tin omen

moveable type
October 2004


Executive Summary (1)

High of 74 today. Bright and sunny. 20 degrees warmer than Pittsburgh. Ate Veitnamese with Factory crew for lunch- had some funky beef soup thing. Adam gave me a crash course on how it's prepared and how to eat it. Fantastically good food. The coffee was some of the best I've ever had.

Split the day between Factory (lunch), bda/rjbs/Gloria (post-lunch), Roland (post-lunch coffee, walkentalk and hangout), and bda (pre-dinner, dinner, post-dinner walkentalk). The rock I made a promise to on the Birmingham is now at the bottom of the Delaware.

I've adapted to the Grid a bit. It's still confusing, but more in a scalar sense. Philly just goes, in all directions. Pittsburgh is balkanized- segregated into sections by hills and rivers. Modular, isolated, labeled and stereotyped. Philly flows in ways that Pittsburgh can not, and the Steel City feels like a claustrophobic wasteland by comparison.

Train leaves in fifteen hours.

The Factory/CDC guys kick ass. Bryan kicks ass. Pete kicks ass. Adam kicks ass. rjbs kicks ass. Hunter kicks ass. Roland kicks ass. So many great people, such a warm welcome. I've had a great time in Philly and I think I've worn out my boots.

Katamari Damacy is the most insane shit ever.

Pismo's hinges are well past end of life- this machine needs to be replaced with something a bit more up to date. Or at least in better condition. The fan is probably the loudest thing on the first floor of the House Of the Harble.

Had a long walkentalk with Bryan covering System and ATC from different angles. My hands really need work, and I need to get off of my ass and start chunking out pages. Be less of a techgeek and more of an artgeek. Etceteras. Bryan suggested taking a poke at Slave Labor for publication of ATC. Other Factory members mentioned similar, and Adam had some interesting approach suggestions- I have a feeling the hacker perception of the comics industry is the one I should be listening to here. If anything, it's more varied, more earnest, and less jaded. The response to the ATC hardcopy was a universal Get It Published.


Fucking intense, that kind of reception.

Actually put my sketchbook to use, too. Looks like shit, but it's crap paper and I'm still sketching in ink. It's something to do. It's nice to be drawing when I'm bored, rather than torrenting or looking at porn or playing quake or going {quietly|loudly} insane. Haven't sugarshocked at all- I've come close several times, but I haven't dropped off of the deep end into the Land Of The Assholes, thankfully. Stuttery with a lot of synaptic incapability, which is pretty frustrating- but the inability to articulate is preferable to vicious hatestuff.

I really don't want to go back to Pittsburgh, dammit.

I don't want to- especially seeing as how I get to dive straight into work, no less. Not something I'm looking forward to. Can't let the {town|place} grind me down to nothing. It wants to. It's been trying since 1997 and it has been trying especially hard over the course of the last six months. Harder than ever. You'd think it was personal. In a way, it might be- the city is a fickle, vicious lover and it's caught me looking and liking. Looking and liking a city that isn't rotting. A city that's a hell of a lot closer to anywhere.

That's a good thing- I have a direction to work in. Goals.

On that list, along with ATC, portfolio bulking, etc: Finishing up the PWF logo and doing some vizwork for the CDC. They know more or less what they want- I just hope I can give it to them. :D

I'd be hard pressed to find four consecutive days that were this cool at any point in the past.

As for the future, well... there's s3kr1t pl4ns regarding the expenditure of vacation time, and I'll need to seriously bust my ass on ATC to make everything happen On Schedule. I'd like to be out of excuses the next time I visit.



Bringing out the dead

Bryan's still waking up and Pete is listening to Finntroll through the wonders of playlist sharing. It's one forty in the afternoon and we're all in some state of post-hangover.

This is an Apple town- I've seen all of one x86 laptop. The portables are a stew of iBooks and Powerbooks- all newer models. Badass explosive building-shaking thunderstorm last night. Philly's expensive when it comes to food- not exactly thrilled with the burn rate on cash. Pete and Bryan are discussing pants- Bryan's trying to convince Pete to put on the real deal, as opposed to the sweatpants he's chilling in.

And Pete's making goat noises.

This town rules.




Is quite a lot larger than I remember. But then, I've never really seen it in the daylight. 30th street station is huge, as are the trains- like the bus, but with LEGROOM.

Met bda at Front and Catherine. Space-Age ATM at the Wawa- PNC, fancy that. South Street Diner for much needed food. Factory, where I'm typing this up. It's warm here, in many ways. Lots of walking on the docket.

This city has a pulse, which is more than I can say for Pittsburgh.

2316 : Borders had Pattern Recognition. The local Barnes and Nobel didn't. Four hundred miles for a book is something I can live with.

Second time around is much more comfortable than the first. In part because Bryan isn't hamstrung by DCI and I'm not coked out of my fucking mind. I am a bit mumbly and easily lost, things I chalk up to blood sugar issues. Not quite sure exactly how to deal with that at the moment- I can overcompensate, but these are good people and I don't want to get mindshit all over them. :P

Walking and talking with Bryan- discourse on the nature of "plot" and storytelling- I'm of the opinion that the plot is the outline you start with- if you're channelling the characters correctly, they'll take it from there and drive it someplace you'd never devise on your own time.

Coming to you from a dual G4 with a Sun monitor sitting on top of the carcass of an SGI Indy. OS X with eleven user accounts and I did the crop-job on Bryan's wallpaper. There's some yelling going on outside and the downtown 'scraper running lights are a pinkish purple.

We're a bit behind schedule, and I've walked more today than I have in the last three weeks.

The mens room is out the hall and around the corner. Bryan occupies it with a cel phone, and he is laughing.

Some times I feel I've got to GET AWAY

Train leaves at 0730 today and returns ~2200 of 01 November.

Barring complications, five days (give or take) in glorious Philadelphia.




Selective Reality

When you have people like William S. Lind out there telling you exactly how you're fucking up, you'd be stupid to ignore him.

Which, coincidentally, both Bush and Kerry are doing a postively stellar job of.



Blood Sugar Rage Magick

Some links about hypoglycemia :

The Wikipedia writeup.
Alternate-Health.com writeup.
Alternative Medicine and Health DOT COM description

Of note is the bit about uncontrollable rage mentioned in the alternate-health and Wikipedia entries, and the example of Apples in the alt-health writeup. This is of particular value given the fact I've been supplementing my diet with apple juice of late- unlike ALL OTHER JUICE EVER it doesn't give me heartburn. Days I consume apple juice happen to coincide with days that I get pissed easily and enjoy taking it out on anything that moves- many of these cases being triggered by the personal habits of coworkers psycho-distorted to apocalyptic levels of premeditated intent. The sorts of activities which are under normal circumstances merely quirks or annoyances.

Same thing appllies at home. Kicked the everloving shit out of a chair in the living room, seemingly deliberately left in the doorway to the kitchen by my roommate. I say deliberately as it's been there Every Single Fucking Night for the past six months- sometimes trip-positioned, sometimes not. I kicked it so fucking hard he heard it upstairs and inquired from a safe distance- I bellowed something to the effect of being sick to fucking death of tripping over The God Damned Chair and, realizing I sounded Just Like My Father, stomped up the stairs to google up things like ("apple juice" rage hypoglycemia) and (rage hypoglycemia) and similar, as my brainmeats have a distinctly apple flavor to them, despite having laid off the stuff some six hours previous.

Diagnose-Me has a relevant list of symptoms, specifically the Symptoms - Mind subcategories, which apply in their entirety.

Obviously, I need to get this verified by somebody that pays three times my salary in malpractice insurance, since they're the sort of person who gets paid to tell people - authoritatively - what they really don't want to hear.

Obviously, Apple Juice and juice of any kind gets retired for the interim.


There are something to the order of six or more Barnes and Noble bookstores in the Metropolitan Pittsburgh area. There's one in Squirrel Hill, one in Downtown, one at the Waterfront, and they're installed in every mall in the area. Barnes and Nobel bookstores are like The Gap- you can't have a mall without one. There Are Rules.

Not a single one of these has a copy of Gibson's current book, Pattern Recognition.

I find this particularly amusing in light of the fact that they stock everything from Neuromancer through All Tomorrow's Parties but just seem to have Stopped right there.

They do, however, have not one but two variants of Stephenson's Cryptonomicon. They have the Standard Issue version, which is something to the order of three inches thick with itty bitty type, and they have the Bludgeon Edition, which is roughly the same surface area as a cinderblock halved across its thin side, though considerably lighter.

The Bludgeon Edition is around seven hundred pages and change- considerably less than the Standard Issue version by virtue of being printed on larger sheets of paper.

I bought the Bludgeon, on the grounds it will be handy for both passing the time on the way to Philly and defending myself while visiting, should the need arise.

It is of no surprise to me that the publication © on the inside flap of the Bludgeon is the same year as Parties- coincidentally the year that Pittsburgh peaked and began to tip precariously into the gradual tar-pit suck of decline it's been wallowing in while the rest of the country gets busy with this whole Twenty-First Century thing.


That was one heck of a weekend.

I'd unload details but people I actually know read this thing and I don't have nearly enough privacy as it is.

Still thinking about the aforethreatened mercury rework, as well as meditating on a lot of the points that spurred the purchase of dcr. I'm blank in both regards, which isn't necessarily a bad thing- I still need to think over information design and see if anything needs to be cut, added, mothballed, whatever. I'm really irritated with how moveable type handles for viz- it's one of those things that hasn't improved with 3.0, which doesn't surprise me at all. They're more concerned with improving their licensing code and the trackback circlejerk than they are, say.... improving other features. But if it handled images well, it wouldn't really be moveable type, now would it? :P

I'm spread out across quite a few sites right now, and I have some serious decisionmaking I need to do with regards to focus- the sort of masturbatory introspection one typically saves for New Years Resolutions. You know, the sorts of things you'd like to be doing or would like to quit doing- but inertia is sucking on your ass so fucking hard that imagining life outside of the prison of your bad habits scares the piss out of you, immobilizing you with fear and widening the gap between the period when life was interesting and the present.

Think of it is catharsis through allegory, if you will.



Sacred Reich


"Most people would rather vote for the guy that stole the other guy's lunch money, rather than the guy who complained that his lunch money was stolen."

It's about time the media noticed something's up. The Village Voice is just as pissed as I am, albeit a lot more eloquent and with the facts in hand.

The Tampa Tribune is a paper with a sickeningly conservative editorial bias, and they find themselves unable to endorse Bush. So unable, in fact, that the article is 14/15ths a laundry list of Bush fuckups, with one brief stab at Kerry at the end. This from straight ticket Republicans.

Image swiped from the Alex Ross web site, prompted by a fipi link from bda.

Second verse, same as the first. (redux junior, dj notagain remix)
03:39 in site

There's a redesign pending again- this one actually being somewhat inspired, at least peripherally. I'm sure I'll hate my implementation quite a bit, as the odds of it looking anything like the source are slim.

This one's coming with a big information redesign. Xeno's probably going to hate me for it. We'll see. I have some basic ideas, but It Depends. I've been wanting to shift gears with mercury for awhile, which was one of the reasons I purchased a domain a bit ago. I can hopefully do it with less hassle, and I'll have more than enough time to give it some thought during the seven hour commute coming up later this week.

My webspace hasn't been edgy in awhile.

People liked the edgy. More than the vanilla, anyway.

Self Bias Resistor

Originally blogged by bda back in 2002. I'm the other half of the conversation and it's suddenly Relevant, so I'm ripping it and injecting it in here.

(16:01:28) harblefu: You need to read Choke by Palahniuk.
(16:01:34) harblefu: There's this scene where the Mommy and the narrator are at the zoo.
(16:01:40) IkonLust: ?
(16:01:43) harblefu: And the monkeys are all masturbating; that's all they do is jerk off.
(16:01:56) harblefu: And the Mommy says "You take away its battle to survive, and this is what you get."
(16:02:02) harblefu: That's how I feel about college students.
(16:02:30) IkonLust: You know.... you're right.
(16:02:33) harblefu: haha.
(16:02:34) harblefu: No.
(16:02:34) IkonLust: I have seen it.
(16:02:36) harblefu: Palahniuk is right.

I've been the monkey lately. Fucking jacked myself raw because there ain't fuckelse to do. A lot of people I know are being the monkey. Jacking their brains raw because there ain't fuckelse to do. Pittsburgh is one big fucking bukake session and sloth is a virtue. Routine and Habit are the new Adventure. The urge to explore and question and actually Fucking Do Something is UnAmerican.

Fortunately, I'm going to the mall tomorrow. And to another district of the city on Sunday- one I've never been to. And I'm leaving this sucking pit of shit for five days starting Thursday. If I had it my way, I wouldn't be coming back. There's a full moon and daylight savings and My First Convention and an ELECTION all within a WEEK and I may even take the TRAIN. Yeah. I'm going to The Mall to look for a book to read on the commute and a cheap cel without a two-year plan and maybe an MP3-capable discman.

And Sunday I'm going to tell some somewhat important people to stick their head in a pig, as my friend Sean will be Gone when I get back from Philly and that's my last chance to see him. Sean leaves and the number of people I met in skool that are still in Pittsburgh will be single digit. My options for sunday are to wallow in sloth and get sucked off by Routine, or Do Something.

Sean's one of the few friends I have in this town. Saying it's a decision is like saying the next president won't be a christian. He's a blast to hang out with. The only person I've ever been completely comfortable barhopping with, with the possible exception of my friend Randy. Difference is the Sean-related drinking stories are a lot funnier.

The next ten days are going to totally rule. I won't even have time to masturbate.

The best thing about my life is that it occasionally wakes the fuck up out of the wet dream of sloth. And I clean the slothspunk off, change my underwear and get something done with my life. When that happens, I feel like there's a point to it, like I'm doing something that somehow Matters to somebody, and I'm not even half as bitchy and contentous as I have been the last few months. Quitting smoking was a solid step in the right direction, but I've faltered on the follow through and now it's causing more problems than it solved- a situation that's about to get a good solid kick in the ass.

'cuz the nine to five or the noon to seven or the whatever it is... unless you love it enough to wear the T-shirt, it ain't life. It's the Living Death.

They call it Adulthood in these parts.

00:19 in irk

21:18 <@xeno> this SUCKS.
21:18 <@xeno> it's so awesome.



Use the source, Luke

As an artist, ./configure make make install shouldn't be something you're exposed to. Ever.

But hey, I do video for a living, and I've wound up with a large number of multi-gig files floating around. We're talking three gig DVD images, sixteen gig source video files, shit like that.

NFS craps on > 2g transfers, and Netatalk 1.6.x crapped on > 2g transfers and filenames longer than ~33 characters. And the terabyte RAID that we have at work specifically for solving storage and organization problems isn't a mac.

I just compiled bdb and netatalk 2.0 so I could clean off my workstation. >_< I'D RATHER BE SAILING.

On the upside, after completely gutting netatalk 1.6.x, RTFM and dumping in bdb first, everything just kind of Works, which is Nice. About as Nice as having not spent half of my week screwing around with debian would have been. :P



13:52 in irk

10:46 < mdxi> http://docs.info.apple.com/article.html?artnum=86816
10:46 < mdxi> What.
10:46 < mdxi> Thefuck.
10:46 < solios> :|
10:47 < mdxi> WITH YOUR HANDS, ARMS
10:47 < solios> MAINLY HANDS
10:47 < solios> ALSO BACK, LEGS
10:47 < solios> (SOLD SEPERATELY)
10:48 < solios> yes, but can I get it BTO?
10:48 < mdxi> DID YOU WANT LEGS? TWO LEGS?
10:48 < solios> HOW ABOUT A THIRD LEG?
10:49 <@ejp> I'd rather have a prehensile tail.
10:49 <@ejp> or wang. that'd be neat.
10:49 < mdxi> fagbot: doot for prehensile vagina
10:49 < fagbot> PLEASE PASS THE SUICIDE?!?
10:50 < mdxi> just think how well we'll be able to hold things once our fingers become FULLY HENSILE
10:51 < solios> or even POST HENSILE
10:51 < solios> man, that would be awesome.

Parse Error
01:09 in irk

22:01 < solios> I think I finally placed the PK rifles.
22:01 < solios> sega light gun, I think.
22:02 < vai> 'laser palmistry' Future-proof ghey.
22:03 * ejp fills vai full of little bolts of yellow light
22:04 < vai> ooer.
22:05 < mdxi> OH MY GOD...IT'S FULL OF GHEY



18:16 in irk

14:59 < solios> pbs NOW feat. Jon Stewart
14:59 < esch> solios: pbs NOW feat. Jon Stewart
15:00 < mdxi> esch: solios: pbs NOW feat. Jon Stewart
15:00 <@ejp> mdxi: pbs NOW feat. Jon Stewart
15:00 < mdxi> NO
15:01 <@ejp> yes
15:03 < esch> HAve you guys seen this? pbs NOW feat. Jon Stewart

We're an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality.

Here's a pair of Salon articles you simply must read. Yes, it's worth watching the cheesey little flash ad to get the free day pass. You'll shit your fucking knickers, I promise.

1. Dubya's CIA appointment is supressing a 9/11 report that Names Names until after the election. I'll by drinks and drugs and whores for any Company Man who has the guts to leak that document to the press. This country needs it and we need it NOW. Not in two weeks. NOW.

2. The Administration is quite clearly insane. This one links to an NYT article, which sucks but I'm sure is getting some play somewhere.

And these cunts that are running the country are either even with or ahead of the guy who's going to fix our rep (Kerry's holding a rally down the street right now, feat. BON FUCKING JOVI for some reason- thanks for the fucking traffic jam, John.). And half of America actually thinks the village idiot is doing a good job. Hell, IRAN AND RUSSIA think he's doing a good job.

IRAN. Probably because Reagan sold them some missiles and some F-14s. And that whole tactical maneuvering of the hostage thing to damage Carter.

I think Russia's down with the sickness because they can see us heading for a consumer-driven totalitarianism, following in the Grand Tradition marked by such leaders as Hitler, Stalin, and Caligula. Real role models. Only with five hundred channels, detention faccilities in Cuba, SUVs, and more creative means of taxation and control than the Russians, Germans, or Romans could have dreamed of.

Yes, the second Salon article mentions that it's more of a totalitarian movement, and it's light-years from bona-fide Hitlerism or whatever you'd like to call it- but we've got the secret police, we've got the Homeland Security, we've got the detention centers, we've got the Patriot Act, and we've got the Culture of Fear that the Party in Power is deftly manipulating to keep the sheep in line.

Shit, this man's done more to terrify me than any pissed off muslim firing rockets in the desert has. His grip on the American mindshare has made me lose even the ghost of a hope for this country- I'm more terrified by the fact that people can support this THING than I am by the THING itself.

"All of you do, up and down the West Coast, the East Coast, a few blocks in southern Manhattan called Wall Street. Let me clue you in. We don't care. You see, you're outnumbered 2 to 1 by folks in the big, wide middle of America, busy working people who don't read The New York Times or Washington Post or The L.A. Times. And you know what they like? They like the way he walks and the way he points, the way he exudes confidence. They have faith in him. And when you attack him for his malaprops, his jumbled syntax, it's good for us. Because you know what those folks don't like? They don't like you!"



15:56 <@rjbs> 15:49 <_Fud> purl, what is the difference between iraq and vietnam?
15:56 <@rjbs> 15:49 <purl> George W. Bush and Dick Cheney had a plan to get out of Vietnam.

12:29 in irk

09:27 <@ejp> my head hurts.
09:27 <@solios> :|
09:27 * solios tosses eric the excedrin
09:27 <@ejp> head/ears/face/etc
09:27 <@ejp> SO MUCH SNOT
09:27 <@solios> bukake?
09:28 <@ejp> self-bukkake
09:28 <@solios> >.<



02:39 in irk

23:31 < Drusilla> so, alienating my friends is a bad way to get out of depressive funk.
23:31 < Drusilla> who knew?
23:32 < solios> it is?
23:32 < solios> I bit Roy's head off on Sunday.
23:32 < solios> He was just kind of assuming I'd be doing some video shit for him, because, you know, I do video shit.
23:33 < solios> < me> you want me to do shit for you, you better fucking wait until I'm not hung the fuck over. I'm ready to bite the heads off of babies. BAD. TIMING.
23:33 < solios> < roy> ...
23:33 < solios> < roy> :|
23:33 < solios> it was great. He'll bug me about it next week and hopefully I'll be more hung over.
23:33 < solios> he was Being Annoying, though.
23:34 < solios> I mean, really. What kind of person talks to someone wearing headphones when you can hear the music coming out of them and said person is writing in a notebook, pointedly ignoring you?
23:35 < Drusilla> ...
23:35 < solios> he does that.
23:35 < Drusilla> dude, i had that exact problem last night with the EQ-whore
23:35 < solios> when he's being all Needy and shit.
23:35 < Drusilla> link

Pattern Recognition

Wednesday : Normal. I guess, anyway.
Thursday : Normal.
Friday : Normal. Go drinking at the Upstage. At the Upstage from 9-2. Ingest between four and five drinks. Eat when I get home, pass out.
Saturday : Kind of meh. Go drinking at the Upstage. At the Upstage from 9-2. Ingest between four and five drinks. Eat when I get home, pass out.
Sunday : Life is fine until I stand up. Rest of the day consists of foul mood, looking for babies to bite the heads off of. Bitchy and snappish. Laundry.
Monday : Like Sunday only (if possible) more so. Head full of acid.
Tuesday : Acid levels drop to acceptable tolerances at some point during the day, normal operations resume.

Conclusion : Two nights of drinking gets four (total) days of hangover.

Total cost including admission and food (rounding up) : 55$/day (110$/week or 220$/pay)

Note : This pattern has been in place more or less since I quit smoking. I've been a regular at goth night since my ID got fixed back in the spring- I can stand the fucking music and there's only two or three frat boys, which is as good as it gets at a pittsburgh club night. I've yet to meet anyone I haven't known from elsewhere who's there the next week.

Observation : A bottle of vodka and some mixers (black cherry soda- tasty!) runs in under 30$ and will be good for a week at least.

Observation : I'm inflicting an inordinate amount of pain on myself with no payoff to speak of. I'm not getting laid. I'm not meeting people. However, that's ten hours a week I'm not at home, not at work, and not waiting for a bus.

Is it worth it?

Well.... progressively less so.



17:36 in irk

14:26 < Drusilla> it's not that i know everything. it's that i SCREAM it. loudly.
14:30 < solios> :|
14:30 < solios> it's a phase.
14:31 * ejp didn't have that phase
14:33 < solios> you're still in puberty.
14:34 < ejp> o_O
14:34 < ejp> not so much, no.
14:34 * solios finishs atc pre-pre prep.
14:34 < solios> you must be.
14:34 < solios> the I KNOW EVERYTHING FUCK YOU DIE bit comes in right afterwards.
14:35 < ejp> because I haven't gothed the fuck out like you too?
14:35 < ejp> er, two
14:35 < solios> o_o
14:35 < solios> lies.
14:35 * ejp travels a different path
14:35 < solios> you're goth.
14:35 < solios> you just suck at it.
14:35 < ejp> er
14:35 < ejp> O_o
14:35 < solios> :>


Two of the six machines in The Pit are running OS 9 at the moment. One fuck of an improvement on my powerbook- for some reason the display is greenish under OS X. 9 is spacious and zippy by comparison, though it's missing quite a few things I've gotten used to, namely Quicksilver. But it runs photoshop in 9 quite a bit faster than it does through Classic in X, and that's kind of the point. Photoshop is, after all, the whole reason I have a Mac, and one of the things I hate about OS X- the dock forces 7 and CS to behave very much like their Windows siblings, and lemme tell ya- that just ain't right. That's the one app I can't function in without window shading.

The other box is the Media100, and it's not as keen about the whole thing as my powerbook is, for various reasons. The big one is that it's running the Powerbook install of the OS, so it's missing video drivers, since the Media100 is using an Nvidia board. Aside from that, everything's cool.

The performance differences for graphics purposes and the fact that neither of my ADB wacom tablets are supported under OS X are convincing arguments in favor of moving the home system into some sort of dual boot configuration- which then leads to the WHAT ABOUT MY MUSIC!!!!, which leads itself to "I'll just keep an eye out for a cheap G4 for graphics" which leads itself to "Fuck. I need money. :P" which then leads itself to "Fuck. G5s are expensive."

Stupid technolust.

Best thing is that in addition to gutwrenchingly smooth 2d performance, I've already had to three-finger salute my powerbook once, to clear out some stupid AFP issue. So many little things I do not miss about 9.



Even the POPE is pissed.

This rules. Eight out of ten countries are pissed at Bush. Not to mention right around fifty percent of the one he's running like a Dot Bomb CEO.

Given the various friends I have around the world (yay internet!), I think it's fairly safe to say that the only people who actually favor the fuckstain are right around half of one country on the planet. Coincidentally, the one decidedly Pro Christian country that's demolished two Islamic nations (one under a fairly solid pretext) in the last three years.

If the international community doesn't hip-check this country- specifically this administration- I wouldn't be surprised if we go after Poland next.

The results show that in Australia, Britain, Canada, France, Japan, Spain and South Korea a majority of voters share a rejection of the Iraq invasion, contempt for the Bush administration, a growing hostility to the US and a not-too-strong endorsement of Mr Kerry. But they all make a clear distinction between this kind of anti-Americanism and expressing a dislike of American people. On average 68% of those polled say they have a favourable opinion of Americans.

The two countries in favor of the shrub were Israel for obvious reasons, and Russia. No clue on that one.

But perhaps a more startling finding from the Guardian/ICM poll is that a majority of British voters - 51% - say that they believe that American culture is threatening our own culture.

This is a fear shared by the Canadians, Mexicans and South Koreans, but it is more usually associated with the French than the British. Perhaps the endless television reruns of Friends and the Simpsons are beginning to take their toll.

I think the fact that half of this country can wake up in the morning, look in the mirror and call themselves "in favor of Bush" justifies global concerns about the infectious nature of American culture- the fact this fucker got into office is indicative of a certain level of myopic megalomania. Hell, it's common knowledge that the US has one fuck of a superiority complex, Bush or no. We're Better Than Everyone!

Except when we're, you know, not.

Personally, I'd be happy to see the rest of the Bush !supporters in the world get more vocal about it. Much more vocal. Hell, we're allowed to whip out our dicks, wave 'em around and tell other countries what to do, and we are WELL overdue for an international bitchsmacking.

Captain Conflict

At some point in the past six weeks- or at the very least, right around equinox (when the z buffer on my ears failed and I spent two hours at a party completely unable to filter or sort conversations happening right in front of me from conversations on the other side of the house), I've been Avoidant. Sort of. That's my word for it, anyway- the actual definition of an Avoidant personality seems to tie the desire to avoid contact/things/whatever with the whole "fear of rejection" thing and that's really not the case. Quite the opposite, really. Rejection means you've at least been noticed, and I've been trying very, very hard to Not Be.

I've been trying to keep everything- including myself- at arms length. Haven't checked email since Sunday, haven't actually responded to any of it in weeks, and I have some inbox items dating back to 2003. Some part of my brain just refuses to look at it or even see that part of the screen when I'm on it. I've been doing the same thing with DA comments, IRC /msgs and AIM, whenever that's on- though much less with IRC. Nevermind people. Outside of coworkers, I haven't had a multisyllibic exchange with one of those since Sunday. It's like my twitching, screaming, cold-sweat aversion to the sight of sexual interface hardware has expanded to cover The Entire Fucking Universe.

The Motherfucking Phone is being ignored as well, though that's been par for the course forever- the marked tendency of anything with a pulse to use either its mouthbits, assbits, or some piece of technology to irritate the everloving shit out of me at the EXACT moment I slip into a state of Concentration is why I'll unplug the phone instead of answering it. This tendency to induce maximum annoyance at the worst time is also one of the main reasons I've been single for well over a year, and haven't even bothered to look around- bitching about sex and companionship over the course of the last year has been more raging about the fact it's a genetic requirement than about the lack thereof, which doesn't bother my cognition in the least. Minus that whole lungs-and-air thing.

In related news, some big piece of Bad has been dancing around the edges of my conscious mind, and has proven to be highly resistant to repression or confrontation. In part because it's one of those issues that by its nature requires a whole stupid amount of other shit to be changed or dealt with, and I'm sorry but FUCK THAT NOISE my life more or less WORKS as it is right now and I really do NOT need some SHIT IN MY HEAD demanding that I make it more complicated when I should be dealing with other priorities.

I'd be keen on wiping that impulse out of my head and grinding it into a stain on the floor save for the fact that I'm not being victimized by some bad memory so much as shat all over by the asshole of my artistic impulses.

End result is I'm quite impressively non-functional in many respects, most of them being of the internal dialogue and production variety. It's great. I'm so fucking twitchy about mister mystery thought that I can't even write it down on paper- the half of my head I'm betting on winning pulls the other half back and kicks it around. Thank the gods I have my discman, or the bus ride would be extra annoying.

Usually whenever I'm Extra Mental (which happens about once every three to six months and usually for much briefer periods of time), I'll fixate on a short magazine of songs that {in}directly touch on how I feel about whatever the fuck crawled up my ass and died during a given bout of instability.

Usually these have something to do with mental stability or the lack thereof- past focal points have been Contagious by Birmingham 6, Just One Fix by Ministry, Airport Bar by Cubanate, Panzer Ruin by Current 93, most of KMDFM's XTORT, and most recently Anything (Viva!) by Foetus. Currently I'm playing the hell out of Hamstrung on the Highway by Pig, specifically for the chorus: "I'll get a grip, I'll get a gun.".

If only problems were that easy to solve.


and GAH and NRRRRGH and other similar noises one makes when frustrated.

Not only am I massively unmotivated, I have no energy to speak of. It's not the pensive kind of boredom that leads to pr0n, it's the wall of mindsucking blah that implies a thick block between cognitive processing and the exterior self, with Awareness left out in the cold.

Fuck, this week I've played Doom 3, installed software, and jacked off on photoshop for an hour. I wanted to get some work done on ATC, but, uh.... yeah. That's happened, hasn't it?

On top of the suck, I'm having serious short term memory problems. Ram register capacity something to the order of one, maybe two objects instead of the usual seven or eight, and this includes things like home row positioning, audio filtering, and my whole reason for bringing up whatever application I just launched.

Sleeping like shit, too. Haven't been to bed earlier than 4:30am a single day this week, and I haven't slept more than six hours at a stretch, tops.

Temporary, in theory- though the memory issues have been on deck since I've quite smoking and a good amount of my aberrant behaviour the past two weeks or so has been of the sort that magnets of the same polarity evince when placed too close to each other. If the result wasn't a blank fog of nothing that just sits in front of a screen and occasionally types something, it might be fairly entertaining.

As it stands, I feel more unplugged than usual, and it's annoying.

[ originally posted in my DA account. ]

Phones Suck
18:22 in irk

15:13 <@solios> nice.
15:13 <@solios> whoever's calling _finally_ stopped waiting for me to answer.
15:13 <@solios> I have a simple phone policy- if I'm Doing Something, I don't answer it. Period.
15:14 <@_Lasar> Depends on your definition of "something"
15:15 <@_Lasar> <solios> Can't answer the phone, I'm busy breathing!
15:15 * xenia has the policy of always turning her cell off.
15:15 <@xenia> Nobody needs to pester me.
15:15 <@solios> in this case, I was at the beginning of the deviantart submission process.
15:15 <@solios> * solios clicks submit.
15:15 <@solios> * form loads.
15:15 <@solios> * solios enters title.
15:15 <@solios> * phone rings.
15:15 <@solios> O_o
15:16 <@solios> I clicked the "choose file" button and it immediatly started ringing again.
15:16 <@ejp> callerid++
15:17 <@solios> I need that.
15:17 <@solios> But this is a work phone.
15:17 <@solios> I don't even bother with the home phone.
15:17 <@solios> I can't remember the last time I _used_ the home phone.
15:17 <@_Lasar> Heh.
15:17 <@_Lasar> My phone rocks now.
15:17 <@_Lasar> I don't know why, but it doesn't ring.
15:17 <@ejp> pfft, my new cellphone pwns you all
15:17 <@_Lasar> But when somebody is calling and I pick up, it works.
15:17 <@solios> o_o
15:18 <@_Lasar> * Lasar picks up the phone to call somebody
15:18 <@_Lasar> <person> Hi. Why didn't you pick up sooner.
15:18 <@_Lasar> <lasar> ...
15:18 <@solios> _Lasar: nice
15:18 <@xenia> I just don't pick up my phone. It's either my mother, or Bret, or someone who's unhappy at me.
15:18 <@xenia> Fuck this.
15:18 <@_Lasar> People now call me on the cellphone to tell me that I should pick up my phone.
15:18 <@solios> I need to inform the people in my life that if I don't pick it up on the second ring, just give up.
15:19 <@solios> and if you interrupt me while I'm Doing Something, I'm NOT answering. I'm unplugging.
15:19 <@solios> I react Violently to interruptions.
15:19 <@solios> :D
15:19 <@xenia> Haha.
15:19 <@_Lasar> Answering machine.
15:19 <@ejp> bunch of anti-social people in here.
15:19 <@solios> _Lasar: work phone.
15:19 <@ejp> I bet you're all terrorists or something
15:19 <@_Lasar> "Hi, this is solios. If you hear this, you are already pissing me off."
15:21 <@solios> _Lasar++

Citizen Solios (redux)

Voter registration card showed up in the mail today- somewhere around two months or so after the fact (maybe three), and a week after the registration deadline. But I have it, damnit- and in a timely fashion, iTunes is playing Ministry : Wrong.



The Timely Experience of Doom 3

This started off as a short list of the weapons in the game, with a little paragraph about each one detailing my thoughts and feelings about them. It quickly spiraled out of control and has since moved on to become a halfassed game review and a semi-rant about the genre. Rather large for a half ass, but simply put: it was do this or think about shit I've been trying to repress for weeks. You do the math.

In the course of digging up links to corroborate various tangents, I found this review of Painkiller, which is quite nice. I also found a spiffy article on Gamespot that details how Daikatana was fucked from the get-go, which sort of underscores the complete reverse of everything iD's accomplished with Doom 3. Yes, it was an uphill battle, none of the original level designers are still there (I've played Doom and firmly believe that the fact none of the original "creators" are still there is a good thing), Paul Steed got fired, etceteras, etceteras. Ion Storm went through similar and shat out a stinking turd that has proven to be the butt of endless jokes, whereas iD fought through internal stresses, got the job Done Right, and has released something that is an undisputable masterpiece of the horror/suspense genre.

If you like Alien, Aliens, Night of the Living Dead, 28 Days Later or even Resident Evil, well, this is right up your alley.

If your machine can handle it.

17:33 in irk

13:34 <@solios> fagbot: literal god
13:34 <+fagbot> solios: god =is= <reply>God has a hardon for Marines. Because we KILL everything we SEE.|<reply>LEMME GIVE YOU A LITTLE INSIDE INFORMATION ABOUT GOD. GOD LIKES TO WATCH.

15:09 in irk

12:03 <@rjbs> have you seen/had licquorice altoids?
12:04 < solios> :O
12:04 < solios> no.
12:04 < solios> dear GODS no.
12:04 < solios> that just sounds.... wrong.
12:04 < mdxi> how about the ginger ones?
12:04 < mdxi> that's a hit and a half
12:05 < solios> ?
12:05 < mdxi> ginger altoids
12:05 < solios> sounds scary.
12:05 <@rjbs> too hot.
12:06 < solios> I remember altoids as going POOF! right up my noise. And out my ears. And my eyes.
12:06 < mdxi> also, take one Altoid Tab and one Listermint Tab. place on back of tongue.
12:06 < mdxi> you'll SEE THROUGH TIME

An Evening in Delta Labs

There's a bus in about twenty minutes.

And it'll take me home, and I'll sleep.

I just beat Doom3 in what amounts to one sitting- having started around five in the afternoon and hauled ass for twelve hours straight. I'm a bit irked that you lose weapons in hell and lose them when you get back, which sort of defeats the purpose of putting together the BFG puzzle, imo. The monitor next to me randomly coming out of sleep and the one AM security sweep were nice touches, and I really hate the floating head things. And the goddamned fireball-tossing things. Hatem. That aside, Doom3 gets a 10 for graphics, an 11 for sound (with the sole exception being the CPU level, which is great excepting a halfassed tension-techno corny thing at a couple of points, smudging an otherwise flawless presentation), and a nice solid 9 for story, 10 if you're one of those people who considers the presentation a part of the narrative. The fact iD actually has a plot is fucking impressive- nevermind the fact that it's a nice solid one that'll please anyone who's seen Aliens and likes zombie movies.

Fuck, I just ran a twelve hour marathon on the thing. At work, since there isn't a Mac version yet. It's Good, and I'm going to be an empty shell for the rest of the week due to the amount of sleep I'm about to not get.

I've committed stupidity of this magnitude for work and gotten paid for it, and for school and gotten grades for it.

Single minded focus isn't really a benefit in a lot of situations, I've noticed. Especially times where one might need to focus on other things, like bills or email.

On the upside, Doom 3 has allowed me to COMPLETELY IGNORE all kinds of psychosexual bugfuckery what's been hammering at my skull for the past three weeks..... which is why I warmed up for this last night by running through the last 3/4 of Return to Castle Wolfenstein.



John Denver
11:09 in irk

07:54 < solios_> Oct 12 1997
07:54 < solios_> Folk singer John Denver dies when his newest toy, a homebuilt Long-EZ single-seat airplane, crashes into the ocean near Monterey, California. Unfortunately, the person who constructed the plane opted to locate the fuel tank selector valve behind the pilot's left shoulder. In order for Denver to reach back and switch tanks, he had to let go of the flight controls. At which point, the aircraft plunged 500 feet into the Pacific Ocean. Divers later recover most of the body, but not the head. Denver is ultimately identified by his fingerprints.
07:58 <@rjbs> :(
07:59 < solios_> iirc, Denver was a sniper in Viet Nam.
08:00 <@rjbs> really?? wuh.
08:00 <@rjbs> do you know the story about his testimony w/r/t censoring music?
08:00 < solios_> nuh
08:01 <@rjbs> Read up. Here's the short form.
08:01 <@rjbs> in the mid-80s, Al Gore's wife, and other women of that group, were pushing to get the government to label obscene music
08:02 <@rjbs> (and to get stores to then not carry such music)
08:02 < solios_> http://www.snopes.com/music/artists/denver.htm # I was wrong. ALL HAIL GOOGLE.
08:02 <@rjbs> a bunch of people got together to fight this, including Frank Zappa, a big leader in the movement
08:02 < solios_> Zappa++
08:02 <@rjbs> most of the people testifying were rockers who the senate was not hot to trust.
08:02 <@rjbs> they were not "normals" and were hostile
08:02 <@rjbs> John Denver is supposed to show up, and finally does, basically on the last day, late.
08:03 < solios_> O_o
08:03 <@rjbs> <senator> Mister Denver, before you start, let me just say that I love your music, and if more musicians were like you, we wouldn't need this hearing.
08:03 <@rjbs> <denver> Thanks. I think this whole censorship thing is well-intentioned, but it goes a little far.
08:03 <@rjbs> <senator> Well, but...
08:03 <@rjbs> <denver> I mean, isn't that how the Nazis got started?
08:03 <@rjbs> <senator> Uh... uh...
08:03 < solios_> !
08:04 <@rjbs> <denver> Some people thought my song Rocky Mountain High was about marijuana, but it wasn't. They just hadn't experienced the love of life you get in the Rocky Mountains. If we prevent people from knowing that kind of feeling, next we'll be burning books and repealing the first amendment.
08:04 <@rjbs> <Senator> HOLY SHIT UH... What if we promise not to pass this law right now?
08:04 <@rjbs> <denver> Works for me.
08:04 <@rjbs> <senator> Done!
08:05 < vai> sounds like you need more denvers.



We Care A Lot

Wow, mercury's been bitchier than usual lately.

I think part of that has to do with blood sugar issues, and that bit with the coldfluwhatever a couple of weeks ago. I'm happy the snot snorkeling stopped- two weeks of gurgling snort-bubbles every time I breathed through my nose was starting to get old.

So, that cleared up. Still having problems sleeping, which isn't all that awesome, but not unexpected. Should straighten out when we go back on to Standard Time at the end of the month. I've never been into that shit- my 11 AM is currently your noon, and has been since the spring. We'll be on the same page in a couple of weeks.

Periodic earraches- nothing as nasty as the one I had in late '99, but annoying nevertheless.

Nightmares- weird ones. I've been dosing with Nyquil to actually knock my ass out around four in the morning- if left to my own devices, I wouldn't be passing out until six or seven, I imagine. Quite simply, I'm Not Tired. Trying to sleep when I'm Not Tired makes a bout of sugar shock assholism look positively tame. I'm old enough to know better, and too cheap to bother with the medical profession, so it's a NyQuil Knockout and leadsludge headmeats for a few hours in the morning.

Damned weekends.

On the upside, found out that the girl who was humping my leg and making my life hell with non-stop {attempted} sexual assault throughout the winter and spring was given a firm talking-to by a couple of friends of mine awhile back, which explains why she's cooled off. Best news I've heard in weeks- I can't thank them enough.

The other good news is that Smith picked up Doom3 for cheap at the Record Exchange, and it's now installed on work hardware for group enjoyment- which means I don't have to wait for the Mac version. :D



13:02 in irk

23:37 <@bda> Breaking shit is awesome.
23:37 <@bda> I ripped out most of the server room.
23:41 <@bda> Son of a whore. The MX is throwing drive errors.
23:41 <@bda> It's always something around here.
23:49 <@bda> Turned the box off.
23:49 <@bda> Moved it four feet to another rack.
23:49 <@bda> Turned it on.
23:49 <@bda> hda3 says "Fuck you, jigga, I sad now."
23:49 <@bda> That's just /usr though, so I don't really care.
23:49 <@bda> Just annoying.
23:50 < solios> :|



12:52 in irk

09:47 < vai> memory read error
09:48 < vai> so how badly is sat. sucking elsewhere?
09:48 * vai has managed so far to arise, argue and then lose.
09:48 <@ejp> just begun here.
09:48 < solios_> I had a really fucking horrible nightmare.
09:48 * ejp doesn't dream
09:48 < solios_> it was like 28 days later.
09:49 < vai> ejp: don't start that again.
09:49 < solios_> only the bees weren't berserkers.
09:49 < solios_> they were just... insistant.
09:49 < solios_> and horny.
09:49 < solios_> I had lots of guns, but they kept disappearing. :|
09:49 < vai> X|
09:49 < solios_> oddly enough, there wasn't any shooting.
09:49 < vai> dude. you have imbalances or something.
09:50 <@ejp> mostly he's crazy.

What's that smell?

Oh yeah. BULLSHIT.

Ever wonder why third party candidtates haven't been allowed into the last three rounds of debates (counting this years)? Ever wonder why the showdown between the big two smacks of a canned pre-scripted circlejerk?

Ever wonder what the gubment's doing arresting third party presidential candidates for lawfully objecting to their exclusion from the debates? (src=xeno)

< fagbot> WHAT THE FUCK, SIR



Fuck Apple, Adobe Sucks, etc.

12:23 < solios> Dear Photoshop:
12:23 < solios> You've been in swap for FIVE FUCKING MINUTES. SHIT OR GET OFF THE POT.
12:23 < solios> love,
12:23 < solios> solios
12:24 < solios> Also, I haven't even touched the fucking file. I opened it and did other shit. I get back to it, HORKs.
12:24 <@bda> So? needed the memory for the other shit.
12:24 <@bda> blah blah blah.
12:24 < solios> (then freezes the entire gui for a moment before focusing itself, spazzing the fuck out, and throwing me back to Terminal.app)
12:24 < solios> see, that's why I still like OS 9.
12:24 < solios> I could give photoshop a gig of ram and nothing else could have it.
12:24 < solios> At all.
12:24 < solios> EVER.
12:24 < solios> for ANY REASON.
12:25 <@bda> wahwah.
12:25 < solios> That app is the highest fucking priority on this system and the reason it was purchased. I don't fucking want or need the FINDER shoving photoshop into SWAP because I opened a WINDOW.
12:25 <@bda> waaaah.
12:25 <@bda> :)
12:25 <@bda> <3 &
12:26 < solios> hey, your apps haven't taken the performance equivalent of a gangrape concrete SHIT in the last three years. :P

I've gone on. I'll keep going on. Apparently, two gigs of RAM isn't enough for OS X to stay the fuck out of photoshop's way. And it probably wouldn't be an issue if Photoshop CS were something other than an unoptimized sluggish piece of SHIT with a whole shitload of "features" I don't need and type handling that makes my job impossible to do. Etceteras, etceteras.

Two Ton Heavy Thing
01:57 in irk

22:50 <+ejp> solios: fuck you
22:51 <+ejp> solios: you're contagious, you know that?
22:51 <@solios> O_o
22:51 <@solios> you spend the night blasting 80s and misspelling commonly used verbs and nouns?
22:51 <@solios> (also, duh. :|)
22:52 <+ejp> I had a simple little idea for a space opera thinger to write, and walking home from feeding my brain goes *FROMP* and it expands into a hugeass thinger.
22:52 <@solios> Awesome.



One of these things is not like the others.
11:41 in irk

08:39 < mdxi> so far, at this nanowrimo meeting, there's gonna be:
08:39 < mdxi> (1) me
08:39 < mdxi> (2) a Pern LARPer
08:39 < mdxi> (3) A semifurry highschooler
08:39 < solios_> asdfadfs
08:39 < vai> haha
08:39 < mdxi> (4) A collegiate cosplayer
08:39 < solios_> fagbot: doot for a pern larper
08:39 <@ejp> uh
08:39 < mdxi> someone is going to die
08:39 <@ejp> mdxi: One of these things is not like the others
08:40 * solios_ votes the Pern LARPer off the island.
08:40 < vai> mdxi: DON'T GO. THEY'LL EAT YOUR SOUL
08:40 < mdxi> i'm going, though very possibly just this once
08:40 < vai> (LARPing)-- #unless the weapons are real.
08:40 < solios_> heh.
08:40 < mdxi> vai: she's a PLAY BY EMAIL LARPER



Cyberpunk whorehouse.

(if you're wondering what subject and body have to do with each other, well... uh.... immerse yourself in mercury. Or don't.)

Music : Naked City : I Want To Live

I'm in close proximinty to the whole 25k thing. It's taken me about five or six times longer to get there than the mainstream animepr0n 4r+1sts, but hey. Niche market. Be nice if somebody who ain't me catches it.

I'll be honest- I'd be happy if somebody caught it (or close), but rather or not there's a prize in the crackerjacks depends on who opens the box. Yay for the perils of being a conflicted fetish artist.

It's getting cold. As usual, the heat leaves and takes my awesome ability to not think about things like sex and sexuality with it, leaving chill and the notquiteheteroIHATEPEOPLE soup. Hopefully it's out of my system and I'm back to being my usual repressed, mysanthropic angsty self. Monthly mental episodes are good for the notebooks, dammit. Until then, soup.

Soup is warm. Soup is good food.

00:27 in irk

21:25 < xeno> Mines don't kill Antrims, Antrims kill Antrims
21:25 < solios> the antrim cemetary is creeptastic.
21:26 < xeno> fuck yeah it is. :|
21:26 < solios> it's this big. -> .
21:26 < solios> and it goes back to like 1780.
21:26 < solios> and it's all swedish.
21:26 < xeno> it's fucking a lot bigger in the snownight
21:26 < solios> that's the Brigadoon effect.
21:26 < xeno> that sucked so much
21:26 < xeno> it was awesome



23:54 in irk

20:45 <@ejp> people elsechan don't think I'm warped.
20:45 < solios> well, you're not.
20:46 < solios> you're pretty vanilla.
20:46 <@ejp> :<
20:46 < solios> I mean, compared to me.
20:46 < solios> I blow the curve.
20:46 < solios> :|
20:46 * mdxi giggles
20:46 < bda> You blow more than the curve, big boy.
20:46 < solios> shhh.
20:46 < solios> pull up your pants.
20:46 < bda> :|
20:46 < bda> :X

My God, it's full of stars.
15:47 in news

Scaled Composites won the Ansari X Prize (CNN, slashdot), thus putting us one critical step closer to getting off of this rock- something NASA has been sucking ass at since 1972.

Hopefully Scaled's solution will be cheaper than the Soyuz.

04:32 in irk

01:22 < solios> girls who use the personals scare me.
01:22 < solios> YOU'RE A GIRL.
01:22 < solios> YOU GO TO A COFFEE SHOP.
01:22 < solios> YOU SIT THERE.



Fuck, lots of people here. o_o . Hips hurt. Quite a bit- irritating, not actually PAIN pain. Service is slizzow, Mr. Discman in the event of the jukebox. Staff's on the younger side tonight. Fortunately: no sign of the disapproving troll, etc. So, :). Easy to be negative. Want to go home, curl up, listen to Clock DVA and read, or watch a movie. Maybe stop @ Tiki on the way home- dunno.

They've got the heat on- first time this season. Dark around eight, chilly... can't really "see" past November- feels like it's going to be a rough winter, possibly- this based on the timing of chapter break for ATC, which will come in Nov. or Dec.

Tom's has a lot of neon.

So. Where? I don't plan on renewing the leaase, which leaves winter/spring to invoke and pull down the necessecary variables. Filtering Philly (fresh), or relocating w/in Pittsburgh?

Nicotine stained vent shafts.

Thick atmosphere of heat. Rearrange?

Victiminzed by negative inertia- that being the one thing I've yet to directly address. :P . The juggernaut rocks- makes me wonder if there's anything for personal use, need to check Zeus's library again. // Gay? Lesbian w/ a penis? Other? No answers in this city. Not anymore. Just a sea of genetic waste, sucking.

Ready for bed, power nap.

Hand hurt again, likely developing some kind of arthritis or RSI- would probably have a better idea of it if I moused with my left: as it stands // food, Jason Bannister in brief // strain is evenly balanced, both hands Go- perpetual pre-cramp, can't stretch it clean. Reminds me of beer hangovers.

Food. //

Consumed- crossroads, maybe tiki. Dunno. Home, music, Clock DVA. Sexualisty issues for some reason (log it to liquid?)


Swung by Tiki- too many people, too much asshat energy, some suburban darkhaired shescum blithering at a cel phone as her meshback Urban Outfitter boyfriend bellowed digits across the sidewalk at a volume sufficient to slice through headphones, Godflesh. Walked to the vacant lot- grass slowly destroying asphalt, unused- listened to Godflesh and stared at the USX.

Moved to the parking lot at the bottom end of 22nd, sat in the middle of it, listened to Pure II and stared at the Pittsburgh skyline. Depression- the city feels dead to me. It's felt dead for awhile- the stench of the corpse has finally become noticeable. Smelling the death of the social life is more like it- but without People Of Interest, this town has nothing to offer, and no reason to stay, short of inertia.



The Example
21:58 in irk

18:52 * rjbs thinks there's a REALLY nerdy joke to be made involving SYN and ANT and a three-way handshake.
18:52 < rjbs> let me know if you find it.
18:54 < solios> dude, that just sounds dirty.
18:54 < solios> and my code fu stopped right before arrays in GWBasic.
18:54 < rjbs> mdxi: hm. seems like there are supersections, too?
18:54 < solios> supersections++
18:54 < rjbs> solios: it's a networking joke.
18:54 < rjbs> solios: when you connect to a TCP socket (say, you want to make a web request) it goes like this:
18:54 < mdxi> DIM SOLIOS AS...
18:55 < mdxi> i can't remember how DIM worked now
18:55 < rjbs> SOLIOS: SYN!!!
18:55 < rjbs> SERVER: SYNACK!!!!
18:55 < rjbs> SOLIOS: ACK!!!
18:55 < rjbs> -connection starts-
18:55 < solios> O_o
18:55 < solios> SOLIOS: SYN!
18:55 < solios> SERVER: SYNACK!
18:55 < solios> SOLIOS: ACKTHBBT!
18:55 < solios> (bill the cat)++
18:55 < rjbs> solios: very interesting stuff. read TCP/IP Illustrated when you're bored.
18:56 < rjbs> mdxi: you had it
18:56 < solios> o_o
18:56 < rjbs> dim strSolios as String
18:56 < solios> fagbot: doot for three way handshakes
18:56 < fagbot> thank the good lord i'm COMPLETELY STONED
18:56 < mdxi> no, that's the new retarded DIM
18:56 < mdxi> i meant the old one that was just for declaring arrays
18:56 < rjbs> mdxi: lines that match /^\d/ seem to be supersections.
18:56 < mdxi> rjbs: yeah. i'm pretty sure i ended up just ignoring those in the importer
18:57 < rjbs> wouldn't that have just been DIM SOLIOS AS CHAR[10] or something? dunno.
18:57 < mdxi> i couldn't figure out how to effectively use them without a lot of extra work
18:57 < mdxi> and was looking to avoid extra work
18:57 < solios> you guys make me feel special.


23:45 < solios_afk> GODS.
23:45 < solios_afk> FUCK.
23:45 < solios_afk> ASS.
23:45 -!- You're now known as solios
23:45 < solios> FUCK.
23:45 < solios> k.
23:45 < solios> fagbot: doot
23:45 < fagbot> looks like another SHITTY DAY to me...guess i'll BEAT OFF and go to WORK


Gods. The only thing that sucks MORE is the special, rarified insanity that is NOT going out. No bar scum at the goth club. Instead, there's a completely different kind of scum. The scum you tolerate and even, on some level, look forward to. Because as much as they suck, as white trash as they are, they're still in a similar subcultural bracket. They're still, on some level, tolerable. Barely. They're as pissed about the DJ having the taste to not play the assleavings they like as you are about being within earshot of them whining about it, and there's solace in the fact that all the fratshit out on the street has never heard of anything EITHER of you listen to, regarldess of quality.

On the upside, I've never had sex with anybody I've met at this godsforsaken place. That would cause more annoyance than I can envision. The Pittsburgh goth scene is about as incestuous and inbred as your average backwoods West Virginia trailer park, with no signs of improvement. I'm not even going to think about hitting on somebody when I know between two and four of their ex boyfriends- and I'm even less likely to go there if any of those two to four happen to either suck or hang out with people who do. Snap judgement superficiality has afforded me the luxury of a fucktard-free social circle, and happens to have kept mister futon's occupants in the single digits.

It's Goth Night, and I'd sooner cut off my testicles with a spoon than go home with anyone I've met there. Nevermind the fact that black hair and black clothing and shit lighting works in their favor. Nevermind the fact that sororisluts and teenyboppers and female yuppies and all the other shescum out there is about as magnetic as a pile of cow shit- the non-goth girls have shit for aesthetic and music- and what the goth girls have in aesthetic and music, they shit all over in terms of personality, mentality, psychology and social attitude. Goth girls are, in short, the psychological equivalent of genital warts- you had to do something cool to get them, but having them is probably one of the single worst things a man can endure.

In my experience, anyway. But I have a really high batting average on meeting peole that spin my bullshit detector into the redline- the kind of people with vocal chords that do naught but whine, who exist to suck the life right out of me. Goth or not. They are legion, and there are very few exceptions.

The non goth girls are worse. So much worse.

Even worse, Ceremony is the only game in town.

Which puts it near the top of the short list of why I need to get the fuck out of Pittsburgh while I still can. After the Beehive contaminated itself and became useless, after the Roman Room fucked itself over, after the top couple of floors of the Strand Theater closed, the Upstage and Ceremony are all that's left in terms of anything- and it's a piss poor substitute for what has been lost over the last five years.

Piss poor, but better than nothing.


All this, of course, because the bullshit on the radio- everthing since (and including) Beck, actually- induces discomfort varying from mild irritation (Beck) to extreme agony (Spears, Blink182, Radiohead). I'd sooner have sex with a Republican than with someone whose musical life hinges around Clearchannel- I can argue a political agony and discuss a religious agony, but musical agony is its own special hell.... you either know exactly where I'm coming from, or you never, ever will- there's no middle ground with this kind of thing. This genetic allergy to treble, breathy voals, whining, etceteras- extends across genres and mediums and includes absolutely everything within a specific hertz range that Industrial, Experimental, IDM, etceteras very rarely hit.... largely (I hope) because they know better. Dating somebody who listens to Clearchannel is about as comfortable as dating a serial murderer or rapist- you never know when the aural acid is going to be sprayed into your ears, across your mind, and into your memory. It is a torture to be avoided at all costs.

Some of those costs happen to come in the form of Goth Night Annoyance. :P

The shit I put myself through for a favorable tonal range and sound structure.

I suppose it balances out, really. If I were as easy to please as everyone else, I probably wouldn't be pissed enough to take it out on photoshop.



Uh huh huh huh. Woody.
23:58 in irk

20:52 < solios> man.
20:52 < solios> watching debian install is like watching golf.
20:53 <@bda> Boring and with few surprises?
20:53 < solios> yes.
20:53 < solios> I was going to compare it to watching porn, as both are boring as hell to watch and have a predictable climax, but hey. Golf fits.
20:54 <@ejp> ...
20:54 < solios> I _do_ like how I get to plug in some X variables and am then forced to wait fifteen minutes before I get to see if they work.
20:55 < solios> So that's sort of like a condom.
20:55 < solios> Only in this case, spurting is good.
20:55 <@ejp> ...

23:51 in irk

20:37 < xeno> asdflksjadf
20:37 * xeno stabs solios
20:37 < xeno> REPEATEDLY
20:38 < xeno> Darkstar.
20:38 < solios> :D
20:38 < xeno> STAB.
20:38 * solios WINS.
20:38 < xeno> DIE
20:38 < solios> I like how it lands, then raises up twenty feet in the air and just stays there.
20:38 < solios> I think it's an homage.
20:38 < xeno> i didn't get that far
20:38 < solios> o_o
20:38 < xeno> tabbed out to stab you
20:38 < solios> awesome.
20:39 <@ejp> er, what the fuck are you two going on about?
20:39 < solios> the BEST MOVIE EVER.

02:20 in irk

< MadameOverdone> Lain: Goodnight, Navi
< MadameOverdone> Navi: Goodnight....LAIN
< MadameOverdone> Lain: o_0
< MadameOverdone> that's it, the whole thing


Okay, so I'm drunk and got a ride home from the night of the living HOLY SHIT GIRLS I'M ATTRACTED TO THAT'S A FUCKING FIRST.

And it's Oct 1.

And the last time I looked at the date, which was WHEN I LEFT WORK it was the 29th. It ain't no leap year and it ain't february.

So, segfault on the clock, or.............. dude, what the FUCK.

22:43 < solios> SINCE WHEN IS IT OCT !?@
22:44 < solios> I swear I checked clocks and they said 29!
22:44 <@ejp> heh
22:44 <@ejp> that way like, 2 days ago dude,.
22:45 < Drusilla> the clocks lied.
22:45 < Drusilla> alternatively: that was two days ago
22:46 < mdxi> 1.75h ago
22:46 < mdxi> ALIENS
22:49 < solios> FUCKING ALIENS

I'm aging at warp speed here. >:|

Hey, on the upside, I TALKED TO GIRLS AND I got some work done on ATC. On the downside, I'mma have the hangover from HELL thanks to hydration issues. And I'm still slurping snot. I love my genes. :P

MONTH OF THE PUMPCON and hopefully the BACK ON THE ATC. And stuff.