22:27 <xeno> i'mma bottle up some of this poogas and send it to you
22:27 <xeno> it's BAD.
22:27 <xeno> like, the worst ever
22:27 <solios> O_o
22:27 <xeno> i wish i knew what the hell i ate that caused it
22:27 <solios> I have enough of my own, kthks.
22:27 <xeno> no, you don't
22:28 <xeno> this is pretty much constant
22:28 <solios> only reason I'm over here instead of getting my futonenbook on is I don't want to funk out the bed.
22:28 <xeno> not 10 seconds go by without PWEEP
22:28 <xeno> they've started to HURT, that's how bad it is
22:28 <solios> you need to build some kind of windmill into your chair.
22:28 <solios> on the bottom.
22:28 <xeno> it's not gas, it's vapour
22:28 <solios> and couple it to your gpu.
22:28 <solios> ew.
22:28 <xeno> these ones don't have enough force to drive it
22:28 <solios> hurtfarts. >_<
22:29 <solios> haven't had those in awhile.
22:29 <xeno> they just kind of go "fwuf" and instantly, the room dies
22:29 <solios> :D
22:29 <xeno> it's BAD i tell you
22:29 <xeno> i'm soaking in it
22:29 <xeno> my SCROT hurts from them. :|
22:29 <solios> >.<
22:30 <xeno> the worst part is, i think i need to shit
22:30 <xeno> and i really really REALLY don't want to
22:31 <xeno> it'll be like the poogas, squared
22:31 <solios> or.
22:31 <solios> it'll be a peanut.
22:31 <xeno> no, it won't
22:31 <solios> and you'll wipe for six hours.
22:32 <xeno> it's gonna come out like an MRE through a wood chipper
22:32 <solios> naw.
22:32 <xeno> no, it is
22:32 <xeno> i can feel it
22:32 <solios> it's gonna come out like molasses through a meatgrinder.
22:32 <xeno> there's about 4 pounds of gas behind it
22:32 <solios> the kind of shit that doesn't get in the toilet.
22:32 <solios> it just spreads out across your ass and nads and slowly evaporates.
22:32 <solios> :|
22:33 <xeno> no, it's gonna blow i'm telling you
22:33 <xeno> BLOOF
22:33 <xeno> i'll probably be launched
22:33 <solios> well.
22:33 <solios> go shit.
22:33 <solios> and we'll compare notes.
22:33 <xeno> NO.
22:34 <solios> ...
22:34 <solios> point.
22:34 <xeno> blast.
22:34 * xeno goes
22:34 <solios> that did sound all 31 flavors of ghey.
22:38 <xeno> ...
22:38 <solios> well?
22:38 <xeno> I hate you.
22:38 <solios> it was molasses, wasn't it?
22:39 <xeno> no.
22:39 <xeno> < ass> plup
22:39 <xeno> < xeno> ...
22:39 <solios> peanut?
22:39 <xeno> < ass> ...
22:39 <xeno> < xeno> well?
22:39 <solios> peanut.
22:39 <xeno> < ass> i'm done.
22:39 <xeno> < xeno> you'r-
22:39 <solios> ROFFLEHAUS
22:39 <xeno> < ass> ffffffffffT
22:39 <xeno> < xeno> ...
22:40 <xeno> it sucked.
22:40 <xeno> SO MUCH.
22:40 <xeno> like trying to scrape peanut butter off my ass
22:40 <xeno> HALF. A. ROLL.
22:40 <solios> 22:31 <solios> it'll be a peanut.
22:40 <solios> 22:31 <xeno> no, it won't
22:40 <solios> 22:31 <solios> and you'll wipe for six hours.
22:40 <xeno> die.
22:41 <solios> it bothers me that I know your ass better than you do.
22:41 <xeno> ...

15:43 <@xeno> < xeno> Steven, do you stink?
15:43 <@solios> ejp: er.
15:43 <@xeno> * steven rips off pants and diaper
15:43 <@solios> XD
15:43 <@xeno> * steven points at ass
15:43 <@xeno> < steven> STINK!!!!
15:43 <@solios> fd.kgsjkl
15:43 <@xeno> < steven> BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
15:43 <@xeno> * steven runs around
15:43 <@solios> omg
15:43 <@xeno> * steven jumps on harley
15:43 <@solios> he's so totally yours.
15:43 <@xeno> < steven> STINK STINK STINK STINK STINK STINK STINK STINK!
15:44 <@xeno> every STINK punctuated by another jump
15:44 <@xeno> :D
15:44 <@solios> fagbot: doot for Steven, Son of Xeno, Duke of Ass
15:44 <+fagbot> DUDE ARE YOU A FAG OR WHAT?
15:44 <@solios> omg
15:44 <@solios> did harley get POO on him?
15:44 <@xeno> YES.
15:44 <@solios> dfkl;jsh
15:44 <@solios> awesome.
15:44 <@_Lasar> * xeno sits there and relates the tale unfolding around him at this moment without intervening.
15:45 <@xeno> < harley> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAGGGH GET HIM OFFA ME HE'S ALL COVERED IN SHI- <big>SHIT HE GOT IT ON ME GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!</big>
15:45 <@xeno> * harley runs upstairs and dives into the shower
15:45 <@xeno> no, this happened already
15:45 <@xeno> it's been Taken Care Of :|
15:45 <@xeno> because he also got it on the couch
15:45 <@_Lasar> Heh.
15:45 <@xeno> and the floor
15:45 <@xeno> and his hands
15:45 <@xeno> and his hair
15:45 <@solios> >_<
15:46 <@solios> did he get any on the ceiling?
15:46 <@xeno> no
15:46 <@solios> :|
15:46 <@ejp> why are you training an army of mutant poo ninjas?
15:46 <@xeno> it was... rather pasty and thick
15:46 <@solios> he needs practice.
15:46 <@xeno> ejp: TO RULE THE WORLD

21:29 <xeno> i think i just got bonus points
21:29 <solios> ?
21:29 <xeno> unfortunately, they were in nugget form
21:29 <xeno> :|
21:29 <solios> brump?
21:29 <xeno> no
21:30 <solios> flerk?
21:30 <xeno> more like plorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrFLUMP
21:30 <solios> splitch?
21:30 <solios> :o
21:30 <xeno> it was a real nice and quiet one, all Mt-St-Helensy
21:30 <xeno> then I had ejection :|
21:30 <solios> splitch?
21:31 <xeno> no
21:31 <xeno> it was Solid
21:32 <solios> how solid?
21:32 <solios> like, crayola? Cinderblock?
21:32 <xeno> enough so i was able to shake my leg a bit and then just pick it up and toss it out the door
21:33 <solios> :o
21:33 <solios> sweet.
21:33 <solios> those are the best ones.

[22.20.28] < solios_> it still cracks me up that your ass made all of your town sick.
[22.20.32] < xeno> :D
[22.20.35] < xeno> it's awesome
[22.20.45] < xeno> i went out to wal-mart earlier, and they're STILL out of immodium
[22.21.03] < solios_> my logic is that since the sewage plants did it, and your POO ends up in ONE OF THEM, well....
[22.21.28] < solios_> fagbot: doot for xeno's ass wiping out lock haven
[22.21.29] < fagbot> ruined a perfectly good oyster fork, too
[22.21.34] < solios_> >_<
[22.21.35] < xeno> daslfjasdf
[22.21.37] < xeno> XD
[22.21.59] < xeno> <- dying
[22.22.22] < xeno> solios_: not ALL of my poo ends up there.
[22.22.34] < solios_> well, the poo that actually makes it into the toilet.
[22.22.55] < solios_> I really don't want to know what you do with the rest of it. :|
[22.23.02] < xeno> >:D
[22.23.06] < xeno> i have jars.
[22.23.06] < solios_> :|
[22.23.12] < xeno> and a shoebox for the lumpier ones.
[22.23.12] < solios_> rljkdfhgfjjgdjkfdl;gjk
[22.23.16] < solios_> sdklrgj.

[13.07.44] < xeno> so i gave Steven a pb sammich for lunch
[13.08.00] < xeno> he grabbed it, both hands, and didn't just tear it in half, he fucking SHREDDED IT
[13.08.10] < solios> :o
[13.08.15] < solios> < steven> chortle.
[13.08.21] < xeno> then he threw both hands out to his sides, flinging peanut butter shrapnel EVERYWHERE
[13.08.29] < solios> :D
[13.08.45] < xeno> then he put his pb-besotten hands on top of his head and began cleaning them using his hair
[13.09.38] < xeno> oh fuck
[13.09.38] < xeno> awdfj
[13.09.51] < xeno> >_<
[13.09.55] < solios> ?
[13.09.57] < xeno> he Febrezed himself...
[13.10.00] < xeno> a LOT
[13.10.06] < solios> O_o
[13.11.03] < xeno> ...
[13.11.07] < xeno> and i discovered why
[13.11.12] < xeno> i got near him and nearly gagged
[13.11.17] < xeno> he smells like a sewer
[13.11.30] < solios> nice.
[13.11.32] < xeno> no wonder he couldn't eat
[13.11.36] < solios> dunk him in the sink.
[13.11.39] < xeno> < xeno> Steven, do you stink?
[13.11.47] < xeno> * steven looks at his ass
[13.11.51] < xeno> * steven stares
[13.11.57] < xeno> * steven nods emphatically
[13.12.05] < xeno> < steven> STINK! DADA!
[13.12.10] < xeno> * steven points at stairs
[13.12.18] < solios> uyfffffhgkjhgffbkjx,.
[13.12.31] < xeno> :D
[13.12.38] < solios> :D
[13.12.41] < solios> steven++

continue reading "Poopin' : The Next Generation"

23:07 < xeno> i need to invent a term for the exact polar opposite of a singularity
23:07 < xeno> besides "my ass."
23:07 < Drusilla> why?
23:07 < xeno> is ytiralugnis pronouncable?
23:08 < xeno> EE TEERA LUG NISS
23:08 < xeno> yes,.
23:08 < xeno> yes it is.
23:08 < solios> yuteeralugnis.
23:08 < solios> LUGNIS
23:08 * xeno falls over
23:08 < solios> it's like LINGUS.
23:09 < xeno> Drusilla: because
23:09 < xeno> my ass is the exact opposite of one, you see
23:09 < solios> oh, that.
23:09 < solios> yeah.
23:09 < solios> actually.
23:10 < solios> cornocopia.
23:10 < xeno> anything that gets near it is aiosdfjals;kdfasdfaksljgfaslgdjfa;slkhtgoaeinvoiasffgnoi4w
23:10 < xeno> solios++
23:10 < solios> fagbot: xeno's ass is also a cornocopia
23:10 < fagbot> okay, solios.
23:10 < xeno> fagbot: my ass?
23:10 < fagbot> i guess your ass is DOOM. or a cornocopia
23:10 < Drusilla> solios: STOP GETTING SONGS STUCK IN MY HEAD

21:51 < fagbot> POLICE! POLICE! HE HIT MOM AND GROPED MY SAC! I HAVE VIDEO!
21:53 < xeno_passed_out> mmm, sac
21:53 < xeno_passed_out> !
21:53 * xeno_passed_out passes out some more
21:53 < ejp> o_O
21:53 < solios> o_o
21:53 < solios> xeno++
21:53 < solios> I'll bet he's pr0ning.
21:53 < solios> :|
21:54 < xeno_passed_out> nope
21:54 < xeno_passed_out> eating tootsie rolls
21:54 < solios> :o
21:54 < solios> SHAKE IT
21:54 < solios> SHAKE IT
21:54 < solios> SHAKE THAT TOOTSIE ROLL
21:54 < xeno_passed_out> XD
21:54 < xeno_passed_out> godammit

08:59 < solios> omg.
08:59 < solios> dood.
08:59 < solios> I pooped.
08:59 < solios> it was awesome.
08:59 < solios> < solios> >_<
08:59 < solios> < ass> PLARP   phuphuphupple     pooot.
09:00 < solios> < oregano> PEEKABOO!
09:00 < vai> * freud has angina
09:00 < solios> no, dude.
09:00 < solios> my shit smelled like eleven herbs and spices.
09:00 < solios> :D

[01.00.27] < xeno> dude
[01.00.41] < xeno> supper was kielbasa, sauerkraut and beer
[01.00.48] < xeno> i'm a goddamn power plant
[01.01.00] < xeno> fucking near assphixiated myself on the way to wal-mart
[01.01.07] < xeno> < ass> freep
[01.01.12] < xeno> < xeno> wha-
[01.01.16] < xeno> < xeno> !!!!!!!!!!!!
[01.01.25] < solios> :D
[01.01.27] < xeno> * xeno smashes window out for oxygen
[01.01.33] < xeno> dude
[01.01.36] < xeno> it was so fucking foul
[01.01.42] < solios> :D
[01.01.45] < solios> awesome.
[01.01.49] < xeno> i swear the air in the van didn't change colour, it fucking LEFT
[01.01.58] < xeno> it was like, Fuck you, i'm outta here
[01.01.59] < solios> asjkldhf
[01.01.59] < solios> <- rofl
[01.03.01] < solios> I. HAVE. LAG.
[01.03.03] < solios> it sucks.
[01.03.03] < solios> :|
[01.03.54] < xeno> fuck you
[01.04.15] < xeno> you're bitching about lag, i'm over here drowning in my own poogas
[01.04.18] < xeno> you wanna know about lag?
[01.04.22] < xeno> i went upstairs to take a shit
[01.04.26] < xeno> didn't
[01.04.29] < xeno> came back down
[01.04.36] < xeno> then.
[01.04.37] < xeno> THEN.
[01.04.40] < xeno> I took a shit.
[01.04.46] < xeno> i swear I did.
[01.04.53] < xeno> there is no tangible physi- no, there is
[01.05.00] < xeno> you know that Aerogel stuff nasa has?
[01.05.01] < xeno> yeah
[01.05.03] < solios> lgkdjfhklj
[01.05.08] < solios> asshole.
[01.05.12] < solios> I think I pulled my face.

[01.06.05] < xeno> so I'm in the mudroom the other day, smoking
[01.06.18] < xeno> Steven's standing at the gate yelling at me, like he does
[01.06.22] < xeno> I lift my leg and fart
[01.06.30] < xeno> HE lifts /his/ leg and farts
[01.06.36] < solios> fjksdhg
[01.06.37] < xeno> then we both started maniacal laughter
[01.06.43] < xeno> and i thought Kelly was going to kill us
[01.06.44] < xeno> it pwned
[01.06.48] < solios> omg
[01.07.04] < xeno> it was one of the funniest fucking things ever
[01.07.10] < xeno> and kelly was like "..."
[01.07.13] < xeno> it was awesome
[01.07.13] < solios> :D

23:13 < solios> I already took a gigashit.
23:13 < xeno> uh...
23:13 < xeno> k.
23:13 < solios> And I feel like if I declench for a split second, there'll be another one.
23:13 < xeno> :o
23:13 < xeno> sounds like what I've been having for the past 3 days
23:14 < solios> But it's not the diarhhea OMFG >_< CRAMPKABLORT.
23:14 < xeno> yep
23:14 < solios> you ate a cheesesteak?
23:14 < solios> in Philly?
23:14 < xeno> it's CHUGGACHUGGACHUGGAPLOOMPFLOOBACHUGGABLOMPLAT
23:14 < xeno> and you'd swear you went with it
23:14 < xeno> and then, about an hour or less later, you do it again
23:14 < solios> dude, I had a cheesesteak yesterday (it's Philly. There's Rules) and since then my butt's been spraying like a cuisinart meat grinder.
23:15 < xeno> mmm, cuisinart

00:04 < xeno> fffffffffffffffffffP
00:04 < xeno> I hate those ones
00:06 < xeno> oh fuck
00:06 < xeno> SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY
00:06 < xeno> OOH OOH
00:06 < xeno> LIKE NO ONE ELSE
00:06 < xeno> OOH OOH
00:06 < xeno> SHE DRIVES ME CRAZY
00:06 < xeno> AND I CAN'T HELP MYSELF
00:07 < xeno> *NNNGGGNNNGGG*
00:07 < xeno> *NNTNNTNTNNTT*
00:07 < xeno> *NNNGGGNNGGG*

14:36 < ch> solios_bzf: Why do you have the foreword.com favicon?
14:37 <@_Lasar> Are you using Safari?
14:38 <@_Lasar> It has mixed up favicons from different sites for as long as I've used it.
14:38 < ch> FireFox.
14:38 <@_Lasar> Hm
14:38 < ch> on 2k.
14:38 <@_Lasar> Which of solios' sites?
14:38 < ch> mercury.
14:38 <@_Lasar> Don't see any favicon
14:39 < ch> *shrug*
14:39 < ch> I'd put it up somewhere, but I'm out of bandwidth.
15:08 <@solios_bzf> ch: it's in your cache from when hastur was >_<
15:08 -!- You're now known as solios
15:11 < ch> pooping?
15:14 <@solios> was.
15:15 <@solios> now I'm duplicating.
15:15 < ch> You're pooping too?
15:15 <@solios> was.
15:16 < ch> ick.
15:16 <@solios> yeah.
15:16 < ch> *PLaRP*

[01.41.51] < solios> so.
[01.41.55] < solios> I took a doompewp.
[01.41.58] < xeno> !
[01.42.05] < solios> which was, it runs out, a priming charge for the deathdump.
[01.42.11] < xeno> :O
[01.42.11] < solios> and thee's two squares of tp left.
[01.42.12] < xeno> er.
[01.42.13] < solios> SQUARES.
[01.42.13] < xeno> :X
[01.42.21] < xeno> heh
[01.42.24] < xeno> I hate it when that happens
[01.42.30] < xeno> socks work pretty good, I've found
[01.42.45] < solios> mine are all black.
[01.42.50] < xeno> even better
[01.42.56] < xeno> don't have to throw them away after
[01.42.57] < solios> no.
[01.43.04] < xeno> just let them dry and then brush off the crumbs
[01.43.06] < solios> I wouldn't know if my ass is clean or not.
[01.43.29] < xeno> hmm
[01.43.35] < xeno> magazinen?
[01.43.43] < solios> heh.
[01.43.46] < solios> no.
[01.43.48] < solios> :|
[01.43.54] < xeno> hmm
[01.43.55] < solios> I'll hold it.
[01.43.57] < xeno> printer paper?
[01.44.00] < solios> and drop the bomb at work tomorrow.
[01.44.02] < solios> :D
[01.44.08] < xeno> ...
[01.44.14] < solios> clear out the entire level, I think.
[01.44.14] < xeno> you're going to hold it for HOURS?
[01.44.22] < solios> sure.
[01.44.24] < solios> I have cheese.
[01.44.42] < xeno> well, that's not going to scoot past the already-there poo and make a cork you know.
[01.44.50] < xeno> it's just going to block off anymore of it
[01.45.05] < xeno> so the rest will be chillin' in your colon and escape while you're sleeping
[01.45.07] < solios> and it's more the GRUNKRUNKKAFLUB of solid chunks bouncing around than it is the fllllllllllllllllllllllergrupple of some seriously nasty shit.
[01.45.15] < xeno> ah
[01.45.20] < xeno> well that's not so bad then
[01.45.28] < solios> not really.
[01.45.38] < solios> the deathpewp was like this:
[01.45.40] < solios> >_<
[01.45.41] < xeno> although, i once held a poo for 3 days and it ended up stuck
[01.45.42] < solios> O_O
[01.45.45] < solios> >_< !
[01.45.49] < solios> >_< !!!!!!!
[01.45.52] < solios> < ass> ?
[01.45.56] < solios> >_< !
[01.45.59] < solios> < ass> oh.
[01.46.04] < solios> * ass >_<
[01.46.15] < solios> * ass plip.
[01.46.24] < solios> < colon> florg.
[01.46.32] < solios> :|
[01.46.35] < solios> heh.
[01.46.40] < solios> I held my poo for four h camp once.
[01.46.43] < solios> like, all of it.
[01.46.49] < solios> :|
[01.46.58] < xeno> latrines don't bother me
[01.47.05] < xeno> it's pooping without something to poop in that does
[01.47.14] < xeno> I was on a "rough-camping" trip
[01.47.39] < xeno> which meant going to the PA Grand Canyon, walking into the woods for about 5 miles and plopping down a tent
[01.48.00] < xeno> and, of course, no one had brought any toilet paper
[01.48.21] < xeno> "When you are roughing it, you use leaves. Now, hand me a beer from that cooler over there."
[01.49.00] < xeno> by the time I'd gotten to a bathroom, it was peeking out like a shy turtle
[01.49.10] < xeno> and it all came out at once
[01.49.24] < xeno> like, one big boob-sized shitball
[01.49.28] < solios> BLAM! ?
[01.49.34] < xeno> < xeno> nnnnnnnnnggggggggGGGHHHHHHHHHH
[01.49.35] < solios> mmm.
[01.49.36] < solios> boobs.
[01.49.41] < xeno> < ass> BOOM
[01.49.53] < xeno> < toilet> *tsunami*
[01.50.05] < xeno> < bathroom> *flood*
[01.50.23] < xeno> it was kind of like dropping a basketball into the toilet bowl from about 5 feet up
[01.50.36] < xeno> a basketball made out of depleted uranium
[01.51.21] < solios> rofl
[01.51.24] < solios> sweet.

[00.41.07] < solios> xeno: fart in eric's general direction.
[00.41.09] < solios> Oh, wait.
[00.41.10] < xeno> yar
[00.41.12] < solios> I'm between you and him.
[00.41.13] < solios> :|
[00.41.14] < xeno> <- omnifart
[00.41.22] < solios> Verily.
[00.41.34] < xeno> solios: i can ricochet off of robinson
[00.41.44] < solios> O.o
[00.41.46] < solios> hit it.
[00.41.54] < xeno> FRUMP
[00.42.06] < solios> ejp: you're in for it now.
[00.42.07] < xeno> I love eating beef stew
[00.42.24] < xeno> afterwards, my ass sounds like mortar sound effects for days
[00.42.41] < @ejp> o_O

21:16 < solios> fagbot: doot for xeno
21:16 < fagbot> christ, that actually made me fart

23:13 < solios> doot for sphincterspasmy !goodness.
23:13 < fagbot> WORK IT HONEY

10:50 < @solios> that still gives me the giggles.
10:51 < @xeno> oh yeah, speaking of which
10:51 < @xeno> I solved that
10:51 < @solios> ?
10:51 < @xeno> pork tenderloin
10:51 < @xeno> we had that for dinner last night
10:51 < @xeno> I DIDN'T POOP AT ALL YESTERDAY
10:51 < @solios> Did your ass blam?
10:51 < @xeno> this morning:
10:51 < @xeno> * xeno sleeps
10:51 < @xeno> < ass> hey
10:51 < @xeno> * xeno still sleeps
10:51 < @xeno> < ass> ahem
10:51 < @xeno> * xeno rolls over
10:52 < @xeno> < ass> mmph rrffff mmmp
10:52 < @solios> asdf
10:52 < @xeno> * xeno wakes up
10:52 < @xeno> < xeno> wha?
10:52 < @xeno> * ass thweeps
10:52 < @xeno> * xeno gets out of bed
10:52 < @xeno> < ass> mmph mrr HEY!
10:52 < @xeno> < xeno> uh...
10:52 < @solios> o_o
10:53 < @xeno> < ass> you've got .3 seconds
10:53 < @xeno> < ass> start running
10:53 < @xeno> This morning was the second time I've flushed the toilet BY MY SELF
10:53 * solios dies
10:53 < @xeno> the first time was because of Amberbock
10:53 < @xeno> this time was because of pork tenderloin
10:53 < @xeno> :)
10:54 < @xeno> and it WASN'T liquid, either
10:54 < @solios> did you paint the bownl?
10:54 < @xeno> it was:
10:54 < @xeno> < xeno> brrrmmmmmmmmmmMMPH!
10:54 < @xeno> < ass> brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrROMLP!
10:54 < @solios> sdlkjflsj.
10:55 < @solios> so who won?
10:55 < @xeno> the effect was quite similar to what I imagine a bowling ball would do if dropped into a vessel of similar size from the top of the Empire State Building
10:55 < @xeno> Dunno.
10:55 < @xeno> I ran like hell and slammed the door behind me
10:55 < @xeno> I think they're still in there fighting

10:36 < @solios> My BG dude never got high enough to use FB.
10:36 < @solios> :|
10:36 < @xeno> it was too easy without it
10:36 < @solios> heh.
10:36 < @solios> but he was multiclassed.
10:37 < @xeno> I'd just wait until all the enemy surrounded my henchman, then target him for the blast radius
10:37 < @xeno> WHAMO
10:37 < @xeno> everything dead
10:37 < @solios> and multiclassed by STRICT SECOND ED RULES blows richard ass.
10:37 < @xeno> yeah
10:37 < @xeno> second ed rules blow, period
10:37 < @solios> One of the reasons my crew lurved me as DM.
10:37 < @xeno> for computer games at least
10:37 < @solios> The mutliclassed guys got experience dynamically allocated.
10:37 < @solios> %-based on the class they used more.
10:37 < @xeno> based on which class they had use- :)
10:37 < @xeno> right-o
10:38 < @xeno> that's the way it should be, but it's a logisitcal nightmare for most DMs
10:38 < @solios> It's easy to be a pleasing DM with rules.
10:38 < @solios> Naw.
10:38 < @solios> I kept the masters of character sheets.
10:38 < @solios> :)
10:38 < @solios> made it easier to keep straight.
10:38 < @solios> < player> WHYOMFG!
10:38 < @xeno> "let's see... you zapped this one with a magic missile, then whacked him with your sword. this one you backstabbed, then hit him with a lute... you prayed to this one and then made berries grow out of his ass..."
10:39 < @solios> < solios> consistency. And so I don't give away things by asking you your stats. :)
10:39 < @xeno> "I award you no experience, and may Ao have mercy on your soul."
10:39 < @solios> assberries!
10:39 < @solios> d4+1
10:39 < @xeno> range?
10:39 < @solios> variable.
10:40 < @solios> for the normal person, no.
10:40 < @xeno> if (user=xeno) range = YES
10:40 < @solios> but you have ASS FU.
10:40 < @solios> your range would be line of sight.
10:40 < @xeno> < xeno> k, I'mma use my assberries
10:40 < @xeno> * dm sighs
10:40 < @solios> kjdfshgfdjk.
10:40 < @xeno> < dm> Okay, roll 249823098769835732985 d6
10:40 < @solios> assberries > *
10:40 < @xeno> * xeno rolls
10:41 < @xeno> < dm> Congratulations, you've killed Toril
10:41 < @xeno> < xeno> Whoa. How much xp do I get for that?
10:41 < @xeno> < dm> Um, you were on it...
10:41 < @xeno> < xeno> >.<

07:40 < @xeno> know what I hate?
07:40 < @xeno> when you have to poop REALLY REALLY BAD
07:40 < @xeno> and you sit there
07:40 < @xeno> and sit there
07:40 < @xeno> and >.<
07:40 < @xeno> and O_O
07:40 < @xeno> and nothing happens
07:40 < @xeno> eventually, you strain so hard your eyes fly out across the room
07:40 <@xeno> :|

[02.33.39] < @xeno> GLORK
[02.33.43] < @xeno> >.<
[02.33.44] < @solios> :|
[02.33.56] * @solios giggles.
[02.34.08] < @xeno> it's terrible
[02.34.16] < @xeno> Kelly told me I have to start going Outside to do it.
[02.34.17] < @solios> :(
[02.34.25] < @xeno> And when I told her it's too cold out there, she hit me.
[02.34.29] < @solios> er.
[02.34.35] < @xeno> WITH A BROOM
[02.34.45] < @solios> wait.
[02.34.49] < @xeno> So now I open the door and just stick my ass out
[02.34.57] < @xeno> Figure it's too nasty to get frostbite.
[02.35.01] < @solios> so it's not just ass blammage.
[02.35.14] < @xeno> not yet
[02.35.20] < @xeno> I wish it was, so I could just get it over and done.
[02.35.29] < @xeno> But so far it's just been gas
[02.35.32] < @xeno> BAD gas
[02.35.38] < @solios> deathpoo?
[02.35.45] < @solios> I had that this morning.
[02.35.56] < @xeno> < ass> ffffffffffff
[02.36.00] < @xeno> < xeno> ...
[02.36.07] < @xeno> < ass> FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF I SAID
[02.36.10] < @xeno> * xeno dies
[02.36.35] < @xeno> they're the worst ones
[02.36.36] < @solios> < ass> CRUMBLORRRBLRUM. FAG.
[02.36.39] < @xeno> I call them creepers
[02.36.42] < @solios> * smell_of_DEATH fills room.
[02.36.45] < @xeno> They just sort of... escape
[02.36.57] < @xeno> And like, a few seconds later, I get a whiff
[02.37.09] < @xeno> And I'm like DAMMIT I MISSED THE LAUNCH!
[02.37.13] < @solios> >.<
[02.37.20] < @xeno> I tried blaming Steven and /HE/ hit me.
[02.37.22] < @xeno> :D
[02.37.28] < @solios> hahah.
[02.37.44] < @xeno> Dude, I'm serious
[02.37.47] < @xeno> They have to stay outside
[02.37.51] < @solios> cool.
[02.37.56] < @xeno> the fucking dog even left the room once
[02.38.04] < @solios> remember our fartathons?
[02.38.06] < @xeno> you /know/ that's bad, cause she fucking eats cow poo
[02.38.07] < @xeno> ...
[02.38.14] < @xeno> < dave> Ooooommmmm
[02.38.17] < @xeno> < dave> Oooommm
[02.38.20] < @xeno> < solios> INCOMING
[02.38.25] < @solios> jhfgsfhdkghjfsdgjfkghkjdfg.
[02.38.26] < @xeno> < solios> ka-BLAM!
[02.38.31] < @xeno> * everyone dies
[02.38.42] < @xeno> that was the single funniest fart ever.
[02.38.46] < @solios> hgmfnh.
[02.38.47] < @solios> omfg.
[02.38.50] < @xeno> it even instigated the need for a measurement system
[02.38.50] < @solios> <- rofl
[02.39.09] < @xeno> all farts from that point on have been measured in milliDans
[02.39.18] < @solios> dkjfsghkjghkjh.

[13.17.05]
[13.18.32] < Xenothaulus_ill> < Mom> Eat your vegetables.
[13.18.36] < Xenothaulus_ill> < me> No!
[13.18.44] < Xenothaulus_ill> < Mom> I. KNOW. Now eat up.
[13.18.52] < solios> fgsljkfdsf.
[13.18.57] < Xenothaulus_ill> See?
[13.19.11] < Xenothaulus_ill> Moms eviler than *
[13.19.15] < solios> Yeh.
[13.19.19] < solios> well, yours is.
[13.19.21] < Xenothaulus_ill> Damn moms...
[13.19.22] < Xenothaulus_ill> Yar
[13.19.24] < solios> you have teh ebilmom
[13.19.35] < Xenothaulus_ill> Yours made you koolaid milk and all your pizza
[13.19.38] < solios> carrots - carotatoxin (neurotxin)
[13.19.42] < Xenothaulus_ill> Yup
[13.19.45] < solios> NEUROTOXIN.
[13.19.48] < solios> fuck.
[13.19.51] < solios> >_<
[13.19.58] < solios> yeh. My mom's koo.
[13.19.59] < solios> :D
[13.20.00] < Xenothaulus_ill> Wonder how many "amateur chemists" are in their kitchen right now, trying to extract.
[13.20.25] < Xenothaulus_ill> Anywho, that's why I prefer raw veggies.
[13.20.36] < solios> dude.
[13.20.42] < solios> that whole LIST is raw veggies.
[13.20.46] < solios> and why they're BAD.
[13.20.48] < Xenothaulus_ill> Now.
[13.20.50] < Xenothaulus_ill> No even
[13.20.52] < Xenothaulus_ill> They're veggies.
[13.20.59] < solios> lfkdgjjjjjjp.
[13.21.06] < Xenothaulus_ill> The nasties can't escape the cell wall unless you boil them and break down the cellulose
[13.21.15] < Xenothaulus_ill> See, humans can't digest cellulose
[13.21.16] < solios> als, prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrripipipipipllebloop.
[13.21.27] < Xenothaulus_ill> It's why, when you eat lettuce, it comes out the same way it goes in.
[13.21.31] < Xenothaulus_ill> Take a look sometime.
[13.21.36] < solios> >_<
[13.21.47] < Xenothaulus_ill> Always know when someone's just hit up teh Bonanza.
[13.21.55] < solios> O_o
[13.22.01] < solios> you look at the poo?
[13.22.09] < Xenothaulus_ill> < someone> Burrtttitty burrtitty splat splat SPLAT!
[13.22.11] < Xenothaulus_ill> * me looks
[13.22.23] < Xenothaulus_ill> < me> Ooooh, you done ate at Bonanza, dincha?
[13.22.29] < solios> asdf
[13.22.36] * solios dies.
[13.22.48] < Xenothaulus_ill> It's true!
[13.23.01] < Xenothaulus_ill> Little lettuce leaves just sailing around in the toilet bowl.
[13.23.06] < Xenothaulus_ill> Sad waste of food.
[13.23.30] < Xenothaulus_ill> And the shite lettuce they use at salad bars is usually iceberg, so there was no nutrional value in it to begin with.
[13.23.43] < solios> suk
[13.23.45] < Xenothaulus_ill> yar
[13.23.53] < Xenothaulus_ill> Anyway, that's why I eat vegetables raw.
[13.23.57] < Xenothaulus_ill> To look at them after.

13:19 < Xenothaulus_ill> Always know when someone's just hit up teh Bonanza.
13:19 < solios> O_o
13:19 < solios> you look at the poo?
13:19 < Xenothaulus_ill> Burrtttitty burrtitty splat splat SPLAT!
13:19 < Xenothaulus_ill> * me looks
13:19 < Xenothaulus_ill> Ooooh, you done ate at Bonanza, dincha?
13:19 < solios> asdf
13:20 < Xenothaulus_ill> It's true!
13:20 < Xenothaulus_ill> Little lettuce leaves just sailing around in the toilet bowl.
13:20 < Xenothaulus_ill> Sad waste of food.
13:20 < Xenothaulus_ill> And the shite lettuce they use at salad bars is usually iceberg, so there was no nutrional value in it to begin with.
13:20 < solios> suk
13:21 < Xenothaulus_ill> yar
13:21 < Xenothaulus_ill> Anyway, that's why I eat vegetables raw.
13:21 < Xenothaulus_ill> To look at them after.