net) is now known as Luthor
[03.00.07] < Luthor> I win
[03.00.09] < Hayte> OMFG
[03.00.10] < @bda> You homos.
[03.00.12] < Hayte> CHESTNUT.
[03.00.12] < Luthor> CHESTNUT.
[03.00.14] < ejp> we may not be talking about the same Dragonlance.
[03.00.15] < Hayte> sdrsdghdfh fgh
[03.00.16] < Luthor> as;ljflsdjfalsdjf;lkasjdflkashdtgio3awhgrvouehan

In reference to a previous entry, I've recieved a response though Jolie.

It goes a little something like this:

11:05 <xeno> HAHAHAHA
11:05 <xeno> i have callouses.
11:05 <xeno> ON MY BACK.
11:05 <xeno> FROM THE CHAIR
11:05 <xeno> i am awesome

[02.03.40] < xeno> ajsdlfaklsd
[02.03.42] < xeno> solios: DU'ROC
[02.03.45] < xeno> that was it
[02.03.51] < solios> kldjsfghkjkl;j.
[02.03.54] < solios> goddammit.
[02.03.58] < solios> you FUCKASS.
[02.04.03] * solios slays xeno.
[02.04.05] < xeno> asdfaj;sfd
[02.04.06] < xeno> spittake
[02.04.11] < solios> :D
[02.04.15] < xeno> my monitor is now showered in Jone's Energy Drink

Xeno provided food and covered most operating expenses in Lock Haven. The Pittsburgh experience came out of my pocket. No worries, the electric bill isn't due until the 25th.

Xeno and I haven't hung out for any length of time since the summer of 2000. My five minute pit stop in December of 2001 and three years of IRC don't really count. On IRC, no one can hear you stink.

Or something.

Lock Haven :

The suck : Lock Haven, trying to get IPX to work so we could play Diablow, Xeno's sound card, xeno getting my powerbook drunk.
The word : Ass.
The food : Awesome. (xenoburgers, xenoghetti, BOWL FUCKING NOODLE)
The booze : Vodka, Port, peach wine. Xeno had beer as well.
The entertainment : Painkiller, MAIL CALL, Quake III
The high point : Talking bathroom stall at lycoming mall, photo safaris, Steven taking a weapons grade piss all over xeno, getting TOTALLY WASTED Tuesday night. Quake III.
The low point : Forty trips to Wal-Mart and NO PR0N.

Transit :

The high point : Ohl
The low point : numb ass.
The music : some funked out French AM station

Pittsburgh :

The suck : White Power flag in some suburban fuckhole we were stuck in during rush hour.
The word : Awesome.
The food : Tom's Diner (Xeno : Greek Salad. Solios: PANCAKES)
The booze : Vodka from Lock Haven
The entertainment : Waterfront, Hellboy. Xeno saw the museum on Thursday.
The high point : Margaritas and Porn
The low point : We saw Hellboy instead.

Totals:

Cigarettes smoked : About 12 packs in six days.
Booze consumed : All of it. Except for a bit of vodka, which I'm consuming tonight.
Monetary Dissipation : Approximately ~400$, total extent of damage unknown at this point.
Miles Driven : All of them.
Fun Had : Damn near all of it. Pittsburgh is a depressingly bland shithole by comparison.

in the /away log:

19:01 -!- Irssi: Starting query in moo with xeno_beer
19:01 < xeno_beer> >_<
19:01 < xeno_beer> FAG.
19:01 < xeno_beer> OMFG FAG FAG FAG FAG FAGGITY FAG FAG FAG FAG
19:01 < xeno_beer> you looted Ace of Bass
19:02 < xeno_beer> goddamn you're gay
19:03 < xeno_beer> ELF BOOTY GOT SOUL

In #loc:

19:02 < @xeno_beer> I just now looked at the shared directory that solios was using when he was here
19:02 < @xeno_beer> he leeched some music from me
19:02 < @xeno_beer> ACE. OF. BASE.
19:02 < @xeno_beer> fag.
19:02 < @xeno_beer> fag fag fag fag fag fag.
19:08 -!- solios_afk is now known as solios
19:08 * solios wins.
19:10 < @xeno_beer> :D
19:10 < @xeno_beer> buttpeach
19:10 < @solios> look.
19:10 < @solios> you're the one that HAD it.

21:42 < xeno_molson> fagbot: doot for liberty
21:42 < fagbot> you can see how upset it makes me
21:42 < solios> fagbot: doot for liberty again
21:42 < fagbot> WHAT THE NUTS
21:43 < xeno_molson> fagbot: doot for tioga
21:43 < fagbot> HOLY CRAP

[14.22.59] < @xeno> <- Juno Reactor : God is God
[14.23.09] < @solios> well, he IS, you know.
[14.24.51] < @xeno> ALLAH ACKBAR
[14.25.18] < @solios> I like how modern islam completely ignores Mohammad's big major thing.
[14.25.22] < @solios> which was La Allah.
[14.25.28] < @solios> or, "there is no god."
[14.27.08] < @xeno> actually, no.
[14.28.27] < @solios> you have your historical documentation, I have mine.
[14.28.41] < @solios> also, the fundies forget about two things:
[14.29.00] < @xeno> I also have the koran
[14.29.02] < @xeno> which I've read
[14.29.05] < @solios> Islam : there's a chapter in the holy book that flat out says "to each their own. mind your own damned bidness."
[14.29.06] < @xeno> in several versions
[14.29.15] < @solios> Christianity : thousand years of peace after the warthing.
[14.29.23] < @xeno> and studied the religion comparativley for about 2 years
[14.29.33] < @xeno> you're right about the mind your own damn business part
[14.29.37] < @solios> :D
[14.29.56] < @xeno> but also don't forget, Mohammed was very clear: death to infidels
[14.30.08] < @xeno> however, the actual meaning of infidel has been distorted by politics
[14.30.14] < @xeno> it didn't mean unbelievers of Allah
[14.30.25] < @solios> m-w.com
[14.30.26] < @xeno> it mean unbelievers, period. and blasphemers and the like
[14.30.36] < @solios> acc. to M-W, it's unbelievers of the Christian God.
[14.30.36] < @xeno> sadfjlisadflkjasd;f
[14.30.37] * @xeno dies
[14.30.43] < @xeno> IT'S AN ARABIC WORD OMFG
[14.31.06] < @xeno> it didn't come into the western speech until the crusades
[14.31.09] * @xeno sighs

23:10 <@xeno_drunk> I JUST BASHED MY TEEHT WITH A ABREER BOOTTLE
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> >:L|
23:10 < _absolut> Ouch.
23:10 <@solios> your TEEHT?
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> YES
23:10 < _absolut> Hah.
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> my TEEHT
23:10 <@solios> ow.
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> fuck you
23:10 <@solios> <- dying
23:10 < _absolut> My wine wasn't even good, and I nearly killed myself opening it. :|
23:10 <@xeno_drunk> .,me notes that ehe still types better crunk thena soliso ssober
23:11 <@xeno_drunk> o_o
23:11 * xeno_drunk surrenders

14:06 < xeno> they don't fit, k? k. :|
14:08 < solios> k. :|
14:08 < solios> you could, like, stick your nads in the blender.
14:08 < xeno> dude
14:08 < xeno> they makeasdfksjdfa
14:08 < xeno> o_O
14:09 < xeno> they make mr. wonderful turn purple
14:09 < xeno> and I can never pull them on more than halfway
14:09 < xeno> and buying magnums is out, because it's embarrassing
14:09 < xeno> plus, the magnum means length, not width
14:09 < solios> buy horse condoms. :P
14:10 < solios> regular condoms are tight. :|
14:10 < xeno> LOL!
14:10 < xeno> horse condoms
14:10 < xeno> I doubt they make those
14:11 < solios> They do.
14:11 < xeno> yes, but they'd be a few inches too long
14:12 < solios> roll them up.
14:12 < solios> like pants.
14:13 * xeno falls over

14:06 < solios> I always always always ALWAYS USE A CONDOM ALWAYS OMFG.
14:06 < xeno> ...
14:06 < solios> Last girl I dated went on birth control.
14:06 < solios> < kristen> we can have sex with out condom!
14:06 < solios> < solios> no.
14:06 < solios> < kristen> WE ARE HAVING SEX WITHOUT THE CONDOM.
14:06 < solios> < solios> k.
14:06 < solios> * sex happens
14:06 < solios> (approximately one minute after sex)
14:07 < solios> * kristen sits up in bed
14:07 < solios> < kristen> O_o
14:07 < solios> < kristen< OMFG EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!
14:07 < photon> hahahaah
14:07 * xeno dies
14:07 < xeno> just end it there
14:07 < xeno> that's perfect

[13.39.20] < @xeno> HAHAHAHA OMFG
[13.39.35] < @xeno> * kazaa downloads look_at_this_dumb_bitch_i_fucked.mpg
[13.39.37] < @xeno> WTF
[13.40.00] < @xeno> this is what I get for telling kazaa DOWNLOAD PR0N and then leaving it on for days
[13.40.20] < @xeno> < kazaa> pr0n?
[13.40.25] < @xeno> < xeno> pr0n.
[13.40.28] < @xeno> < kazaa> which?
[13.40.31] < @xeno> < xeno> yes.
[13.40.35] < @xeno> < kazaa> k!
[13.40.57] < @xeno> asdjflksljf

16:38 * solios makes an ass out of himself.
16:38 < solios> which is, all things considered, fairly easy.
16:38 < xeno> :D :D :D
16:38 < xeno> <-- giggling
16:38 < xeno> THROUGH A HEADACHE ASSMONGER
16:38 < solios> :D
16:42 < xeno> still giggling
16:42 < xeno> asshole
17:16 < solios> :D
18:30 < xeno> GODAMMIT
18:30 < xeno> I went away for an hour, reread it, and I'm laughing again
18:30 < xeno> I hate you
18:31 < solios> :)

[17.02.54] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#hoopdi
[17.02.55] < solios> :D
[18.22.47] < xeno> omfg you found a picture of a Granada
[18.22.49] < xeno> shame on you
[18.22.54] < xeno> shame shame SHAME

[15.25.22] < solios> :D
[16.13.48] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#5c
[16.14.06] < solios> :D :D
[16.19.11] < xeno> Not Found
[16.19.11] < xeno> The requested URL /loc/www.hermetics.org/pdf/Liber_777.pdf was not found on this server.
[16.19.16] < xeno> See?
[16.20.05] < xeno> btw, that url had 40 characters in it
[16.20.15] < xeno> which is easily divisble by 5
[16.20.16] < xeno> :)
[16.20.22] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES
[16.24.52] < solios> :P
[16.26.12] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#blam
[16.28.31] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/000104.php
[16.28.33] < solios> O_o
[16.31.09] < solios> That entry has been deleted from the database.
[16.31.10] < solios> :O
[16.44.04] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/000055.php
[18.23.44] < xeno> I see you fixed the url for 777
[18.23.48] < solios> yes.
[18.24.14] < xeno> 42 characters
[18.24.18] < xeno> 4+2=6
[18.24.20] < solios> :>
[18.24.29] < xeno> factors of 6: 1,2,3,6
[18.24.29] < solios> 4*2=8
[18.24.34] < xeno> 2+3=5
[18.24.40] < xeno> 6-1=5
[18.24.48] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES
[18.25.55] < solios> http://mercury.mirrorshades.org/loc/faq.php#5c
[18.27.01] < xeno> also, 7*7*7=343
[18.27.05] < xeno> 3+4+3=10
[18.27.09] < xeno> see where this is going yet?
[18.27.14] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES
[18.27.35] < solios> k
[18.27.38] < xeno> ;)
[18.27.46] < xeno> You really should become an Erisian.
[18.27.51] < solios> ?
[18.27.54] < solios> k = 11
[18.27.54] < xeno> Then we could piss each other off even more
[18.27.58] < solios> ??
[18.28.00] < xeno> :)
[18.28.09] < xeno> I'd tell you, but then I'd have to laugh at you.
[18.28.42] < xeno> yes, k is the 11th letter of the alphabet
[18.28.44] < xeno> what of it?
[18.28.50] < xeno> we're talking about NUMBERS, not letters ;P
[18.28.56] < solios> :D
[18.29.00] < solios> 1+1=
[18.29.03] < solios> 2!
[18.29.07] < solios> 1*1 = 1!
[18.29.07] < xeno> yes
[18.29.11] < solios> THERE IS NO FIVE.
[18.29.17] < solios> there is only zu'ul.
[18.29.35] < xeno> however, if you really feel the need to bring it up: 26 total letters in the alphabet. K is the 11th letter. That leaves 15 other letters. ;)
[18.29.43] < solios> fddkjfhsadjkfhkjshfj.
[18.29.54] < xeno> YOU CANNOT ESCAPE THE LAW OF FIVES

[15:33.09] < xeno> So, I'm reading Great Expectations.
[15:33.17] < xeno> I'm in the middle of the book
[15:33.29] < xeno> And suddenly, the binding kind of crumbles, and about 20 pages drift to the floor.
[15:33.37] < xeno> If that's not a commentary on my life, I don't know what is.
[15:33.56] < ejp> haha

< me> Hi, I'm here to renew my license.
< ladything> k
* ladything hands me a form
< ladything> fill that out, and we need a check for $26
< me> k
* me does this thing
* ladything clicky clicks on the computer
* ladything hands back form w/check
< ladything> I'm sorry sir, we cannot renew your license at this time.
< me> ...
* ladything points at something on the license.
< license> Expires: 05/02/04
< license> asshole

[00.05.42] < ejp> also, why is it that snivling pansy-ass little spazzes get hot girlfriends, and a good chunk of ~. gets zip?
[00.05.59] < ejp> < /meatspace_inspired_rant>
[00.06.42] * @bda pauses.
[00.08.57] < Xenothaulus> ejp: hot girlfriends are only cool to have if they don't speak
[00.09.00] < Xenothaulus> That's what dicks are for
[00.09.05] < Xenothaulus> To put in there and shut them up
[00.11.00] < ejp> I don't think that's the correct answer.
[00.11.18] < Xenothaulus> Probably not.
[00.11.25] < Xenothaulus> fagbot: doot for hot girlfriends
[00.11.32] < fagbot> to JERK OFF is to be CLOSE TO GOD...only with SPURTING
[00.11.42] < Xenothaulus> THERE'S your answer.
[00.11.53] < Xenothaulus> Fapping will protect you from the Terrible Secret of Space.
[00.12.55] < ejp> I don't think taking advice on girls from FAGbot is a good idea
[00.13.00] < Xenothaulus> ...
[00.13.00] < Xenothaulus> :D
[00.13.02] < Xenothaulus> Good point.
[00.13.09] < @bda> Or Xeno, apparently.
[00.13.14] < Xenothaulus> Then take advice from someone who's been fucked over too many times.
[00.13.17] < Xenothaulus> They're not worth it.
[00.13.31] < Xenothaulus> Get one drunk, bring her home, bang her, and then throw her out.
[00.13.36] < Xenothaulus> wash/rinse/repeat
[00.13.50] < @bda> That's.. great.
[00.13.57] < @bda> Only the exact opposite of great.
[00.14.00] < @bda> Where it's not great at all.
[00.14.22] < Xenothaulus> Sure it is. You get the bang without having to worry about the buck.
[00.14.37] < @bda> See, still not great.
[00.14.47] < Xenothaulus> Um...
[00.14.54] < Xenothaulus> Wait until you've been through the mill enough times.
[00.14.59] < Xenothaulus> And then married on top of that.
[00.15.06] < Xenothaulus> You'll change your mind in a goddamn hurry.
[00.15.11] < @bda> Uh huh.
[00.15.25] < Xenothaulus> Women are a pain in the ass and barely worth the time, effort and money spent on them.
[00.15.38] < Xenothaulus> I'd much rather go to a bar, find one, fuck her and then kick her out.
[00.15.46] < Xenothaulus> The whole relationship thing has left me rather cold.
[00.15.51] < @bda> Uh huh.
[00.16.01] < Xenothaulus> Gives them way too much power and all it does is hurt you in the end.
[00.16.49] < ejp> yeeeeah. ok then.
[00.17.05] < Xenothaulus> < /lovelife_inspired_rant>
[00.17.36] < @bda> I don't think that was regarding your lovelife at all.
[00.17.44] < @bda> I think that would more accurately be described as your hatelife.

[21.42.57] < Xenothaulus> Oh, something neat happened to me today.
[21.43.05] < solios> pr0n?
[21.43.08] < Xenothaulus> You know those asshole banana clips women put in their hair?
[21.43.18] < Xenothaulus> Well, Katie left one lying on the bathroom floor.
[21.43.27] < Xenothaulus> And when I stepped out of the shower, BLOM!
[21.43.27] < solios> o_O
[21.43.29] < solios> WANG!
[21.43.45] < Xenothaulus> The best part is, I've never stepped on anything ever before, not even a thumbtack.
[21.43.53] < solios> o_O
[21.44.12] < Xenothaulus> This time, I stepped on ALL the things. You know the little prongs on them? Right. I stepped on it lengthwise, so about 32984238957 of them little bastards sank into my foot.
[21.44.18] < Xenothaulus> ALL. THE. WAY.
[21.44.25] < Xenothaulus> They're about an inch long.
[21.44.37] < Xenothaulus> So I'm like, "Well, THAT'S fucking nice."
[21.44.45] < Xenothaulus> And sit down on the tub rail to begin to extricate them.
[21.44.58] < Xenothaulus> That's when I realised that the clip was UNDER A BLUE WALMART GROCERY BAG.
[21.45.12] < solios> hm.
[21.45.14] < Xenothaulus> I noticed this because the goddamn thing was stapled to my foot.
[21.45.14] < solios> you win.

This is all, to the extent that memory serves, completely true. I was a total junky when I was three. Honest. I WAS A TUMS WHORE.

03:48 < solios> CHIGANDA!
03:48 < solios> dear GODS.
03:48 < solios> WHY am I talking to a gurl from deviantart?!
03:49 < solios> INOW BETTER.
03:49 < solios> but alas, no.
03:49 <@bda> Drunk ass ho.
03:50 < ejp> THE WANG IS STRONGER THAN THE MIND!
03:50 < solios> well.
03:50 < solios> I switched, you see.
03:50 < solios> from V/T to V/C.
03:50 < solios> VEIT FUCKING CONG!
03:50 < ejp> you're straight now?
03:50 <@bda> VIET.
03:50 < solios> ,CHARLIE'S IN THE TREES!!!! CHARLIE'S INM THE TREEEEEEEEZ!
03:50 < solios> OMFG!
03:50 < solios> ejp: >:|
03:50 < solios> VODKA
03:51 < solios> CRANBERRY
03:51 < ejp> oh.
03:51 < solios> vodka tonic = sip sip eh fuzzy poppy carbonated :|
03:51 * ejp grumbles and pokes time
03:51 < solios> vodka cranberry = slurp! XD
03:51 < solios> ejp: NYQUIL.
03:52 < ejp> there's other shit in there. a couple of which make my nose bleed like a fucking faucet.
03:52 <@bda> Crackfriends.
03:52 <@bda> You're all fucking crackfiends.
03:52 < solios> hm.
03:52 < solios> you know.
03:52 < solios> when I was three.
03:52 <@bda> HEY CRACKFIEND LAY OFF THE CRACK
03:52 < solios> I'd just jump in my parent's medicine cabinet.
03:52 < solios> and chow down.
03:52 < solios> true story.
03:52 <@bda> Holy shit.
03:52 <@bda> That explains a lot.
03:52 < ejp> explains a lot.
03:52 < ejp> heh
03:52 < solios> random nosebleeds.
03:52 < solios> ear bleeding.
03:53 < solios> that was fun.
03:53 < solios> also, fingernailes.
03:53 < solios> though that may have been from the nose or ears.
03:53 <@bda> ...
03:54 < mdxiGaming> I TOLD U I WUZ HARDCORE
03:54 < solios> no, really.
03:54 < solios> I remember mom dragging me out in front of gramma one night, me still shoving tums in my mouth.
03:54 < solios> mom asking gramma if I was, like, gonna die or some shit.
03:54 < solios> gramma deferring to my aunt. o_O
03:55 < solios> man.
03:55 < solios> I totally fucking miss being able to pop 349857349875 pills and still wake up and run around like a maniac the next day.
03:55 < solios> Minus the shitting my pants part. i'm glad I grew out of that.
03:56 <@bda> wtf
03:56 < ejp> I'm sure the right drugs can put you back thre.
03:56 < solios> So am I.
03:56 < solios> But I'd have to wipe my own ass.
03:56 < solios> :|

[21.26.28] < solios> Surprise me and upload it yourself. I think you can do that.
[21.26.31] < solios> :D
[21.26.41] < solios> just name it Xenothaulus.png :>
[21.27.01] < Xenothaulus> yar, but I tried that and it said :P
[21.27.18] < solios> :O
[21.27.25] < solios> what was the error?
[21.27.32] < Xenothaulus> I don't know how.
[21.27.43] < Xenothaulus> where do I upload to?
[21.28.07] < solios> you just upload.
[21.28.12] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.28.12] < solios> it'll default to the loc dir.
[21.28.13] < solios> :D
[21.28.16] < Xenothaulus> right...
[21.28.22] < Xenothaulus> But WHERE?
[21.28.24] < Xenothaulus> And HOW?
[21.28.26] < Xenothaulus> dingus
[21.28.51] < solios> there's an upload file button.
[21.28.55] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.28.58] < solios> in the LOC menu.
[21.29.02] < Xenothaulus> OMFG WH- oh
[21.29.07] < solios> where you would go and edit entries and shit.
[21.29.29] < Xenothaulus> moveable type you mean?
[21.29.51] < solios> that too.
[21.29.56] < solios> MT in the LOC blog.
[21.30.01] < Xenothaulus> hmph
[21.30.04] < Xenothaulus> I'll be damned.
[21.30.09] < Xenothaulus> never noticed an LOC menu...
[21.30.14] < Xenothaulus> Always just clicked new entry
[21.30.17] < solios> erm.
[21.30.22] < solios> assweed.
[21.30.24] < solios> :D
[21.31.21] < Xenothaulus> embedded, yar?
[21.32.18] < solios> No.
[21.32.21] < Xenothaulus> popup?
[21.32.22] < solios> just upload it.
[21.32.26] < solios> as Xenothaulus.png
[21.32.26] < Xenothaulus> >:
[21.32.29] < Xenothaulus> yes
[21.32.35] < Xenothaulus> and now it says, popup or embedded
[21.32.37] < solios> and tell it"overwrite, plzkthks."
[21.32.39] < solios> oh.
[21.32.42] < solios> embedded.
[21.32.46] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.32.46] < solios> then ignore it.
[21.32.47] < solios> :D
[21.32.47] < Xenothaulus> assnugget
[21.32.53] < solios> ?
[21.33.07] < Xenothaulus> that didn't do a goddamn thing
[21.33.15] < solios> o_o
[21.33.21] < Xenothaulus> does it take time matriculate or something?
[21.33.23] < solios> what's the name of the file you're uploading?
[21.33.26] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.33.30] < Xenothaulus> xenothaulus.png
[21.33.32] < Xenothaulus> poohead
[21.33.37] < solios> unix is case sensitive.
[21.33.41] < solios> fartface.
[21.33.51] < Xenothaulus> i reckon it didn't overwrite because you named it xeno.png
[21.33.58] < Xenothaulus> at least, that's what the current one saves as
[21.34.00] < solios> Did not.
[21.34.03] < Xenothaulus> TOO!
[21.34.06] < Xenothaulus> capital x?
[21.34.57] < solios> Yes.
[21.35.02] < Xenothaulus> worked that time
[21.35.09] < solios> !
[21.35.13] < solios> it sure did.
[21.35.14] < Xenothaulus> Looks much better this way, I think.
[21.35.19] < solios> dklfghjfjk.
[21.35.22] < Xenothaulus> The old one looked more like a shrub or some damn thing
[21.35.29] < solios> I reloaded and, like, POING! more tree.
[21.35.38] * Xenothaulus is teh 1337 p1x3l m4573r!
[21.35.42] < solios> k!
[21.35.46] < solios> anyway.
[21.35.52] < solios> you now know how to ADD PIX OMFG.
[21.35.56] < Xenothaulus> yar
[21.36.05] < solios> if you're going to use one in an entry, don't make thumbnails larger than like 500.
[21.36.08] < Xenothaulus> And that's useful... how?
[21.36.09] < solios> k?
[21.36.11] < Xenothaulus> Oh.
[21.36.12] < Xenothaulus> That.
[21.36.17] < Xenothaulus> Okay, so I use one in an entry.
[21.36.18] < solios> :>
[21.36.29] < Xenothaulus> how do I reference it in the writey part?
[21.36.30] < solios> phj34r.
[21.36.36] < solios> simple.
[21.36.41] < solios> you tell it popup or embedded.
[21.36.44] < solios> then you're asked:
[21.36.53] < solios> MAKE A NEW ENTRY WITH THIS OMFG OR LIKE NOT?
[21.36.57] < Xenothaulus> Ah.
[21.37.02] < solios> and you say MAKE A NEW ENTRY WITH THIS OMFG.
[21.37.03] < Xenothaulus> And then it'll put the code in for me eh?
[21.37.05] < solios> and then it does.
[21.37.11] < solios> unless you tell it "popup"
[21.37.15] < solios> then it does anyway.
[21.37.18] < solios> yes.
[21.37.20] < Xenothaulus> So I can write "Writey stuff" picture "See?"
[21.37.26] < solios> pretty much.
[21.37.28] < Xenothaulus> neat
[21.37.38] < solios> you'll want to like < p> or < div> or something it.
[21.37.43] * Xenothaulus downloads entire goatse.cx archives
[21.37.44] < solios> you'll get the hang.
[21.37.46] < solios> you ldkfjgklfjgf.
[21.37.48] < solios> fuck.
[21.37.50] < solios> ass.
[21.37.52] < Xenothaulus> :D
[21.37.52] < solios> o_o
[21.37.55] < solios> o_O
[21.38.02] < Xenothaulus> I just killed me.
[21.38.06] < Xenothaulus> The other I wins.
[21.38.07] < solios> * Xenothaulus wins!
[21.38.13] < solios> * France surrenders.
[21.38.27] < Xenothaulus> < satis> That doesn't take much.
[21.38.35] < solios> exactly.
[21.38.41] < solios> one of your assgoblins would pwn france.
[21.38.41] < Xenothaulus> oh.
[21.38.43] < Xenothaulus> < div>?
[21.38.47] < solios> yeh.
[21.39.01] < solios> < div align="center"> STUFFOMFG < /div>
[21.39.07] < Xenothaulus> yes, I get that.
[21.39.09] < solios> where STUFFOMFG is pretty much whatever.
[21.39.12] < solios> smacks it in the middle.
[21.39.14] < solios> :D
[21.39.17] < Xenothaulus> But is there a difference between < div> and < p>?
[21.39.22] < solios> fuck yes.
[21.39.22] < solios> :D
[21.39.24] < Xenothaulus> And what the hell does < div> stand for anyway?
[21.39.30] < solios> fuck if I know.
[21.39.32] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.39.37] < Xenothaulus> So what's the difference then?
[21.39.40] < solios> div is used for alignment.
[21.39.43] < Xenothaulus> uh...
[21.39.44] < solios> center, left, right.
[21.39.49] < solios> and classes in CSS.
[21.39.54] < Xenothaulus> < p align="center">STUFFOMFG< /p>
[21.40.08] < Xenothaulus> How are they different?
[21.40.25] < solios> ...
[21.40.30] < solios> CSS.
[21.40.32] < Xenothaulus> k!
[21.40.41] < Xenothaulus> CSS won't recognise < p> tags?
[21.40.41] < solios> if you P in LOC, you'll have problems.
[21.40.44] < Xenothaulus> ah
[21.40.45] < solios> Yes.
[21.40.47] < Xenothaulus> gran' so.
[21.40.47] < solios> It will.
[21.40.49] < Xenothaulus> ...
[21.40.54] < Xenothaulus> I'mma keel you.
[21.40.54] < solios> I set up the P to do Something.
[21.40.55] < solios> see?
[21.40.58] < Xenothaulus> Ah.
[21.40.59] < Xenothaulus> k.
[21.41.04] < Xenothaulus> What's it do?
[21.41.09] < solios> I forget.
[21.41.11] < Xenothaulus> asdlj;faseljdf
[21.41.13] * Xenothaulus falls over
[21.41.15] < solios> But the point is you shouldn't use it.
[21.41.20] < Xenothaulus> oslios: 0 LOC: 1

17:21 < solios> email from SMS.
17:22 < solios> with password protected pdf.

< pdf> THIS IS NOT A BILL.
< solios> THANK GOD.
< pdf> had this been an actual bill, a swarm of elite SMS ninjas would leap out of this PDF, eat your nads and then sell your teeth to pay off said loan. That is all.
< solios> ...
< pdf> sup, bitch?
* solios closes Acrobat.

[15:24] Xherau: I just didn't understand the lust for entertainment and good times you guys have.
[15:24] Xherau: If that's what it is?

Following a #dotnet discussion in which I revealed my Super S3kr1t Outlook filters:

From: Xeno
To: solios
Date: Thursday, August 14, 2003 20:16
Subject: This is a test

I saw your email about urgent assistance. Can't afford Viagra for your
penis? Mortgage nigeria! This investment oppurtunity is free to join and
won't increase your debt! Our viagar is xxx-strength!

To unsubscribe, contact, FWD or FW the following:

solios@yahoo.com
solios@hotmail.com
geocities
aol.com

This is only a test.

BLEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Had this been an actualy emergency, you would now have 5 seconds before
the magic smoke got out.

'nuff said.

01:55 < Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau> Rule #1 when you are pantsless: Don't think you're cool.
01:55 <@goodbye> hey i'm pantsless right now and i'm coo!
01:55 < Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau> Did you blam one of your nuts with your belt buckle because you were trying to be Jackie Chan?
01:56 <@goodbye> ouch.
01:56 <@solios> wait.
01:56 <@solios> look.
01:57 < Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau> no.
01:57 <@solios> you can't have !pants AND blam a nut on your belt buckle.
01:57 -!- Xenothaulus_Lowenbrau is now known as Xenothaulus
01:57 < Xenothaulus> Yes I can.
01:57 <@solios> Oh, wait.
01:57 <@solios> it's you.
01:57 < Xenothaulus> See?
01:57 < Xenothaulus> I was being Jackie Chan.
01:57 <@solios> You blam your nuts on objects six feet away.
01:57 <@solios> * solios walks by desk
01:57 <@solios> * Xenothaulus walks by desk
01:57 < Xenothaulus> Yes, but in this case, I was attempting to use the belt as nunchuka.
01:57 * Xenothaulus failes
01:57 <@solios> * Xenothaulus blams nuts
01:58 < Xenothaulus> * desk wins
01:58 <@solios> I think it was personal.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> I'm sure it was.
01:58 <@solios> Also, the deck at my parents house.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> It was Heckrote's desk, after all.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> Yeah, that too.
01:58 <@solios> you're lucky you didn't uberblam.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> I almost did.
01:58 < Xenothaulus> I thought I popped it.
01:59 <@solios> like a zit?
01:59 < Xenothaulus> and where the fuck's your umlaut?
01:59 < Xenothaulus> No, like a Richard dropped from 20 m.
01:59 < Xenothaulus> Wait
01:59 < Xenothaulus> No, that would be GAME OVER.
01:59 < Xenothaulus> .
01:59 * solios giggles.
02:00 <@goodbye> hm. samba is giving me trouble on my box.
02:00 < Xenothaulus> The next time I wake up, I'mma email Hawking and ask him what would happen.
02:00 <@goodbye> >:|
02:00 <@solios> Xenothaulus: what, richard blamming his nuts from 20m up?
02:01 < Xenothaulus> Dear Mr. "Holy fuck you're cool too bad you're all fucked up and all and in a wheelchair" Hawking:
02:01 < Xenothaulus> What would happen if a man who weighed all your pounds were dropped from 20m up?
02:01 < Xenothaulus> Thank you,
02:01 < Xenothaulus> Xeno
02:01 <@solios> Xenothaulus: you're the only man I know that can roll a car, land on your nads and be otherwise fine.
02:01 <@solios> You're like a cat that way.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> See?
02:01 <@solios> nads first.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> I am immortal.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> I have inside me blood of kings.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> I have no rival.
02:01 < Xenothaulus> No man can be my equal.
02:01 <@solios> !
02:02 < Xenothaulus> Or, "I am Matron Baen- THWOP!"
02:02 <@solios> * Queen blams Xenothaulus's nuts.
02:02 <@solios> !@#2oi44riurfghjk!.
02:02 * Xenothaulus wins.
02:02 <@solios> Yes.
02:02 <@solios> Yes, you do.
02:02 <@solios> omfg.
02:02 * solios gets his breathing under control.
02:03 <@solios> OH ADVENTURERS!
02:03 < Xenothaulus> lol
02:03 < Xenothaulus> What's funniest about that is that he constantly mis-quoted it.
02:04 < Xenothaulus> "Oh, turn back adventurers! Don't add your deaths upon miiiiiiiiiine!"
02:04 < Xenothaulus> ...
02:04 < Xenothaulus> What's saddest about that is that I know that...
02:04 * Xenothaulus goes to bed
02:04 -!- Xenothaulus is now known as Xenothaulus_zzzzz
02:04 <@solios> i figured you would.
02:04 <@solios> I sure didn't.
02:04 < Xenothaulus_zzzzz> I'll make sure you do someday.
02:05 < Xenothaulus_zzzzz> Actually.
02:07 <@solios> FUCK.

< Xenothaulus> HAL est mort...
< solios_comic> POO!
< solios_comic> What killed it?
< Xenothaulus> I don't know.
< solios_comic> Just BZERT! >_< ?
< Xenothaulus> I pushed power and it went POOMmrrrrnnnnP *smoke*
< solios_comic> You let.
< solios_comic> The MAGIC SMOKE
< solios_comic> OUT?!
< solios_comic> omfg.
< Xenothaulus> Um, I didn't *let* anything.
< Xenothaulus> It just up and left.
< Xenothaulus> So I tried restarting it and got BEEP BEEP BEEP
< Xenothaulus> Kept expecting that damn Feiss chick to come walking in.
< Xenothaulus> So I call the place HAL was born and when the tech support guy started talking, I said, "Shhh." and held the phone to pc speaker.
< Xenothaulus> Left it there while I went and got a soda.
< Xenothaulus> Came back.
< Xenothaulus> Picked up the phone.
< Xenothaulus> Said, "Well?"
< Xenothaulus> TechSupportd00d: Your RAM is fuxx0red.
< Xenothaulus> Me: ...
< Xenothaulus> TechSupportd00d: Turn it off, open the case, and see if the ramstick is seated correctly.
< Xenothaulus> Me: There. Was. FIRE.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: ...
< Xenothaulus> TSd: No there wasn't.
< solios_comic> ...
< Xenothaulus> Me: No, I assure you, I know fire when I see it. It was orange and blue and sparky smelling.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Well, make sure you unplug it too then.
< Xenothaulus> Me: o_O
< Xenothaulus> * me does this thing.
< Xenothaulus> * me restarts HAL
< Xenothaulus> * HAL boots
< Xenothaulus> * HAL gives Missing critical file: C:/WINDOWS/SYSTEM/SYSTEM32
< Xenothaulus> Me: O_O
< Xenothaulus> * me reinstalls XP
< Xenothaulus> XP: No.
< Xenothaulus> Me: YES GODDAMMIT!!
< Xenothaulus> XP: :P
< Xenothaulus> * HAL dies
< solios_comic> o_O
< Xenothaulus> *spooky scary music* BSOD OMFG!!!!
< solios_comic> O_o
< Xenothaulus> Pagefile_something_or_other_fuck_you_and_your_ram
< Xenothaulus> * me calls TechSupportd00d
< Xenothaulus> Me: Remember me, you fucker?
< Xenothaulus> TSd: ...
* solios_comic giggles.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Did it work?
< Xenothaulus> Me: NO IT DIDN'T FUCKING WORK YOU FUCKING PIECE SHIT!!! *gasp* *pant*
< Xenothaulus> TSd: BSOD?
< solios_comic> hee hee.
< Xenothaulus> Me: ...
< Xenothaulus> Me: Yes.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Pagefile something or other?
< Xenothaulus> Me: Yes.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Your RAM is fuxx0red. I believe I said that before.
< Xenothaulus> Me: I KEEL YOU!
< solios_comic> So pull the blown chip.
< solios_comic> Pantysniffer.
< Xenothaulus> TSd: Have a nice day, and thank you for choosing ibuypower.
< Xenothaulus> *click*
< solios_comic> I blew a processor last night.
< solios_comic> So there.
< Xenothaulus> See, HAL only HAS one chip.
< solios_comic> ...
< solios_comic> USER.
< Xenothaulus> So he's ooc until I can get another one.
< solios_comic> :P
< Xenothaulus> No.
* Xenothaulus has !$$$
< Xenothaulus> However, I've now got about $250 to use.
< solios_comic> o_o
< Xenothaulus> $$$ I WAS planning to use for a new HD.
< Xenothaulus> Now I'mma buy 3 512s and slap in there.
< Xenothaulus> That'll learn 'im.
< Xenothaulus> Oh, and before I called them, I thought mebbe it was teh CMOS battery, as this same symptom happened to our old comp and that's what it was.
< Xenothaulus> So I'm like GROOVY, I can fix this.
< Xenothaulus> * me goes to RadioShack.
< Xenothaulus> Me: Have CMOS batteries?
< Xenothaulus> Clerkgirl: I'm dumb.
< Xenothaulus> Me: ...
< Xenothaulus> * me leaves
< solios_comic> :D

[21.37.17] < Xenothaulus> check this out:
[21.37.20] < Xenothaulus> Barry stops in today
[21.37.23] < solios> !
[21.37.28] < solios> I TOLD YOU THE WORLD IS ENDING.
[21.37.32] < Xenothaulus> Barry: You're coming over on Sunday, right?
[21.37.36] < Xenothaulus> Me: ...
[21.37.41] < Xenothaulus> Barry: At noon.
[21.37.41] < solios> ?
[21.37.43] < Xenothaulus> Me: ...
[21.37.48] < Xenothaulus> Barry: And beer.
[21.37.48] < solios> ?
[21.37.51] < Xenothaulus> Me: Yes.
[21.37.55] < solios> ?!
[21.37.57] < Xenothaulus> Exuent Barry
[21.37.59] < Xenothaulus> :D
[21.38.02] < solios> !
[21.38.04] < solios> :D
[21.38.07] < solios> Barry++

[20.02.53] < Xenothaulus> !
[20.02.55] * Xenothaulus falls over
[20.04.23] < solios> ?
[20.04.31] < Xenothaulus> link

[20.05.43] < Xenothaulus> SHOULD BIDDING GO ABOVE $200.00 A SPECIAL BONUS OF ANOTHER DIESEL POWERED CHEVETTE WILL BE INCLUDED.
[20.05.44] < Xenothaulus> :D
[20.06.58] < Xenothaulus> THESE ARE TO BE PICKED UP WITHIN 10 DAYS OF CLOSE OF AUCTION, AND REMAINING PAYMENT IS DUE THEN.
[20.07.04] < Xenothaulus> CARS ARE LOCATED IN KELSO, WASHINGTON.
[20.07.08] < Xenothaulus> ROAD TRIP!!
[20.08.32] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: Who'd drive the third car?
[20.08.37] < Xenothaulus> Me: CHESTNUT!
[20.08.40] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: ...
[20.08.55] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: You really want to drive all the way out to Washington with BOTH of them in the car?
[20.09.03] < Xenothaulus> Me: We'd strap him to the roof.
[20.09.14] < Xenothaulus> Kaetlyn: Ooh, he'd like that! He could hit the other cars with sticks.

We now return you to your regularly scheduled broadcast.

When dreams and reality converge, it's messy and, usually, Bad Things ensue.

I used to think that such an occurance would be ideal.

What I've discovered is this: you can not have your cake and eat it too. And the emphasis should be on your cake, as you have to bake the fucking thing yourself. Usually, it turns to shite.

Currently, I'm at the bottom of the creativity barrel; more than I have ever been before. Desire for output has never been lower. In contrast, the need for it has never been greater.

So where from here? LoC needs completio- no, it requires completion. Completion requires my attendance and attention. Attendance and attention requires concentration and dedication, things I've never been good at to begin with.

[14.37.26] < solios> Also, LOC doesn't need completion. It needs to Exist.
[14.37.40] < solios> Which isn't something it's really doing. :P

We're working on that.

Starting NOW.

The ultimate distraction.
22:49, SS Beehive, 13 May 2k3.
Oi.

Feeling blah. Here for solace of a sort- the likelihood of me doing anything stupid here is extremely low. Containment breach, higher self kicking in as a pale voice on the horizon- the voice of reason, as it were. Pull your head out of your ass and think clearly for more than five seconds. Humor the powers that be and let's pretend that's possible, shall we? Maybe it'll work like depression- fake it long enough and you eventually realize you're out of it, off and moving.

I want an easy life, but it ain't gonna happen- so far, all attempts to make it such have resulted in stagnation or distraction. It's extremely easy to get diverted from goals or things that need to be done- the recent experience with video games is proof positive, the kicker. That bit of self-indulgance that finally proves the niggling shadow of a problem as that grisly 800lb gorilla that needs to please leave, thank you.

Balance. Given the situation I'm in- relationship, technology, materials- balance is lacking. The easy path is the usual option, and not one to be indulged overlong without consequence. File under obvious and let's keep moving. I'm on the wheel. Gotta keep focused, as it were.

There's a plan formulating as to how to get out of this, and it requires effort. At this point in time, energy is at amazingly low levels and such a thing will require a seemingly titanic amount of effort- akin to quitting smoking, for example. Dethroning the idiot kings and taking my own place at the helm of whatever the fuck it is I think I'm supposed to be doing is the ultimate goal, has been, will be. Always, distraction. Linux. Media. Video games. The internet. There's only so much you can shove up your face before you start juggling- a playstation means less time online, and more time sucked up by video games. Pick it up. Can't put it down- no reason to, yo! We're out of high school here- out of the realm of the so-called Real Responsibility, on to the time in our lives where we make our own path. Twenty two hours given to Square is twenty two hours not spent on Aeon, on LOC, on anything useful. One could argue burnout.

One could also argue that burnout is a motherfucking myth, thanks. One could follow this statement with the fact that a minor slack in a noteworthy area is all it takes to start sliding down into blah, it being a long, loooong time until anyone notices anything.

Slack is as subtle as nicotine, caffeine, sugar or cocaine. You don't notice it until it's not of you- then it's everywhere. When you have it, you're blind to it. Much like vehicles- as a pedestrian, they all look alike. They all blend together. Get a car and all of a sudden, that chunk of your life is popping up everywhere. You're spotting plymouth reliants like dandilions on the lawn because you have one and you're conditioned to looking for that silhouette in parking lots. Without that conditioning or familiarity, the symbol is nothing.

Blacken my life with all such needs, blacken my life.

The thing to do would be the thing that has been done in the past- this time less tangible. Workout for status and juggernaut capacity. Blind invocation for the ejection of all such blackness, leaving the field for where the action is, using the energy as a lever. Whupping the shit out of those barriers that hold you back. The murder's upon us and we are uplifted.

Built to erase.

So we're at a baseline of less than zero, where the negative is instinct. Video games. Shuffling computers. Wanking- in action, in method, in execution. In order to build the negative must be recognized and exsorcized. Banished. If you can't stand the heat, get your ass the everloving fuck out of the desert.

If this evil force can be stopped and destroyed, then the universe will be safe.

I am the only one in authority with the power to authorize the use of nuclear weapons. There is no other, none shall stand before me. No false gods. No false distractions. Some of the obstacles have made themselves obvious through the simple truism of "if it isn't productive, if it isn't satisfying, it's shit and must be destroyed." Burnout. The will is a high caliber weapon of mass destruction- bent against itself it destroys ambition, recognition and progress in a glaze of slack with an AK-47 loaded with a magazine of false excuses- burnout, I don't feel like it, I'm sick, someone else needs to do this before I can get going with my part- on full automatic.

It looks pretty goddamned embarassing to be losing the war against self. The seige perilous is a masteful subterfuge- an infiltration and assault of the blackest order. Difficult to seige the enemy when the regiment is built out of the harmonics which connect your mind to your material existance. Line noise. Feedback. Signal loss. Losing packets. Pingout. Power fluctuations. Annoyance.

Talk talk talk. Bitch piss moan. Spell out the problem and neglect the solution- I am, after all, taking the refuge necessary to write this from a place known for exactly that. Far be it for me to expect a free ride- gotta pay lip service to the piper and output the background radiation. I am surrounded by unknowing throngs of slack. I know better, which means shit in this case since I'm in the same goddamned boat. Visceral satisfaction in the aspect that I do seem to be the only one looking for an oar.

Break for reload and a discussion of a less upscale hole-in-the-wall in ghettysburgh. Easier than attempting to ascertain the woes of my somewhat shot in the face linux system. Yet another distraction, but an apt analogy- Life, much like Linux, is a more or less functional default install and requires a prodiguous amount of tweaking and research to align the system to a useable state.

A plan has manifested. It's a dangerous one from the "how I'm going to feel tomorrow" standpoint, but it's the only thing worth doing- the only thing that occurs with that familiar burning sensation. In fact, the plan IS that familiar burning sensation. Productive self destruction. Stretch thoroughly, get moving, feel the burn. These boots were built for walking- we'll see how they handle city concrete at a much faster pace.

The idea is to purge to null. Exhaust. Burn out. You have to tear down before you can begin to build up again- simple fact of body construction. Healthy body, healthy life. The decline of physicality has brought with it the nest of ick that is the present state of affairs. If history reads that physical conditioning and productivity existed within the same time frame, then there is absolutely nothing to lose by attempting to invoke a repeat occurance of this phenomenon.

The plan, as a base, is simple. Get home. Gear up. Go out. Burn out. Return. Shower. Report back.

1318 the next day:

Went jogging. Quite a bit. Came back and did Things. By the book and on the record, recorded and annotated. Blam.

No one can touch me when I'm on the wheel.

[20.50] < solios> o_o
[20.50] < solios> O_o
[20.50] < solios> o_O
[20.50] < solios> okay.
[20.50] < solios> gimme a hand here.
[20:51] * Xenothaulus applauds
[20.51] < solios> ...
[20.51] < solios> assrabbit.
[20:51] < Xenothaulus> I know.
[20:51] < Xenothaulus> fuck
[20:51] < Xenothaulus> I just spewed beer shrapnel all over my keyboard
[20.52] < solios> mmmmm.... beer shrapnel.
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> lol
[20.52] < solios> Dualist is appropriate, damnit.
[20.52] < solios> k?
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> !k
[20.52] < solios> >:|
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> Oh
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> DuAlist
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> ...
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> !Duelist, eh?
[20.52] < solios> Yes.
[20:52] * Xenothaulus dies
[20.52] < solios> Dualist.
[20.52] < solios> It's a FUCKING PUN.
[20:52] < Xenothaulus> I notice things better when I'm !sober

[17.49] < @solios> Xenothaulus: tell everyone about Dan Hinder Kool Aid.
[17:49] < Xenothaulus> DAN HINDER KOOL-AID WILL KILL YOU.
[17:49] < Xenothaulus> That is all.

[22:03] * Xenothaulus_Tanked thinks that when you drop the next beer and it explodes, it's a definate sign.
[22.06] < debacle> Explodes?
[22.06] < debacle> A sign of what?
[22:06] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> Ex
[22:06] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> plodes
[22:06] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> A sign that mebbe you should quit while you're ahead
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> I DROPPED IT.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> A LOT
[22.07] < debacle> Or while you can walk.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> Talk to solios: I can walk. Period.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> It takes an ASSLOAD of Genny to get me drunk.
[22:07] < Xenothaulus_Tanked> I'm working on assload*2 right now :|
[22.07] < debacle> Hey, what you do with your beer is your business.

For further info, see Beer

And for the record, it didn't piss me off.

[20:46] * Xenothaulus_Genny grabs another Genny Ice
[20.46] < solios> Dude.
[20.46] < solios> you lost a ton of cool points right there.
[20.46] < solios> Genny is the shittiest shit they make that isn't literal shit.
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> You have no idea
[20.46] < solios> I mean, it's shit.
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> And you know I've drank Genny since the beginning
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> So has your dad
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> g00b
[20.46] < solios> Like my dad.
[20:46] < Xenothaulus_Genny> :D
[20.46] < solios> indeed.
[20.46] < solios> It's still shit.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> It was $5.75/12
[20.47] < solios> MGD is worse.
[20.47] < solios> Dude.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> Yes, yes it is.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> Genny has to grow on you.
[20.47] < solios> Jacobs Best: Worst Beer Ever.
[20.47] < solios> Also, what does the price saY?
[20.47] < solios> remember the Gunsmokes?
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> If I'm drinking just to get trashed, gotta have Genny
[20.47] < solios> < Xeno> DUDE! BUCK FIDDY SEVEN A PACK OMFG!
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> Drinking because I like it: Michelob's Amberbock or something
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> rofl
[20.47] < solios> * Xeno lights up
[20.47] < solios> * smell_of_death fills the air.
[20.47] < solios> * solios dies.
[20.47] < solios> * Xeno dies.
[20:47] < Xenothaulus_Genny> * solios lights one too
[20.48] < solios> * solios dies some more.

[13.37] < solios> Blog sometihng about the fact that my net connection is about as fast as that old guy in the yellow jeep.
[13:37] < Xenothaulus> ...
[13:37] < Xenothaulus> No.

[14.49] < solios> Alvin.
[14.49] < solios> that's his name.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> ...
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> I hate you
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> I wonder if he's still around?
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> Probably is.
[14.49] < solios> No.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> I think he just lived in the jeep and drove the block.
[14.49] < solios> He's kadead.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> Excellent.
[14.49] < solios> I think he slowed down so much that time forgot about him.
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> What happen, jeep run out of adsljfas;dlgjfasd;lfk
[14:49] < Xenothaulus> l;jk
[14:50] < Xenothaulus> sd
[14:50] < Xenothaulus> .
[14:50] * Xenothaulus dies
[14.51] < solios> I figured it had something to do with the Chipmunks, but I couldn't remember for the life of me.
[14:52] < Xenothaulus> ...

In regards to the track "Dark Star" by Delerium, which sounds like The Noise back home- The Noise having been explained at one time as a doppler effect of the highway running through the mountains. Why The Noise happened 24/7 in light of dead atmospheric conditions with no vehicles on the road is a matter left to the reader.

19:57 < solios> !!
19:57 < solios> Dude.
19:57 < solios> Delerium : Dark Star.
19:57 < solios> GO.
19:57 < solios> LUBB.
19:57 < solios> OMFG.
19:58 < Xenothaulus> I KEEL YOU!
19:58 < Xenothaulus> Dark Star...
19:58 * Xenothaulus mutters
19:58 < solios> No.
19:58 < solios> No movie samples.
19:58 < solios> It sounds like the Woods.
19:58 < solios> Out Back.
19:58 < Xenothaulus> ...
19:58 < solios> Near There.
19:58 * Xenothaulus mutters and GIBBERS
19:59 < solios> Dude.
19:59 < solios> It's LOC with a dash of Nosgoth.

20:16 < Xenothaulus> My computer should get some kind of award for being such an
assnugget
20:16 * solios falls over.
20:16 < Xenothaulus> I told it to play ... er... uh...
20:16 < Xenothaulus> okay dude
20:16 < Xenothaulus> NO
20:16 * Xenothaulus turns it off.
20:16 < solios> ....
20:16 < solios> what?
20:16 < Xenothaulus> Dude, that's the worst thing I've ever heard.
20:16 < solios> skip 2 minutes in.
20:17 < Xenothaulus> You fucking sick piece of shit bastard.
20:17 < Xenothaulus> No
20:17 < Xenothaulus> You don't understand.
20:17 < solios> ...
20:17 < solios> WHAT?!
20:17 < Xenothaulus> Allow me to continue my story.
20:17 < Xenothaulus> I told the HAL to play Dark Star.
20:17 < solios> k
20:17 < Xenothaulus> He promptly replied with "There is no disk in drive a:\"
20:17 < solios> Sweet.
20:18 < Xenothaulus> So I was laughing my ass off and proceeded to type to you about it
20:18 < Xenothaulus> Then it went ahead and played anyway
20:18 < solios> so what's wrong with that?
20:18 < Xenothaulus> ...
20:18 < Xenothaulus> I honestly think it triggered some kind of flashback or something.

Naturally, it's suggested anyone with a taste for ambient music who wants a well-produced facsimile of The Noise should track down the song. The album is "Faces, Forms and Illusions", which is altogether too fitting.

More on The Noise some other time. Maybe along with The Lights. And The Smell.