tin omen

moveable type
February 2004



Because it was either this or BZFlag.

Yay for tracing- I'll get something done with a site and get the strips moved there within the next couple of weeks. o_O



The Frontier

18:38 < solios> BLAM, MOTHERFUCKER!
18:38 * rjbs is a beta unit -- a perfect replica of Shawn, but not as loud.
18:39 < solios> hahah.
18:39 * mdxi giggles insanely
18:40 * solios notes that we're wearing UNSpacey helmets instead of Star League, but hey.
18:40 < solios> :D
18:40 < solios> mdxi: how's that work for you?
18:41 < mdxi> it is TEH AWESOME
18:41 < solios> :D
18:41 < rjbs> makes me want legos.

And the second revision, which is Fawking Hyooge and only a smidge bigger in file size:



12:25 in irk

03:30 < rjbs> merg.
03:31 < rjbs> fagbot: cancer?
03:31 < fagbot> cancer is OMFG 69 LOLZ
05:23 < photon_> hah
05:30 < rjbs> fagbot: gemini?
05:30 < fagbot> no clue, rjbs
05:31 < rjbs> 08:31 rjbs: Cancer (June 22 - July 22): Everyone worries about what Fate
05:31 < rjbs> has in store for them, but don't fret. You won't feel a thing.
05:34 < xeno> blar
05:39 < photon_> woohoo the sun ate its partition tables
05:40 < rjbs> It were hungry.
05:41 < photon_> flaky
06:03 < rjbs> Mm. Flakes.

The meaning of the word.
00:59 in irk

21:51 < ejp> fagbot: doot for my users



More IRIX love.
18:33 in irk

15:32 < solios> fagbot: doot for irix
15:32 < fagbot> HMMMMMM now let me THINK -- a FOUR-LETTER WORD meaning "GAYNESS"
15:32 < ejp> ...
15:32 * solios dies.
15:32 < ejp> that needs blogged


I get to play with Moveable Type at work now- rebuilding a kiosk. One of my supervisor's hasn't realized this yet, and gave me a buttload of video work to do on top of it, and expects it done, you guessed it, yesterday. :P The MT thing is naturally a priority- not that it has a deadline, but my mindset about projects is such that when I get into them, it takes tactical force to get me out- when I'm focused, the entirety of existance is a violent annoyance if I'm neck deep in trying to fix something or figure something out. I suppose that's why they call it "work" and pay me- it's not for what I'm actually doing, it's for the sheer volume of totally unrelated CRAP that gets piled on me while I'm doing it.

In classic Newtonian fashion, the deeper I immerse myself in the project and the more focused I am on it, the more violent, grating, and frequent the interruptions. Such is the case with any project- which is why I'm careful about distraction control and the presence sentient life when I'm working on ATC. But hey, part of the joy of work is coworkers- I get the majority of mission critical things that can not tolerate distraction worked on after five. I'm cool that way.

This is, coincidentally, why I don't answer my phone at home (it's not even in a room I can hear from the batcave), and don't go out much. If I'm going to tolerate distractions, I am going to be PAID for them, dammit- and I'm on the clock a fixed number of hours and days a week. I respect the fact that people want to get ahold of me- I just wish people would respect the fact that I have hours of availability, and that contacting me outside of them will most likely not get you what you're looking for- especially if I'm working on something.

There have been occasions where I'm all caught up and bored out of my skull. Those are few and far between- see the Newtonian reference above. You only get pushed back if you're pushing. Working on Something is Pushing, so you're going to get smacked around by whatever can concievably manifest (re: Murphy's Law), be it the office manager, coworkers, equipment failure, badly timed phone calls, etceteras. This would be why cube farmers envy the offices with the doors and the locks and the windows- it ain't the view.

Fun? Probably. Angsty, oddly- I've been feeling positively human lately, as opposed to the month dead corpse in a manure pit thing that I'm usually stuck with in body, mind, or both. o_O



02:22 in irk

22:54 < ejp> fagbot: doot for people
22:54 < fagbot> mmmm ... mashed up baby head!
22:54 < solios> fagbot: botsnack
22:54 < fagbot> :)
22:54 < solios> man, it's like my social phase was puberty and now I'm blossoming into the fullblown adulthood of near-psychopathic mysanthropy.
22:57 < ejp> not really a bad thing.
23:00 < solios> more of a continued annoyance.
23:00 < solios> if you think of people as zits, then the puberty analogy really holds up.
23:01 < solios> there's more of them every day, and if you pop them they ooze all over your face and are generally annoying.
23:02 < ejp> people are evil
23:02 < solios> fagbot: people?
23:02 < fagbot> people are weird. or ignoring the fact that ther are MSSQL servers exposed to the net.
23:02 < solios> fagbot: people are also a disease with legs.
23:02 < fagbot> okay, solios.
23:02 < fagbot> OK, solios.
23:03 < @panner> a disease with legs but no pants
23:04 < solios> some of them.
23:04 < fagbot> some of them are not unattractive
23:04 < solios> :|
23:04 < @panner> fagbot: true enough
23:04 < fagbot> panner: wtf?
23:06 < ejp> I'm all torn. on one hand, People Are Evil. This is Fact.
23:06 < ejp> on the other, OMFGIWANTTHEM!!!
23:06 < solios> you don't want people, eric.
23:06 < solios> you want girls.
23:06 < @panner> s/girls/guys/
23:07 < solios> hahah.
23:07 < ejp> solios: well, yeah.
23:07 < ejp> panner: lolz u wanna cyber???
23:08 -!- solios changed the topic of #tildedot to: I also just wrote "Fag< tab>" in the essay I'm writing | < ejp> panner: lolz u wanna cyber???
23:08 < @panner> not wit u lololol



OpenOffice vs. IRIX

Oh yeah.

torg 7% soffice
2609:/usr/OpenOffice/program/setup.bin: rld: Fatal Error: _rld_new_interface: bad operation: 14
2630:/usr/OpenOffice/program/soffice.bin: rld: Fatal Error: _rld_new_interface: bad operation: 14
torg 8%

power dump
03:20 in news

03:05 < ejp> cynical much?
03:05 < solios> If cynicism were fiber, I'd be able to pass a fucking star destroyer.

Orkut Strikes Back
03:12 in irk

00:08 < @bda> She's wearing pink.
00:08 < @bda> And stars.
00:08 < @bda> That's all you, Hinder.
00:09 * solios looks
00:09 < solios> dude, she looks like a Laura.
00:09 < @bda> music:
00:09 < @bda> DNB, Breakbeats, Punk, Hardcore, Basically... it has to be LOUD, HARD, and FAST
00:09 < @bda> You're LOUd, HARD and FAST, aren't you?
00:09 < @bda> bahah
00:09 < solios> Not in the sack.
00:09 < solios> :X
00:10 < solios> er.
00:10 < solios> wait.
00:10 < solios> WAIT.
00:10 < @bda> ...
00:10 * solios punches his skull.
00:10 < @bda> Is that what you tell them?
00:10 < @bda> "No, give it a minute, it'll be okay"?

More Orkut
02:12 in irk

One of the lines from my personal profile on orkut:

Uneven emotional commitments make my ass and other areas all kinds of >_<. People tend to want me to spend lots of time with them and very rarely make it worth the while. Sex, like perl, is part of an efficient system but ultimately a single component that's fairly useless on its own.

< solios> someone look at my personal profile thing on orkut and tell me if I sound like an asshole.
< solios> plz? :)
< ejp> not really. but my view is probably scewed
< ejp> and perl is just fine be itself. :P
< solios> yes, but you still need a kernel.
< solios> and a shell.
< solios> and a text editor.
< ejp> kernel yes.
< solios> emacs, conversely, is just fine by itself.
< ejp> that'd be cool. a pure-perl userspace.
< solios> someone wrote a WM in perl.
* solios saw it a few years ago.
< @bda> There's also psh.
< ejp> na, I mean shell, text editor, EVERYTHING.
< solios> okay, so the text editor and the kernel, then.
< ejp> a perl-based text editor.
* ejp giggles
< ejp> that'd be GREAT! not terribly fast though
< solios> indeed.
< @bda> perl -e 'open'....
< ejp> dammit, why won't my meatspace friends answer their orkut invites?!
< @bda> You have friends?
< @bda> :O
< solios> I hope to smegging hell none of my meatspace friends find out I'm on orkut.
< ejp> just the two. one really. the other is just someone who should be on orkut
< solios> then they'll want to be friends.
< @bda> :D
< solios> then you guys will see the quality of people I'm stuck with in Pittsburgh.
< solios> and you'll know why I'm shelled into IRC sixteen hours a day.

< solios> fagbot: doot for a mottley assortment of people with too much time on their hands, thinking I should spend mine with them.

Yes, I know that's how society and human interaction work. :-) IRC lets me chat with friends while I'm actually doing something - which isn't a luxury I have in meatspace. I like my productivity quite a bit, and don't miss being bored in the least. Meatspace is frequently repetetive, dull (LETS TALK ABOUT ENTERTAINMENT! NOT IDEAS! AGAIN!), distressing (re: people who can't take a hint, be it about my personal work schedule or the permissions on my crotch), and hasn't been satisfying in.... uh. Years? Something like that.

IRC : Part of a nutritous breakfast.



IRIX ate my balls.
03:14 in news

I played with my SGI for the first time today. My SGI is an Indigo 2 r10000 200mhz with 576 megs of RAM, solid impact graphics, cdrom, 2gig HDD, and IRIX 6.5. My SGI is named torg, and I shall address it as such until it is stopped.

Playing with an SGI- specifically, playing with an Indigo 2 r10k - means playing with IRIX.

23:59 < solios> not having quicksilver is like using irix.
00:01 < ejp> haha
00:02 < solios> eg, going from some smoooooove lurve to having to dig through forty directories just to find your ass. :|
00:03 < solios> And waiting interminably long periods of time for critical things like the sphincter to download.
00:03 < solios> Then!
00:03 < solios> you download the sphincter, and go to install it in the ass.
00:03 < solios> But it requires sphincter muscles.
00:03 < solios> The sphincter muscles require a colon.
00:04 < solios> The colon a small intestine, the small intestine a stomach, and all of a sudden you're wondering why you have to pay for an eyeglasses prescription when all you wanted was ASS.
00:07 < solios> That's SGI freeware in a nutshell. Break core apps down into teeny components that are completely useless by themselves, which depend on vast libraries that have little or nothing to do with whatever it is you want to do with the app you need to fill six dependencies for to install.

Oh, and list all freeware as name and description, without listing dependencies. Wait until the user runs the installer to tell them that part. Bonus points for just about every app requiring freeware security fixes and SSH being incompatible with freeware security fixes, thus necessitating intervention even for applications in which all other prerequisites are met.

Gimp requires GTK libraries requires graphics libraries requires PNG and TIFF libraries, and also requires gif libraries which requires raster libraries which requires some weird thing. Gimp also requires bzip and gzip and winkin, blinkin and nod. And some sort of ascii art library. GTK also requires ghostscript, which requires freetype and groff, which requires something else. SSH requires SSL and TCP wrappers and a partridge in a pear tree (funny, nothing else did...). The dependencies of the dependencies have dependencies. Redhat users are used to this, I'm told.


XLI, which is an X windows image viewer thingy, didn't have any dependencies. Damn near shat myself.

And BZFlag apparently requires some library or header or some shit from the IRIX compiler. Whee.

All of the aforementioned items are separate downloads. Or wgets, once you meet the dependencies to install wget. Which is preferable to trying to remember which assgasmic string of ascii hex the Software Manager left a package in after sucking it out of a .tardist right before it tells you it needs three other things before it can do something with it. There's also the fact that Navigator sucks balls and recognizes .tardist files as what they are off of the SGI site and not sourceforge. Navigator likes to open sourceforge .tardist documents as raw ASCII text in the browser. Mozilla has no idea what a .tardist is and asks for advice.

Oh, and there's no locate. And DHCP assigns an IP, but not a router or a DNS server. My favorite part about troubleshooting my inability to connect to the internet to begin discovering and resolving dependency hell was that any change to network settings requires the machine to be rebooted. ifup, ifdown anyone? :P

And I figured all of this out myself. :-X

00:15 < ejp> uh, dude, that's unix. not SGI
00:15 < ejp> unix doesn't have "core apps"
00:15 < ejp> also, you're fucked up.

00:21 < solios> fagbot: doot for the indigo2

I'll update all y'all on torg and my experience with IRIX whenever I get torg to the point where it's Useable. Whatever that means.



My job rules.
19:07 in news




Aiding and Abetting
04:01 in irk

00:29 < ejp> oooh
00:30 < ejp> just thought of a tildecomic name.
00:30 < ejp> "Wang Labs"
00:30 < solios> !
00:31 < ejp> oldskool computers and homoerotic imagery.
00:31 < ejp> what more could you ask for?
00:35 < solios> maybe Wang Labs is where everyone in the comic works.

00:37 < ejp> I still like noodlefort
00:37 < solios> the noodlefort would be harb's cubicle.
00:38 < ejp> mercury is the only hit on google for it



Up to the minute
23:14 in news

Well. I was going to work on line art tonight, but the workspace remains occupied- even at this hour- and that means a few images that are lurking around in my head get to wait until tomorrow to come out. :|

I have ATC scripted to the end of chapter two, at the expense of a hangover and some ~15$ pumped into the south side economy. I've done some minor revisions and tweaks to mercury, added a FAQ, and played Unreal Tournament 2004 for about four minutes- four minutes of my life I'm not getting back, and wouldn't mind invoicing Atari for. Mutliple-input-device FPS is so totally not for me that the UT2k4 logo might as well be the RNC's. I still await Doom 3, however- iD has a funny habit of not letting me down. And BZFlag is still crack. But there's no look/strafe in BZF. Which is in part why it's crack. BZF also loads in under ten seconds (compared to nearly forty), and doesn't blast an obnoxious EA SPORTS! ITS IN THE GAME! style NVidia splash that is, for lack of a better description, complete and total bullshit. All of my video hardware is ATI- a company I have yet to see doing something so mind-numbingly asinine.

Safari 1.2 still holds page scrolling position and still completely fails to hold form position- switch to a different tab, switch back to the tab with the form, and your form scrollbar is back to the top. 1.3 needs to fix this. BADLY. Considering how much I use a CMS, and how much of my time in the CMS is spent doing link-checking, content checking, and template tweaking.... well, let's just say that the ability to remember where the user is at in a form would be pretty damned handy. Mozilla can do it.

I've got a bit of money saved towards "useable hardware"- where "useable" is triple digit megahertz and faster than what I'm currently running, while still being too slow to meet the system requirements of current Apple Pro Apps. Not that I need to do that at home anyway. :P There will be a spunktastic tech orgy on SAB whenever I succeed in my campaign for new gear.

Mercury's template layout needs to be plunged again- considering this isn't really news so much as a blog entry and I want it on the front page but the front page is only for news and the blog is for blog stuff and the whole danged thing is really just a blog and omfg talk about a runon sentence. You knew that was coming.

I still need to gut the dead or dying hardware in my room for salvageable components and toss the carcasses, pull down my old Super B prints and put up new ones, do laundry, etceteras. The sort of maintenance one does, assuming the time one spends in ones house not sleeping or showering isn't spent welded to a CRT. I'm bad about getting shit done if said shit can't be done digitally- especially when said shit has no direct bearing on my personal health and/or well being.

The tendency to ignore that sort of thing mirrors my attitude towards society in general over the past several months- since I Sobered Up in late 2003, I haven't gone out much. I've been to Tom's Diner a few times as a change of pace so I don't go completely batfuck insane, but outside of that, last night was my first time in south side bars since mid December. All south side venues are irritating to some extent, a condition for which the patrons are almost entirely responsible. The exception is Tom's Diner- I've found that with the current crop of waitresses, sitting on the left side of the smoking area will get me served quickly, bussed quickly, and cashed out quickly. Sitting on the right side of the smoking area leaves me waiting at least five minutes for a menu, five to ten for order, fifteen to twenty-five for food, and approximately nine billion years for the check. The actual difference between the two is somewhere between twenty and thirty minutes, depending on crowd capacity and time of week.

I don't do Tom's on Fridays or Saturdays. The asshats are so thick in my own alley that my brain freezes when I attempt to calculate Complete Fucktard Density for the area around Tom's- which, being on Carson near 18th, is one of the largest concentrations of drunken fuckwits you're likely to find anywhere, any time. Waiting for a bus at 18th and Carson on a Friday or Saturday night is a quick and efficient way to remove the weight from any arguments against licensed and controlled procreation and promulgation of the species. If you live in a Bar District, you know this- a street full of drunks is, at best, an embarassment.

I live where I do for the convenience it affords me during the other five days of the week- a level of convenience unmatched by any previous living accomodation. My friends have fortunately learned that dropping in to "visit" at two thirty in the morning isn't one of these conveniences- an arrangement that has, in fact, made life quite a bit more pleasant of late. :)

I could use that as a springboard for weapons grade rant that would leave a Dave Sim aftertaste in the mouth, but I've already hit my "projection of socially aberrant angst" quota for the month, so I'll save that one for later. Maybe the next time my brain collapses into hypoglycemic sanity shock, since it's bound to come out then anyway. I've more or less had my Fill And Will of physical social environments- for most people it seems to be a constant need- whereas in my case, going out for a couple of hours every three to six weeks is more than enough. Anything beyond that complicates things.

So that's what's up. I'd start writing about where things are going, but I've tried to keep myself away from writing self-motivating .plan files- said activity is best performed on paper, I've noticed.

Pure and essential
23:04 in irk

19:55 < ejp> Dasani bottled water disturbs me.
19:55 < ejp> it hisses when opened.
19:56 < solios> pressure difference.
19:56 < ejp> other water doesn't hiss. :|
19:57 < @panner> other water isn't ALIVE
19:57 < solios> lksdjhg.
19:57 < ejp> see, that's my concern.
19:57 * solios peers at the Dasani bottle on his desk.
19:57 < @panner> solios: GET OUT! GET OUT NOW!
19:58 < solios> uh.
19:58 < solios> it hissed when I opened it.
19:58 < ejp> SEE?!
19:58 < solios> and it's been filled with tapwater for the last three weeks.
19:58 < solios> :|
19:58 < ejp> oh. so the *container* is evil.
19:58 < solios> yeah. It's the container, not the water.
19:59 < solios> the water itself is only semi-evil.
19:59 * solios sniffs his.
19:59 < solios> smells like coffee. :|
19:59 * ejp sniffs solios
19:59 < ejp> you smell like coffee
19:59 * solios farts on ejp
20:00 < ejp> actually, I know what it is. it's the dissolved gasses esacping the water.
20:00 < ejp> er, escaping.
20:01 < solios> are you sure about that?
20:01 < solios> I think it's ninjas.
20:01 < ejp> no, it's just gas.
20:01 < ejp> hrm, maybe ninja gas.
20:02 < ejp> which of course would implicate xeno in the whole thing.

02:55 in irk

23:50 < solios> orkut search rules.
23:51 < ejp> it does?
23:52 < solios> < solios> orkut, show me all the single women in PA.
23:52 < solios> < orkut> you lameass.
23:52 < ejp> heh
23:52 < solios> so it did.
23:52 < solios> :|
23:52 < solios> fagbot: doot for orkut girls.
23:52 < fagbot> Being a person of the arts HONK HONK HONK WHOOOOP WHOOOP WHOOP
23:53 < ejp> yeah. I said "show me everyone within 50 miles of 98225"
23:53 < ejp> it went "I hope you're gay"



Hail to the king, baby.
20:09 in irk

17:01 < @esch> I'm going to Las Vegas in teh morning.
17:01 < @bda> Are you going to have sex with Elvis?
17:01 < @esch> that's the goal.
17:02 < @bda> I'm not happy that I guessed that.
17:02 < @esch> you're just projecting.

< @esch> I'm just glad I could be a part of it.
19:54 in irk

14:22 < @pw> You win!
14:26 < Arbo> Almost 25 hours.
14:26 < Arbo> I should have waited.
14:53 < @solios_bz> :|
14:54 -!- You're now known as solios
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Day changed to 12 Feb 2004
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16:51 < @solios> TWENTY SIX
16:51 < @esch> more or less.
16:52 < @solios> by two minutes.



22:08 in irk

19:03 < solios> fagbot: doot for chicks digging the wangbabies
19:03 < @john> impressive
19:05 < solios> fagbot: doot for sticking an english teacher in a math TA slot
19:06 < ejp> it's too bad, none of my skillz are chick-attracting ones.
19:06 < solios> :|
19:06 < solios> LEARN PERL
19:06 < ejp> I want *girls* Dan, not shemales.
19:07 < solios> LEARN FORTRAN
19:07 < ejp> -_-

14:53 in site

Bleh. Did some organizational work on the blog- at some point I need to run through and delete most of it. Or take off and nuke the site from orbit. Moved workload and the mlp into the aesthetics management controller so the previous/next functions in the blog work. Wiped the non-me shit out of the MLP- I won't be adding more to it, I don't use it, etc. It's kind of pointless to have it. o_o

News gets a blog category- I basically just moved the news log and how it functions down a tier. This is more for filing than anything else. At some point I need to just drop the thing and migrate to something new, much like Bryan did a la signal to noise.

That or just a straight rethink- see exactly what sort of purpose mercury serves.

A Week Sent To Destroy Me
11:37 in news

08:37 < solios> fagbot: doot for this morning

Made the mistake of having coffee after dinner last night. It's a mistake from the standpoint that I ate around 11pm, so I woke up feeling like high octane ass. Full of the hate- more so than usual. Behind schedule, etceteras. Burning backups, organizing data, encoding video in the workspace. Probably going to do some blog optimizations later today or at some point this week- work on the mercury information design, as opposed to just the aesthetics. :P

s/some point/right now, seeing as how I just got totally assraped in bzflag. How I handle that game is a good indication of my mental processing and stress handling- neither of which are extant, let alone well developed this morning.

The Viz optimizations are the thing that needs to wait- what I want to do to make teh Viz prettay is going to involve basically nuking it and starting over completely fresh- as well as tying myself into a set width for the site, which isn't something I've had to do yet.



Ice, Ice, Baby.
16:14 in irk

13:03 < solios> I AM LISTENING TO TEH KORN
13:04 * solios stops./
13:04 < mdxi> HAMMER TIME
13:04 < solios> alj.
13:04 < solios> mdxi++
13:05 * solios is too legit to quit.
13:05 < mdxi> you better pray
13:06 < solios> for the Adams Family?
13:07 < mdxi> we need to be nuked from orbit, plz
13:07 < @bda> Wasn't it "Addams"?



20:40 in site

Well, welcome to 2004.1. Root, Blog, and viz have been reskinned- and that's about it for the time being. Further functionality can wait- viz still needs a complete rework, and I still have to tune the includes a bit so I can skin the site without replacing parts of some forty or so templates- just, like, eight.

We'll see how long this one lasts! :D

I think the fact that I've made it 37 days into 2k4 before doing another aesthetics redesign speaks well of my restraint. :P

Mmmm. Evil.
19:20 in site

New Mercury template ready to implement. It can hypothetically go in clean, but that would be all kinds of evil- so it's going to go in the nasty way. At some point. Tonight or tomorrow. I still need to consult Xeno and see if he's down with it as a LOC replacement or not, and still need to do some inline widgets, but those can wait- they would require editing the crap out of every single template on the site. :P

02:31 in irk

< ejp> snails are cool.
< ejp> no visible form of locomotion, yet they glide around.
< solios> glide?
< ejp> on the sand.
< solios> :o
< solios> hm.
< solios> speaking of.
-!- You're now known as solios_afk
< solios_afk> BEDZ0R!
< solios_afk> :/
< ejp> o_O
< solios_afk> ejp: later, yo.
< ejp> snails->bed?!
< solios_afk> yes.
< ejp> >.<
< solios_afk> ejp++
< solios_afk> goodnight, yo. Have fun with the snails. :D
< ejp> get your scary ass out of here.
* solios_afk detatches.

Cognitive Dissonance

I'm sure you're familiar with the concept of a negative feedback loop. If not, you're about to read about mine.

< solios> fagbot: doot for blogging The Bitchy McBitchbitch Bitchloop
< fagbot> Try new Alleve Orgasm Tabs: keeps working for twelve hours!

Originally blogged in my deviantart account, which seems to have merrily eaten the post:

This is rumor control. Here are the facts:

1. My housemate has amazingly loud, fixture-shaking Fight Club Sex between three and seven nights a week. By loud, I mean my stereo doesn't cover it up without a noise ordinance violation. And I live behind a bar.

2. I haven't had sex since March of 2003. It's almost self inflicted- there's a short list of girls that treat me in a fashion that borders on sexual harassment. Having incredibly negative experiences along similar lines, the instinct is brain shutdown and isolation. A couple of girls who can't take a hint are angsting me at the entire gender. Whee.

3. Loud, unending Fight Club Sex + a person who's excruciatingly pissed at the presence of hormones and a libido in his body = @#$%#$%%@#$!!!1


Since I'm feeling both irrational and the Angry Cloud of Bees is NOT eating my brain (much), I'll expand. Just for you.

I've been hermitting hardcore for going on two months now, with a few exceptions. The bars have nothing to offer but fucktards and hangovers, or, if it's a really bad night, a couple of rogue skirts who try to get into my pants. They're like guys in that they can't seem to take a hint. :P The beehive is full of sucks, and the Oakland coffee houses aren't fit to be seen in. It's not that I want to be lonely- I'm either incredibly busy or incredibly depressed, and the whole problem with relationships is that they always seem to cycle into The Other demaning more and more and more of my time as I'm willing to give up less and less and less of it because I Need To Get Shit Done- my last relationship ended instantly and spectacularly for just this reason. The person in question demanded to see more of me and failed to make the engagements worth my time- when given The Ultimatum, I told her "Okay, you're not riding backseat to a webcomic. Be seeing you!" and cauterized it on the spot.

Time spent listening to incessant whining about dogs, roommates and work is not time spent well, especially when you have shit to do. Chalk it up to a serious personality conflict- unrewarding demands on my time form the basis of why I've isolated myself thoroughly from many of the people that I know socially. I'd rather be alone with IRC and photoshop. Swap space and /ignore might not be the most exciting things in the world, but they fill time and they don't wear perfume. Or make horribly unrealistic demands that they think are perfectly justified. They're where life has been lately.

Which is fine, until you run out of shit to do. Boredom isn't a lack of options or stimulation- it's a mental state of complete, all-encompasing BLAH that sucks the life out of you. And while you're bored, physical people still piss you off to no end, so you're bored AND isolated, because being alone is orders of magnitude better than being around sucks. Or so you think.


So, to sum up:

1. I am fucking sick of being horny. Biochemistry is clueless about things like prudishness and a general disinterest in sex. It wants that shit worse than Gollum wants the Ring, and it's Not. Going. To STOP. Imagine that internal force that makes you go o.O when you're looking at boobs and butts being permanently set to go >:| instead because, hey, you're looking at boobs and butts and that's a giant waste of time, right? Right.

2. That shit does not have an off switch. The "Switch" is pretty inconvenient, and it isn't a breaker or a relay. It's permanent. I'd like to think that my ragestate with regards to this issue may eventually turn out to be horribly misdirected, and would prefer to by capable of confirming my suspicions at this imaginary future date.

3. There are people who would be happy to render this a nonissue. QUITE happy, as they have repeatedly and insistently informed me. However, the people who would be happy to render this a nonissue and the people that would happily render this a nonissue are mutually exclusive concepts. The former exists, the latter seems to be extinct.

4. Not extinct so much as invisible, because I AM BEING A BITCHY LITTLE BITCHBITCH.

5. The mental interferrance caused by item one makes it impossible for me to think straight sometimes, which in turn makes me extremely angry (as opposed to adventuresome). This amplifies item three a bit. I'm sure if I actually liked being around people enough to be nice to them, life would be quite a bit different.

6. So basically, the fact that my hormones rage, with or without outlet, really FUCKING PISSES ME OFF a LOT. It's a distraction. The body wants to go do its thing, and has to be constantly and incessantly reined in, sometimes to the point of violence in the form of psychotic episodes. I suppress that shit so hard that when it finally does make it out of the gate, my brain snaps like a twig and rather than be congenial, charming, or something similar, I'm stark raving insane for hours, days, or sometimes weeks.

7. This is, as I'm sure you can imagine, a fairly irritating state of affairs. I have enough problems staying clearheaded (re: blood sugar) that lobbing the libido in on a weekly to monthly basis is adding insult to injury. Nothing like a head full of angry bees and the blind tension of testosterone to make you FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE.

Meatspace associates joke that I'll be the first to get cyberjacks, that my brain runs java, that I think in assembly, etceteras. While I wouldn't get jacks, I will definitely be among the first in line for functional and effective hormone supressants and anything else that'll give me a clear head without the grinding tightness of a one-track ritalin attention span.

This has been your bitch for the evening. Had this been a blood sugar meltdown bitch, it would have been much less coherent and repeated itself in chunks at least three times. I will likely regret posting this at some point, even if it is an almost entirely accurate synposis of the psychosis that's been eating my brain off and on since 1998- progressively less off and more on of late, unfortunately.... or I'm sure I'd be telling you all about SWEETNESS AND LIGHT and other things that aren't a daily part of my existance.

I much prefer the very unevenly dispersed other eight months of the year when it's so totally not even an issue and I can actually Be Creative and Do Stuff without horrible acts of suck resulting.



21:09 in irk

18:04 < solios> heh.
18:04 < solios> certain IPv6 commands make obsd shit its pants.
18:04 < solios> O_o
18:04 < solios> < theo> IT IS NOT AN EXPLOIT.
18:06 < mdxi> it's JUST a CRASH
18:06 < @rjbs> theo--
18:07 < mdxi> shut UP shut UP! he's PERFECT!
18:07 < @rjbs> theo--
18:07 < ejp> theo--
18:07 < mdxi> theo--



12:02 in irk

08:32 <@rjbs> I love people who say, "I could never learn a Mac!"
08:33 <@bda> Well, they've only ever used Windows. For a decade.
08:33 <@bda> Of course they can't learn anything new.
08:33 <@bda> EXACTLY
08:33 <@bda> :)

08:35 * rjbs wonders what espo is up to.
08:36 <@rjbs> fagbot: doot for espo
08:36 < fagbot> STOP BEING RETARDED



Dead Lines
14:02 in site

Mercury's probably going to get rebuilt. Again. I've learned more about how to effectively separate presentation and content on the backend, and mercury isn't exactly easy to mung about with in this respect. :P

I also totally suck at blogging, so I'm thinking of refiltering the blog section down to the sphincterspasming of the funnier IRC logs. Most of my exposition is irritating (to me, anyway- especially considering the fact I'm usually compelled to expose when I'm :|, >:|, >.<, >_< or :(.)- the two entries reclassed to "Draft" status in particular, as they're the output of psychotic episodes which were brought to a hault by hitting the vending machine like a ton of bricks. Mental instability is one of the many symptoms of hypoglycemia. I've managed to collect the whole symptom set over the course of the last three years, though I didn't get the next to last piece- the complete mental fuckishness- until recently, and I still need the final piece to complete the collection- the rare, limited edition, expensive as hell "medical diagnosis."

You can't find that one on ebay.

So. Back to the semi-challenge of forging a new aesthetic, and the uber-challenge of forging adequate information design. Mercury fluctuates more than everything else for the simple reason that it lacks a coherent focus- the projects I work on with their own sites have all more or less matured into useability and stability, whereas mercury's been little more than a bitchbin and a dropbox..

SAB got tweaked in August- its first tweak in eight months- and that was a minor aesthetics shift to go along with moving it to MT. I don't see it changing much in the future. Yeah, it's like the 94387534987593847th design, but it was the first time I shifted colors rather than blowing weeks on a clean reimplimentation. I'd call that progress, personally.

The Gravicon finally hit something that doesn't make me fisty, which is what's gotten me to thinking about mercury- G7 is on its fourth aesthetics revision- four revisions on a basic color scheme I'd decided in 2002. Basically, tightening things down and ramping up the pretty- the actual information design is set and stone and I can fiddle the site without mucking with actual content templates. A big difference over this site- which has never been thoroughly planned out in the information design sense. :| The Gravicon, on the other hand, existed on paper as a structural design long before I installed linux on the server I'm building it on. o_O

ATC is something I'm going to be perpetually dissatisfied with until it's built up enough to start developing its own information design "personality", and I stop chunking out pages that make my eyes bleed. I'm assuming - correctly - that that bit is going to take awhile. And some love- my attention is split between G7 and ATC lately, and G7 is, frankly, a lot less strenuous.

So: Mercury needs either a cleaner and more future-proofed information design- one that totally removes content from aesthetic- or a good swift kick in the nuts. :D

Meme Police
13:55 in irk

10:53 < xeno> rjbs: adobo?
10:53 < solios> xeno: adobo.
10:53 <@rjbs> adobo?
10:53 < xeno> adobo
10:54 < solios> adobo!
10:54 <@rjbs> good. we're all clear.
10:54 < xeno> solios: k.
10:54 < solios> k!